Pearls of Wisdom - Number 3 Hope and Fear...

         
This Pearl of Wisdom is written by Lizzie Role from Lizzie Somerset and is for anyone struggling with anxiety. Lizzie understands the ups and downs of motherhood and how it can impact on your mental health and well being. She's passionate about family, her faith and where she lives and I'm proud to also call her my friend, hope you enjoy reading her story.

 "Hope is the only thing stronger than fear"

Her Wisdom - Heather Von St James

I am delighted to introduce you to a lady who I know you will feel just as amazed and inspired by as I am. Heather Von St James is a true survivor and I have had the pleasure to get to know her a little over the last few weeks, Heather contacted me asking if I could help raise awareness of Mesothelioma and the use of Asbestos, Heather lives in America where it is still currently legal to use asbestos which is the cause of the illness she has suffered and fought after being given only 15 months to live. Her story is truly an inspiration and you can read more about it and the journey she has been through here.

Heather has kindly agreed to share her more about her life and her wisdom and is next person to be featured in my Her Wisdom series, I hope you enjoy the interview.

How do you start your day? Can you tell us more about the first 3 things you have to do to get your day started? 

It depends on the day of the week. On the days my husband works, I get to wake him up at 5:55 am, and then crawl into bed until 7:30. On days he doesn't work, I stay in bed until 7:30 and I then get my kiddo up, love on the dogs and cats. I usually snuggle the kiddo for awhile, then crawl out of bed and start the day. The next thing is, I make beeline to the Keurig coffee maker to brew a strong cup of coffee. I can't function until I have that first sip of steaming coffee. After dropping Lily off at school, I generally take a trip to Starbucks.  That is a typical start to my day. 

Share your favourite piece of wisdom and why it means something to you.

''Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death"  It is a quote from my favorite movie, Auntie Mame.  I like it so much I had it tattooed on my left arm- it covers pretty much my entire arm. It really embodies what I think about life. So many people get caught up in the petty small things, that they don't see all that life has to offer them! I take joy in everything. I feel and embrace all my emotion- I laugh, I cry, I love life. I try not to let the trivial things bother me because in the big picture does it really matter if Starbucks messed up my order? No, it's just coffee and can be fixed. It is the way I approach everything. 

What is your go to thing for comfort when it all gets to much? 

My bedroom and my bed. It is my refuge. We recently remodeled our bedroom and made it a lovely, airy room. I have a huge, king size bed and I love expensive sheets. When I am having a down day, (yes, they do happen!) I crawl in bed and turn on something funny on TV. I find I usually feel better after awhile.

Who are the women that inspire you?

Number one is my Mom. She is one of the most wise, strong, and loving women I know. I admire everything about her. She is who she is because of her tremendous faith. I strive to be more like her. She has a heart as big as all outdoors and is the best role model I could ever ask for. I'm truly blessed to have her as my mom.
Linda Reinstein from The Asbestos Disease awareness Organization is another woman whom I admire to no end. She lost her husband to mesothelioma 8 years ago, and has made it her life's mission to educate people on the dangers of asbestos. She is a mighty powerhouse and am so honored to call her friend. 

How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity?  
I wear many hats. But what doesn't change is the person wearing those hats.  I'm a mom. a wife, a survivor, a motivator and inspiration.. I love to help people and really want to make a difference.  My sense of identity ? Hmm.. physically it is my hair, and my tattoos.. I have the trademark white faux hawk, and both arm covered in colorful tattoos.. But what sets me apart is probably my quiet confidence and my ability to tell the truth to people. What you see with me is what you get.. I have no hidden agenda.. but there will always be a part of me that still sees the awkward 8th grader who was a little overweight, had crooked teeth and bad hair when I look in the mirror.. I sometimes surprise myself at what looks back. I'm a bit of a goofball, and try not to take things too seriously. I'm an optimist, and I think that shines through in all I do, 

Do you have a favorite dish or recipe that makes you feel good or gives you a much needed boost?

My dad used to make this stuff called sauerkraut bread. It sounds horrible but it is soooo good. You take bread dough, roll it out into a big circle, and on the inside, spread sauerkraut and Italian sausage mixed together, add salt and pepper, roll it up and then bake it. My dad recently passed away, so I need to learn to make it if I ever want it again. 

What's challenging you right now?

Dealing with the loss of my Dad. It's still so fresh. He passed away on February 27th, the day after his birthday. He was only 71. He was diagnosed with clear cell renal carcinoma back in November during a surgery to fuse some vertebrae. By the time they found the cancer, it was everywhere. He went very fast, and for that I am thankful, but wow I miss him. There is a huge hole in my life. Everyday is a new emotion surrounding his loss. I'm learning how to deal with it, and I know it will get easier. I do know I'm relieved he is no longer suffering. My dad was loved by many, many people, and I will always cherish those last days that we got to spend together. I was with him, holding his hand when he passed away.

Tell us more about your latest or next project.

Right now, Asbestos Awareness Week is going on, and I am inviting people to donate their social media status to help bring about awareness. Asbestos is still NOT banned in the US and is being imported and used every day. It is so dangerous and causes such suffering. There needs to be stricter regulations on the substance and an all and all ban. That is going on right now.
As far as other future projects, I'm thinking of a book. It is something that has been in the back of my mind for a few years, and perhaps this is the year I decide to actually do it. 

You can find out more about Mesothelioma and read Heather's blog at Mesothelioma.Com

I'd love to hear your thoughts on Heather's courageous story so do leave a comment below! 

Pearls of Wisdom - This my why moment...

So a little bit about my blog and why it came to be...

When I started this blog back in 2012 I was thinking that I spent my whole working life giving advice to others and empowering them to problem solve in their lives that it would be nice to capture this along with some really good thoughts, ideas and quotes that I've come across over the years that have motivated others as well as kept me moving forward.

Instead I endeavor to regularly bring you little (or large) nuggets full of wisdom in hope that it will make a difference in some way to what you are trying to get out of life, empower you to make positive changes, help you out of stick and uncomfortable situations and guide you towards being the person that feels true to you - sounds like a tall order but stick with me because it's not easy making changes, trying out new routines or habits or even dealing with toxic relationships or situations, life can feel messy and complicated and so often we can feel overwhelmed and alone, not knowing what to do or where to begin to make a start, it takes patience, belief and effort to overcome hurdles and become unstuck (a bit like writing a blog!) - and I'm here to make it all so much easier!

Her Wisdom - Meg Adams

Today I'm starting my new blog series Her Wisdom, I wanted to bring to you an interview series of women who I have come to know and who's influence, kindness and wisdom has had an impact on me at some point in my life. I wanted to bring you a refection of their life, who their influences are, the wisdom that has inspired them and the things in their life that bring them a sense of strength and comfort so I could share this all with you, I hope you enjoy getting to know them as much as I have.

First up is a lovely Canadian lady who I had the privilege of learning from last year when I took her 30 Day Blogging Bootcamp. Her knowledge and support has helped boost my blogging confidence and focus and pushed me forward to make some exciting plans for the future. Let me introduce you to Meg Adams... 

How do you start your day? Can you tell us more about the first 3 things you have to do to get your day started?

My most successful and balanced days are the ones where I workout in the morning. I will go to my CrossFit class at 6AM, and after that I’ll have coffee and breakfast. I’ll then head to my home office and start checking email and my social media networks /feeds for important news of the day.

Share your favorite piece of wisdom and why it means something to you.

We are human “beings” not human “doings”. I always smile when I hear this statement. We are often so hard on ourselves believing that we are doing enough, or good enough. That simply isn’t true. Life is about discovery, and “being” - whatever that looks like to each one of us.

What is your go to thing for comfort when it all gets too much?

Physical activity, typically in the form of a Crossfit workout. It really re-calibrates and grounds me. It gets me back into my own body and feeling grateful. This outlet is a great balance of physical, emotional and spiritual.

And my schnoodle, Lola is a great source of comfort. Going for a walk with Lola is always good for a chuckle as well as helps to ground me by being in nature and getting fresh air.

Who are the women that inspire you?

First, my Mom. She does everything with such grace and kindness. There is not a person she would not help in any way she can. Mom has always been like this. She has also always supported me in all my decisions, especially the one to start my own business.And all the women I work alongside. It’s those who are in the trenches, working everyday to make themselves a better person while working to improve the world in a little way through their gifts and talents that keep always keep me inspired. We often think we need to do something “so BIG” that our hard work and dedication leading up to that point is irrelevant. It’s facing the day to day “grind” with joy, fearlessness and trust that makes the “big” stuff happen. 

How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity?  

My identity and sense of Self has really transformed in the last couple years. I have learned that measuring my worth to others’ perceived successes is harmful and not constructive. I see myself as a dedicated partner to anyone looking to share their gifts and talents with their world. I honour my intuition and sense of spirituality, and seek to integrate that with my love of everything social and techy!

Do you have a favorite dish or recipe that makes you feel good or gives you a much needed boost?

Anything from my crockpot! I love it because it makes me feel like a “real” chef. And I love the smell it gives off the entire day, almost as much as eating it. Gives me the illusion I am a better cook than I am!

What's challenging you right now?

I am in a very transitory position in my life. I am thankful for the new adventures coming my way and the challenge to live my life on my own terms. I am moving to California from Calgary, Alberta and am undergoing a bit of a grieving process while balancing it with my excitement.

Tell us more about your latest or next project.

I have recently rolled out from Divine Blueprint offerings (Business, Book and Online). What they do is incorporate my intuition and ability to access the Akashic Records along with my online marketing experience and business-savvy to help people understand and get to the heart of how they can start a business, market their book, or create an online presence in an authentic and powerful way.

I would like to say a huge thank you to Meg for being my first interviewee and for being so patient with me for getting this up and going!

Pearls of Wisdom - Number 1 Where it all begins...

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
― Aristotle

Well, here we are then, my very first Pearl of Wisdom for you my dear reader, I think Aristotle has given us the most perfect quote to get started with don't you agree?

And if you're wondering why you're here, whether I have anything to say that will inspire you or motivate you then I invite you to read on and find out how this little space on the internet came to be....

So what does it mean to know yourself, like really know yourself? I can remember being a teenage girl, and a young woman in my twenties looking at women older than me and thinking - wow, she really has her shit together, so confident, strong and sure of who she is,  I hope I'm like that one day!

I wonder if you do/did the same?

Now I'm in my thirties, almost forties (gulp!) and most days I still feel like I'm 21, I look at my life and sometimes wonder when I will feel grown up, despite being married, becoming a mother and having countless financial responsibilities. However when I do reflect back I can see how far I've come from 21 and I know I understand and feel more sure of myself now than I ever did back then.

But how did that happen then?

Well for a long time I drifted and felt lost, throughout my teenage years I got myself into all sorts of tricky, intense but sometimes wonderful and exhilarating situations and this really kind of continued through out my twenties. Through bad, often abusive relationships, some dead end jobs, friendships, travel, in and out of college and various bumps in the road with family members I tried to keep moving forward to find a place where I belonged and feel at home within my own skin.

Then into my thirties I found a genuine love through my career path for supporting others, I experienced a gentle, warmer and more honest relationship, I navigated my way through marriage, motherhood and mental health problems and am still doing it today! But through it all I learned what I did and didn't like and what I did and didn't want from life and of course with each of these experiences, situations and adventures I learned more about who I wanted to be, but also who I truly was and what I stood for and most importantly, to be proud and fearless of this too.

I wonder what adventures and heartbreaks you've had to find out who you are?

It's been a journey getting to know me, some of good, some of it simply awe inspiring and some of it just absolutely bloody awful and hellish! I have regrets and I have the most amazing memories.  I have also met many people along the way who have shaped me, for the good and the bad times and for wrong or right. I have battled and fought, screamed and cried and have danced and loved and been full of joy. Through out my journey to where I am now I have tried to take notice of what's happening and what I've learned, about life, about love, about grief and about me, no it's not been easy at times but it's all led me to the point where I am now and I am the most sure of myself and the most comfortable I have ever been.

Over these last 10 years I have worked closely with women through non profit organisations, local government and an online support website supporting them to tackle and navigate through various life situations and hurdles, many like the ones I've experienced above. Through their experiences and my own I have crafted ideas, strategies and resources that have helped them, and myself to stay buoyant, face scary and terrifying situations, battle through all consuming emotions, deal with guilt and regret, accept and learn from failure and find some peace, some harmony and some love and laughter. I've worked along side these women to take control of their lives and I've worked so, so hard to find what works for me, what keeps me well and what keeps me being able to give my best to myself and everyone around me.

Once I started to figure this out life became much easier for me, and when things started to spin out of control or I was faced with change or the unknown, or even when I was just having a bad week and couldn't shake that niggly feeling we all have of not being good enough I had this amazing emotional tool kit I had created for myself to draw upon, it was great and I felt liberated and in control for the first time in my life, I knew myself and I knew how to look after myself when I really needed to.

Throughout my career as a support worker though I continued to meet women who don't have that emotional tool kit at the ready, who don't know how to look after themselves, who feel bogged down by everything that life is throwing at them and are lacking in confidence, belief in themselves and the self worth they deserve to have. This is something that I still see in so many women around me today and I continue to have so many conversations with women I meet about the negativity they feel about themselves and their life and so this blog of mine was born.

I believe that if I can figure it out how to create my emotional tool kit, take care of my mental fitness and carve out a place in my life that I feel good about that other women can too. I get that so many don't even know where to start and that is why I'm here, writing this blog and give others my knowledge, wisdom, guidance and advice because why keep these awesome and inspiring ideas and thoughts to myself when I can share what changed my life for the better with so many others, imagine the impact it can have on them, on you, imagine if the women we know around us felt like they had that wisdom of truly knowing themselves and lived their life in that way.

That thought, that belief, that hope, that is why I started...

How does your journey look so far? 

I hope you will share it with me and I hope you will keep sharing in mine....