Have you ever done something that you really regretted?
I know I have — sometimes it's been stupid little things that are harmless but left me feeling embarrassed or silly and sometimes it's been a major, disastrous thing that's had a big impact on my life and/or someone else!
And then there's just the everyday stuff like putting the dishwasher tablet in the washing machine or forgetting to get the dinner out the freezer, or a particular common one of mine, leaving my straightening irons on!
No matter how amazingly organised, clever or dynamic we think we are, we do all in fact make mistakes, unfortunately though sometimes the aftermath of them has the potential to completely rock your world, and not in a good way - BUT only if you let it.
Today I'm taking about how you can embrace your mistakes so you feel less weighed down by their impact and more positive about moving forward and getting on with your life, sound good? Let's dive in!
First and foremost there's one thing you need to do right away that's crucial for your wellbeing and your ability to bounce back from what's happened and that's to simply forgive yourself! Even for those silly little mistakes that no one but you really knows or cares about, because you can't embrace the situation and grow if you're being hard on yourself.
Now this first step might be hard for many people so here's a little mantra for you to use when you find yourself writing those negative stories in your head and being your worst inner critic...
I am allowed to be wrong, I am still learning and deserve to be loved.
Even if you don't believe it at first keep saying it until you feel it because it's true, we are actually allowed to get things wrong. Just because we did something that made us feel negative it doesn't mean we're a bad person. Remember we're always learning and that's how we come know what is right for us. Holding yourself up to this idea of being perfect will only break you down and force you into a miserable life of always trying to achieve something or be someone that's unrealistic.
For extra forgiveness inspiration you could start a little journal, google famous people who have made mistakes and bounced back or ask your friends and family to share their biggest mistake and ask them what their best take away lesson was from that situation.
Now it's your turn to figure out what your lesson should be.
Sometimes the lesson is obvious - you should have gone to bed earlier, you need to ask permission, you must take caution - these lessons can be applied to so many different scenarios and normally ones that we're kind of aware of already but need a reminder from time to time.
Other mistakes we make can be harder to find the lesson in, especially if we had good intentions in our actions or are confused by the outcome. These are the ones to take time with, step back and take stock and reflect of your actions, and possibly the actions of others too.
If you're struggling to find some answers here are a few ways that could help:
- Talk the situation over with someone you trust — make sure this person is someone who cares about your best interest and will not judge you or your situation. You will instantly feel better just for sharing what you are going through and they may have some ideas about how to manage your feelings and understand your why's.
- Read and research - I've often found myself getting clearer on a situation when I've actively gone out and found books, articles or online posts that are connected to my mistake. Reading, or listening (podcasts!) to something specifically related to what I'm going through gives me an alternative perspective. This also helps me to feel less alone, especially if the wisdom being imparted is from someone who has also made the same mistake.
- Write it out — set a timer for 5 minutes and scribble down every thought, idea, word or feeling that comes into your head associated with your situation. The idea here is to let your mind wonder so when the words start to flow you can capture them on paper and reflect on what comes up.
A word of warning here though, these idea could leave you feeling vulnerable and potentially make you feel worse, sometimes the mistakes we make are painful in many different ways. To get the best out of them is to do them at a time when you’re not distracted by other life things, try them in an environment you feel relaxed and comfortable in and make sure you have something positive planned to do straight after, all this really helps you to be optimistic and learn about what’s happened with a positive manner - Remember to use your mantra or positive affirmation too!
Now there’s one more thing I want you to take on board, maybe this is the most important lesson to learn when we make any mistake - they don't define you, as the quote says you make mistakes, they do not make you!
