Change is inevitable, and it can be a healthy, positive experience depending on your view or reaction to it. So if change normally feels like your enemy rather than your best friend then maybe it's time to take a different view on your relationship with it? You can learn how to let changes in life, no matter how big or small, become something you don't mind hanging out with. Read on to discover why change can be good for you and some easy, feel good ways to let it in...
Good question - why should things
change?
Especially when life feels so comfy
- why does change come and ruin it all?
Well, like everything, life
is transitional and sometimes we can't control it and things appear in our life
that take us in different direction than had we hoped for. Change can put us in a new
scenario or guide us towards an experience we didn't plan on and for a lot of
people this can have a really negative effect.
How does Change feel?
When change is unwanted or unwelcome
it can make us feel really uncomfortable. You might experience awkward, angry and frustrated feelings, and the
small things can be a constant niggle at the back of your mind and the big
things make you want to hide under the duvet forever, and then there's everything
in between!
Change can leave us feeling
powerless, low, desperate and completely overwhelmed, and for some people it can
have a devastating effect that really impacts every corner of their life, no
wonder people want to run away or deny that change is happening.
What can we do to make Change feel
better?
So this is the good bit — how to
become buddies with change in your life.
- Firstly, it's totally OK to feel bad and unhappy about any changes you are facing, and let yourself acknowledge this. Secondly, be gentle on yourself — right now, and while the change occurs. Be gracious with yourself for any negativity that you're thinking or feeling and show yourself some compassion.
Quick Tip - Give yourself 10 minutes at least each day doing something that feels positive for you - bath, reading, dancing, eating well, getting rest, taking care of your mind + body.
- You will have all these negative doubts, worries and thoughts swirling around in your head — write them down. Then think about them in reverse — what if things got better, what if you make a new friend, what if you find a new, exciting opportunity, what if you have a chance to learn something new? Now write those down next to them. We don't know what will happen so imagining things in a more positive way gives us an opportunity to let good, sometimes even better, things in to our life.
Quick Tip - This mindset doesn't always come easy especially when you are
bogged down in negativity, and takes practice so when trying to change a patten
of thinking start small - What if I do try a new......?(fill in the blank!)
- But what if it does happen, what if that dreaded, horrible, scary little thought that haunts your mind and makes you fear what this change is bringing you comes true? Well, this is where you can make change really work for you by focusing on what's happening and why you don't like it. Instead of letting those feelings consume you, letting the situation bring you down further or bringing you to a standstill, make a plan for how you can start to turn it around and move towards the good stuff. Again get writing — grab a fancy notebook and pen and put on the first page "My big plan for fighting my fear on....." (fill in the blank again!) then start brainstorming ideas. Write down as many as you can and I promise a plan will start to emerge, plus it's written down for you to refer back to. Use this as a life lesson in what you don't want so you can push yourself forward to what you do.
Quick Tip - If you get stuck on
formulating a plan reach out for help from others by either asking them to help
you brainstorm or by asking them how they might tackle this, someone else's perspective can help you to reposition yours if you get stuck.
- Facing the future - as Socrates said the key to change is acceptance but also making the best of it, so how does that look? By making the change work for you, taking what you learnt in the past and using that to make your future better. You can seek out opportunities, using change as a platform to show the world who you are and what you are capable of. Take the time to invest in you, no matter how small that is and decide if you will let this change bring out the best in you, not the worst. You do actually have the power to use change to you advantage, so don't let it scare you away, make peace with change and see the difference it can make. This is one relationship that can make a big impact if you trust it!
Quick Tip - For future wobbles when
life takes an turn that you didn't plan for repeat a little mantra or feel good
phrase "Change will be my friend if I let it in, change with show me what
I want from within" Or you make your own one up!
I always believe that it takes
practice to adjust how you think and feel. Shifting your thinking, behaviour
and habits from negative ones to positive ones often takes time and effort so if you
try something suggested here and it feels strange, silly or unnatural don't
give up, try it again the next day and again the next until you relax in to it.
Over time these habits and life skills will become natural and can help you to
protect your well-being and lead you to a more contented way of life - isn't
that what we are all striving for after all?!
Did these hints and ideas help? Do you have any great go to tips for dealing
with change?
I'd love to know if they helped so
leave a comment below!
No comments
Post a Comment