Today's Pearl of Wisdom guest post is written by Agata Galland from Eat and Bloom, it's focused on the relationship we have with food and how we can all nourish a healthy one that leaves us feeling
We all know that we must nourish and look after the relationships we create and have with others — parents, siblings, friends, partner, children… “Gotta nourish to flourish” as they say, and rightly so! So imagine how different your life would look if you didn't put any effort into cultivating those relationships you’re in? It all takes time and energy, of course, but what doesn’t? Plus, we all know it usually pays off — you get a happy family living in harmony, thoughtful and caring friends, a supportive partner and a balanced life.
How about your relationship with food? How often do think about it? Do you work on it? Are you being a good friend, listening to what your body and your eating habits are telling you?
Beyond the fact that we need food to live, eating is one of the biggest pleasures of all. It is all the tastes, textures, flavours emotions and feelings around it that are so attractive. We love sharing great food with our loved ones; we love dining out and experiencing new flavours, we love cooking for others and watch them enjoying it; we love the feelings that our favourite foods bring — whether it’s blissfulness and happiness after a chocolate dessert or contentment and sleepiness after a homemade Sunday roast lunch.
But often we can see that our eating patterns change during times of stress or life ups and downs. We may crave different things and flavours we eat in a hurry or starve ourselves and, we may assign planned ‘binge’ days or start to eat ‘unconsciously’ (i.e., eating ‘what’s in front of us’; not really paying attention to what we eat and why). Stress, lack of sleep and lack of time are often the most common reasons that cause our relationship with food to be neglected and sent to the backseat. Then, emotional and unconscious eating often come into play, which makes us (most likely) feel less in control, less loved and regretful. For many, it is hard to get out of this vicious cycle.
So how can we manage the relationship with food for it to stay healthy and flourish?
Like any relationship, it will need some work and attention. You can’t just leave it to be and expect that it will always be there strong, happy and loving. You wouldn’t do it to your husband or friend, would you?
Remember: no one else but you has the power to change your relationship with food.
There are a few ways to repair and work on your relationship with food if you suspect that 'the damage’ is caused by stress or a crisis. It all really begins with looking inwards — starting that conversation with yourself and allowing your body and your internal nutritionist to guide you. I like to ask myself a few questions from time to time, to tune in with my body and check-in on my eating habits and feel more empowered:
Does eating or deciding what to eat make me feel in a certain way (e.g., regretful, excited, healthy, guilty)?
How does stress affects what I eat? Or maybe other way around? Can I spot any patterns?
Can I find other ways to de-stress and feel pleasure, other than eating?
What is it that I am really craving right now and why?
Firstly, you will need to let go of any judgment and be kind to yourself. You will also want to turn up that volume of self-love and practice self-care. Being aware that your relationship with food has changed or is in trouble due to your cortisol levels, is already the first important step. Try finding those ways to relax and decompress. For some people the little things like a long warm bath, watching a fun movie or chatting to a friend means everything. For others, it may be letting yourself to sleep in a bit longer, buying a book you wanted or practicing affirmations. Being kind to yourself and being your own friend will help on any health and wellness journey.
Now, can you spot the difference?
To enhance and nourish your relationship with food, you may also want to start adding a mindful meal to your weekly schedule. Prepare and eat the meal more mindfully, slowly and with full awareness of flavours, textures, smells, and surroundings. No phone, no music, no screen time — just the plate and the present moment.
How does it feel? I bet it will be like taking yourself out for a date and truly enjoy the company and what’s around you.
This simple mindfulness exercise will help you to tune in and let your relationship with food flourish — give it a go!
When it comes to relationships, none of them are ever perfect, but we make them work. The same goes for your relationship with food — there’ll be some good days and some off days, some hungry days and some overindulgent days. But, important is to find the balance and love yourself no matter what. Be open to the relationship with all foods and don't label them as bad/good, dirty or clean. More important is to find the balance, love yourself and be mindful of nourishing your body.
When we are stressed or under the weather, it is easy to neglect others and the relationships we’ve built. Your intuition and internal compass most likely have the answers you’re looking for. None of the relationships we created are less important and all should be balanced. If we are looking after our family and friends, why do we want the stress and crisis to dictate how we react to and feel about food?
What will you do today to start working on your relationship with food?
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