Wisdom + Wellbeing - Hello New Year

Confession time - I'm actually writing this post at the beginning of December!

Why am I doing this?

Because just maybe I might have a newborn baby in my arms right now and because of this likelihood I am being super organised and writing my blog post before he arrives!

However my thoughts and intention about this coming year are the same right now as they will be when you read this — unless something crazy has happened in-between!

Her Wisdom - Louise Budd

I have to say that Instagram has bought so many amazing people into my life this year and Louise Budd from Tiny Acorn Mighty Oak is one of them! We have a shared love of crystals and time spent on a positive wellbeing, Louise is an artist who uses her talents to inspire and nourish others through her work and her online shops has so many beautiful things that will uplift even your darkest days! She has been a great supporter to me this year and I'm excited to introduce her and her little nuggets of wisdom to you today!

Wisdom + Wellbeing - Christmas with Confidence

So Christmas can be a wonderful time of year for many and you may be all merry and bright counting down the days, but I know a lot of you may be feeling dread, overwhelm and anxiety, for a variety of reasons too.

A few years ago the charity Mind carried out a survey and the results were clear that Christmas can be a difficult time and cause people who already struggle with their mental health and wellbeing to react negatively.

- Three quarters of the people who answered had trouble sleeping

- 60% of people who answered experience panic attacks

I'm guessing that those number may have even risen by now too. 

There's so much pressure for everyone around money and gift giving, spending time with family and/or friends that they don't feel comfortable around, work commitments and their own expectations for it all to be perfect.

Plus there is also people who are facing crisis around relationships, employment, housing and health. Not to mention all the people who will be dealing with heartache or grieving the loss of a loved one.

The adverts on TV make Christmas look so vibrant, a great time to enjoy the finer things in life with lots of treats, excitement and smiling faces but what if that isn't your reality?

Having some time to step back and think about what you really need and want right now, and how you can take some control of how the next few weeks unfold will make a difference, leaving you feeling more empowered and less stressed.

Here's how you can embrace Christmas with more Confidence this year:

• Start with where you are right now, observe what's going on in your life, what's stressing you or making you feel anxious? Deliberately make some time to acknowledge it but also brainstorm some solutions, there may be some aspects that you have no control over but there will be some that you do. Where can you lighten the load? What can you tweak to feel more at ease? Are there areas that you need help with? Then reach out for help, support and advice. There are no extra points in this life in struggling through on your own. Also, be sure to note the things that feel good and bring you joy, pin those up somewhere where you read them every day and be reminded to feel the gratitude, no matter how small.

• If there are any areas that are really threatening your health or wellbeing prioritise them, this could be financial issues, relationship problems or health worries. It's important that you feel safe and well over these next few weeks and Christmas has a good way of unraveling the tough stuff in your life. Prioritise these, you will thank yourself for doing it. Again talk to people who will help or understand, wether that's your family/friends, a doctor or another professional who can support you to make some positive changes. Then make a plan that will bring about the changes you need to see to feel better and ask people to support you to carry it out.

• Hopefully by now you've dealt with any of the really difficult stuff that's bring you down or holding you back. So now it's time to think about the things you really want from the next few weeks and nothing is too small or too silly here. Maybe it's to be able to do something special with someone, maybe it's to have some time doing nothing but watching Christmas movies, maybe it's saying no to the pressure of going here, buying that or seeing them. Maybe it's just simply having a quiet Christmas and giving yourself permission to do so. Make a list, check it twice (see what I did there?!) and stick to it. Jemma from Celery and Cupcakes talks about her Christmas Bucket List in this post and it may help you to craft something similar for yourself.

• If there is one thing and one thing only that I would highly recommend you do that would be to take regular scheduled breaks from the chaos of it all and shut yourself away for some well deserved down time and some space to recalibrate and reflect. This will help so much especially if you find yourself having to deal awkward, tension filled situations!

Here I've put together some resources that might help you to solve some of the dilemmas or tricky situation you may face in the next two week:

- The Clementine App for building confidence, setting positive mantras and getting some sleep.

- The Calmer You podcast for fighting anxiety and panic attacks.

- The Money Advice Service for any financial worries or stresses.

- Relate for tricky relationships and Women's Aid for more serious domestic abuse.

- NHS Choices for winter health hiccups and Christmas opening times for local service.

- Mind for all your and your loved ones mental health dilemmas.

- My Winter Wellbeing Workbook for creating and prioritising your needs and self care.

Remember that you could still do things like online shopping and food delivery at this point, or many stores do click and collect too. You can also do things like make cards, gifts and decorations if buying is too expensive or flip that round and buy if making bespoke, hand made items is too stressful and time consuming.

Staying away from perfectionism and reframing your expectations will give you a whole new perspective, plus STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA if it all gets too much, you don't need to compare yourself and your situation to people who are showing their best bits online and most likely are going through some crap as much as you are but are pretending that everything is just perfect!

I always want to know how you are getting on so do share below - do you have any advice you can add? Or maybe you tried something here and it's really helped!

You can reach out and say hi to me on Instagram and Facebook too!

Feel Good Finds - Christmas Wishlist Special

December is finally here!!

After being pregnant for the best part of 2018 and expecting baby to arrive anytime from now I'm excited that we're finally in this month!

Of course a new baby isn't the only thing I'm hoping for this Christmas - here's what's on my wish list this year!

Pearl of wisdom number 22 - Why time to yourself is golden

Why do we always put ourselves last?

Each day we have a mental, or physical list of priorities — work, partner, bills, kids, laundry, kids, friends etc etc — that we tell ourselves that we must give our time to, and I would agree that our day to day life stuff is important, but I would also 100% say that our needs are important too and it's time we started putting them further up the list.

Wisdom + Wellbeing - Finding your North Star

Photo by A L L E F . V I N I C I U S Δ on Unsplash

The other day I was listening to an episode of the Girl Boss Radio podcast (highly recommend if you've not come across it before!) The guest on this particular episode started talking about finding your North Star and how this can be such a breakthrough for so many people.

Pearl of Wisdom Number 21 - Building resilience

From an early age we learn all about adversity, and experience all kinds of challenges that affect our ability to keep moving forward. One of the biggest, most powerful life skills we can build in ourselves is resilience — but what if you haven't learnt how to build this over the years?

Her Wisdom - Tamara Driessen

I am so thrilled and excited to introduce Tamara Driessen to the Her Wisdom series. If you're a regular around here or follow me on Instagram you'll know that crystals, the moon cycle and tarot are all big passions of mine and something that I use in my self care toolkit. I discovered Tamara through her Instagram feed a few years ago and she is a "go-to" source of information and inspiration in my own spiritual journey. Tamara is a Crystal healer, reiki master and tarot reader and is about to release her first book The Crystal Code at the end of this month, in this post she shares her wisdom and with us too.

How do you begin your day? What are the first 3 things you need to do to get your day started?

I always try to start my day slowly. It usually begins with drinking hot water and lemon, reiki self-treatment and writing my morning pages (writing three pages of whatever’s on my mind).

Share your favourite piece of wisdom and why it means something to you.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world,” is something that I come back to again and again because the way that we feel about ourselves reflects how we see the world around us. I believe that we need to take responsibility for our well being, personal development and be conscious in our decision making process so that we can make a positive impact. 

What is your go-to thing for comfort when it all gets too much?

When things feel as if they’re getting too much, it makes me realise that I need to either slow down or take some time off. My ‘go-to’ thing for comfort is always to give myself space, which could either be waiting to respond to something until the next day, having a bath with crystals and essential oils or sitting in the park to read a book or magazine. 

Who are the women that inspire you?

That’s a tough question! There are so many women that inspire me. Laura Jane Williams, Sapphire Bates founder of The Coven, Lucy Sheridan, Ruby Warrington founder of The Numinous, Chidera Eggerue aka The Slum Flower and Patti Smith, to name a few…

How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity? 

My alter ego, Wolf Sister, came from seeing myself as someone who is here to support others along this wild ride called life, but also learning how to surrender to being supported, as well. My sense of identity comes from trusting my intuition, asking myself every day ‘what will support me?’ and eliminating doing things because I think that I should. 

Do you have a favourite dish or recipe that makes you feel good or gives you a much needed boost?

Whenever I need a boost, I’ll make a hot cacao with rose water and ashwagandha. Cacao is heart opening and always helps me reset when overactive thoughts are leading me astray and I need to relax or focus. 

What does confidence mean to you, what builds yours? 

Confidence to me, is all about being able to be my own cheerleader; having self-belief, trusting in my abilities and what supports me. It’s about feeling safe to say ‘yes’ to the things that work for me and ‘no’ to the things that don’t work for me. Stepping outside of my comfort zone and reprogramming limiting beliefs, has played a huge role in building my confidence.

Tell us more about your latest or next project.

My latest project is my book, The Crystal Code which is being published by Penguin Life out on 25th October. It’s all about unlocking the power of crystals and ultimately, unlocking your own power. I’m the first to admit that collecting crystals can be addictive and it’s easy to over-prescribe your life with crystals but if you aren’t working with them consciously, they just end up being ornamental. There are lots of rituals and practices that the reader can follow to collaborate with the crystals and start making their own magic, which I’m so excited about! 

You can get your copy of The Crystal Code and connect with and follow Tamara on Instagram.

September Self Care

The weather has shifted, the season has changed, the planets have changed and so has the moon cycle, the children are all back at school and I feel like I finally have some time to breath and take stock...

To get myself focused on a new routine and feeling full of vitality I'm going to embrace a little extra self care this month.

Wisdom and Wellbeing - How to create abundance

Do you consider yourself to have an abundant life?

What does abundance actually mean to you?

For me it's not just one specific thing but rather a collection moments, feelings and experiences.

Pearl of Wisdom Number 20 - Why your past might be holding you back

I don't believe theres a single person in this world who hasn't made a mistake in the past that they have sorely regretted because its human to get things wrong and mess up some times.

Making mistakes is how we learn about ourselves and our behaviour.

These bumps in our journey act as a guide to how we want to feel, think and engage in this world — they helps to give us a moral compass and grow as a person.

Crystal Wisdom - Crystals for Summer

The summer is now upon us — what are you dreaming about?

Holidays, sandy beaches, picnics in the park, BBQ's and a cocktail or two?

I'm guessing these may be at the forefront of your mind right now because they're the things in life that give us that all important feel good factor when the temperature gets warmer but it's not always easy to live them out when you are depending on money/weather/other people to fulfil them.

There is another way though that you can raise your vibrations over these next few weeks — with a crystal or two instead.

Pearl of Wisdom Number 19 - Small Changes to Make for a Bigger Impact

Do you ever play that game of what you would do with your life if you won the lottery?

I do...

Firstly it would be to buy a massive house, with an indoor swimming pool -  one here and one in Canada!

Then I would upgrade a million things like my car, phone, my wardrobe and book a trip around the world, donate to charity and then I would buy a really quirky piece of commercial property and develop it into a wellness and holistic lifestyle hub with cafes, meeting rooms, shops and workshop space - that's my dream!

It's nice to dream eh?!

Her Wisdom - Caro Davies

Today's HER WISDOM featured interview is with Caro Davies and her lifestyle blog The Twinkle Diaries is an honest and refreshing read. Not only can you read all about her family adventures parenting twin boys and her love for interior design but you can also buy her own designs in her online shop which are beautiful - I have my eye on the Family Recipe print!

Mindful Mantra Collective - Balance Day Retreat

On the last Saturday of April, my sweet friend Jemma and I saw a dream of ours come true — we hosted a day retreat at a fabulous hotel in Stratford Upon Avon for a group of ladies who wanted to discover more about self care for the real world.

Capturing Confidence - Boundaries with Grace and Kindness

Today I have a confession to make...

I used to be a people pleaser - I used to base so many of my decisions on what other people thought of or wanted from me and I found it incredibly hard to say no, even if it was to my own detriment.

But then I found a way to change, I learnt how to grow my confidence and embraced a new way of living that reflected my core values and served my wellbeing.

Crystal Wisdom - Spring Favourites

March may not always feel very much like spring but it's now officially here with the spring equinox and as well as giving the house the usual seasonal cleanse I'm thinking about ways to spring clean my mind and body too.

One thing that I like to do as the seasons change is re-focus which crystals I'm using for self care and healing and match them up to the vibe of that particular season as well as what's going on in my life lately and this is something I'll be teaching about at the Mindful Mantra Collective Day Retreat next month. 

Wisdom and Wellbeing -Travel Tips

Photo by Chris Lawton 

Traveling to new places and exploring the world can be so much fun however along side it often  comes issues like jet lag, digestion upset, catching a virus or feeling overwhelmed and anxious about the challenges you face traveling and experiencing a new place.

When I talk to other people it seems our self care practices often slip when we are away from home, I am guilty of this too and always end up feeling like I need another holiday just to get over my holiday!

Peal of Wisdom Number 19 - Core Values and relationships

Because its Valentine's Day we are being over saturated with information and opinions about love and relationships this week, however I recently read an article on relationships that made me fist bump the air and cry "yes!"

Have you ever had one of those moment, you know where you deeply resonate with something?!

Now I'm sure you're wondering what it was all about right?

Crystals for Self Care - A Beginners Guide

I've been using crystals for self care and healing for almost 3 years now, I remember the first time I really thought about buying one, I picked up a lovely little Amethyst crystal at the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto and I just knew it was meant to come home with me.

Wisdom and Wellbeing - Feel Good Finds

Since becoming a mum I have realised even more how important it is to take care of yourself, not just physically but mental and spiritually too!

When you feel good inside your own skin, treated your mind and body well and done something positive for yourself then you are in a much better position to give back to the world and give your life all the attention and energy it needs to feel good.

Her Wisdom - Kat Nicholls

Welcoming Kat Nicholls to HER WISDOM today! Like most people who use Instagram I have found it a brilliant way to connect with like minded people and Kat is one of them. We recently stumbled across each other through the app with our mutual love of all things self care, happiness and mental health and Kat's blog Blue Jay of Happiness is something that really resonates with me, no doubt you'll adore her too!

Pearl of Wisdom Number 18 - Beating the Blues

So apparently today in Blue Monday - the day when we are most likely feel at our lowest post Christmas and feel the pressure of our finances, new years resolutions (if you made any) our lack of motivation with the rubbish weather thrown in too.

Although it turns out that Blue Monday was originally a publicity stunt devised by a travel company over 10 years ago the day still gets much attention each and every year since.  

Regardless though of whether there is a special day to mark this feeling or not, many people right now may be feeling the January Blues for all sorts of reason, and not just on one specific day.

Capturing Confidence - A love note to yourself

If someone asked you what you loved about yourself what would you tell them?

You may be able to gush about all the things you love about yourself, or maybe you may have one or two things you feel good about and or for some this may be really difficult.

Which ever category you fall in to though it's really important to remind yourself often of the things that you do love about you because it's a great way of building confidence and self esteem.

New Year Wisdom and Inspiration - 5 Alternatives to setting resolutions

Photo by Elisha Terada on Unsplash

These days new years resolutions get quite a bad rap, it's seem as if it's not the done thing to set them anymore!

You may hear people say:

"They're unrealistic!"

'They put too much pressure on us!"

"They set us up to fail!"

And my personal favourite - "Why make a resolution in January when you can change your life whenever you want!" - which is very true and significant!

However it seems we can't escape the draw of making a change or starting a fresh when the 1st of January rolls around and instead now we hear people setting intentions and choosing words to reflect or theme their year ahead - so wouldn't some more alternative inspiration be welcome?