It sounds like a pretty simple statement at first glance, but I believe there is a depth of truth to it beyond the obvious.
Human memory is a tricky and incredibly complex thing, and here is not the space to go into scientific detail, but we can discuss lived experience of how memories seem to work. In general, unless you have certain neurological conditions, we tend not to remember every single detail of every single day. There are parts that we only retain in the short term while we’re doing them or a little while after, and parts that may get grouped together as routines because we do the same things regularly – and sometimes you get a sense of operating on auto-pilot because those actions are so familiar you can do them unconsciously.
But other memories are stored, retained, and recalled in great detail, even many years or decades after the event, usually because they are special in some way.
These are the moments that I’m particularly interested in, and the ones I think we could be giving more of our attention to – in fact I’ve developed a journal and practice to do just that.
Memory-moments can come in all shapes and sizes; they might be just a brief snapshot, almost devoid of context, but have stuck in your mind for some reason. They may be of specific events, or places, or people, experiences or emotions. Perhaps you can recall most details of a special day, or a longer holiday. Whatever the timeframe for these moments, they have been captured in your memory in a form that makes them easily accessible so that you can relive them or tell someone about them.
I believe that what makes these moments special, what triggers us to store the memory, is the combination of sensory input – what we see, hear, smell, taste, touch – and how we feel; the emotional resonance of the experience.
Think of some of your best memories – they will be the ones you can describe with crystal clarity, as if they happened yesterday, and in intense detail.
One of mine is of the first morning I spent in Venice, Italy.
I woke up early and left the hotel to wander the alleys and canals, ending up in the Piazza San Marco and then standing by the waters of the Grand Canal. It was August and promised a sweltering day, but just after dawn there was a pleasant coolness to the air, and that sparkling light you see in photos and on film but don’t quite believe can be true. There were hardly any people around, so the Piazza was quiet and still, with the sounds of the cafes opening up for the day, the smell of coffee and sweet pastries drifting out, and on the water, the gentle sound of waves and the gondolas bobbing up and down, ropes creaking. I could tell you so many more details about that morning walk – the colours, the centuries-old stone beneath my feet, but if I close my eyes, what comes through just as strongly is how I felt. The joy and pleasure of being somewhere so beautiful, the gratitude of experiencing it before the crowds of tourists descended, the curiosity of exploring, and the pure calm of being somewhere that I felt instantly at home.
For me, this is the key to creating wonderful memories, and by extension, a way of having more of the moments you love in your life.
Like many of us, I’ve been through tough times, had ups and downs, and have learned a lot about myself along the way. One of the recurring lessons has been about the passing of time and how paradoxically you can’t quite believe some events were so long ago, yet others feel like only yesterday, and still other days seem to just vanish into the mists of time.
I wanted to try to find a way to even out these fluctuations, and the form it evolved into was journaling.
What started as a personal practice has now become a process I’ve shared with others through the Moments Journal. At its heart it’s a values-led approach to mindfully savouring the small moments of daily life that are important to you, a space for gratefully treasuring memories, and a tool for manifesting more of what matters most.
By first identifying your key Moments – your values, qualities you want to embody, and feelings you want to experience – the journal invites you to pay attention to the little things in the everyday that resonate with these and to capture them as snapshots of what’s important to you. These moments then help to build a body of evidence that what you want in your life is already there, and can help attract – or make you more mindful of recognising – even more of them. It’s a bit like ‘tagging’ keywords online, or using hashtags – giving moments labels helps your memory to categorise them, and because you’ve told it those categories are important, more details are stored and you’re able to recall them more easily.
What I’ve found through filling my own journal is that there comes a sense of timelessness, and it doesn’t really matter what date I write at the top of each entry, as well as a growing sense of abundance and wonder at how much life has to offer.
My outlook and mindset has completely changed since I began this practice, and I now don’t have to consciously go looking for moments that matter to me because I’m so attuned to recognising the signs and sensations that I can have days that feel so unutterably magical, you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you about them!
It comes back to that probably familiar invocation that what you focus on you attract – so by focusing on the things that are important to you, more of them come into your life. In this way, every moment gives you the opportunity to invite the creation of a memory that will stand beyond the confines of time and fill you with whatever it is that lights you up and makes your soul sing.
The moments that matter to you may well be different from mine, but that’s the beauty of a practice that can be made totally personal. After all, you’re the person best placed to know what’s important to you and how you want your life to be. Even if you begin by just noticing one or two tiny moments in each day that tick a box for one of your values, that’s a great place to start – and I can almost guarantee that if you keep practising, and keep following what matters to you most, soon your life will feel totally different in the best possible ways.
If you’d like more guidance to identify the moments that matter to you, I offer a free 7 day email course that will walk you through a series of exercises to do just this. You can find out more information about this, and the Moments Journal and where to buy it by heading to my website – www.jennifercockcroft.com/moments or find me on Instagram @jennifercockcroft where I share all kinds of moments from my everyday life.
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