Monday 10 February 2020

3 Ways to fall in love with yourself


Valentine's Day is coming up this week but it gets a bad wrap these days, many people don’t believe that expressing your love for someone else should be kept sacred for just one day and that’s not surprising especially when many business and companies take advantage of this and bump their prices up!

Yet so many people still feel extremely lonely and fed up when this day rolls around because either the partner they are with didn’t bother or they don’t have partner at all.

It seems like so many of us are still putting the emphasis on being loved and adored by someone else to feel good and worthy about ourselves when actually the most important relationship you will ever have, is the one you have with yourself.

So, no matter what your relationship status is, here are 3 ways to fall in love with yourself this Valentine's Day:

1. Try a new look - you could splash out on a new outfit or something smaller like shoes or a dress but this depends on budget and whether you think you could justify the expense. Alternatively you could look at restyling what you already have, this is also a more sustainable and financially friendly option, however either option can be a fun and creative way to boost your self confidence and have a play around trying on clothes. A good way to boost yourself with this one even more is to play around with colours and styles you wouldn’t normally go for but secretly wish you could, it’s time to be brave!

2. Send yourself a love letter - don’t wait for someone else to pen you a poem declaring their undying love, go write one for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a poem though but it should be kind, compassionate and uplifting, express all the bits about yourself you like, you are proud of and don’t forget to mention the things you are looking forward to as well. Tuck it away somewhere safe but also where you can reach for it to read whenever you need reminder of how wonderful you think you are. For more ideas and help on writing yourself a love letter you can download my self love workbook now.

3. Remember something you're good at and do it again - now with this one I want you to think back, not to anything negative but to all the things you enjoy or were good at. You can go back to your childhood if you want, think about all those games or activities that lit you up, or maybe as a teenager you belonged to a club that you really loved. Maybe a hobby or a class you did a while ago felt like an extra boost to your day, anything like this is the perfect place to start. Now it’s time to revisit it and do it again because it will help you remember that feeling you have about yourself when you are doing something you love.

You know all 3 of these things work wonders for me, I always feel an added air of confidence when I put on clothes that I feel good in, and writing love letters to myself remind me of how far I’ve come on my self love journey, I also took dances classes again recently, something I used to love doing as a child that encouraged me to feel so positive towards my body.

I’d love to know which one you might try, maybe all 3?
Get in touch by either emailing me at 365pearlsofwisdom@gmail.com or join in the conversation over on Instagram.
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Monday 3 February 2020

HER WISDOM - Holly June Smith


One of the reasons I started this interview series was enable you to discover women from around the world who invested in their wellbeing, and have the opportunity to tap into their wisdom. It’s even more exciting for me though when the woman I’m featuring is someone I’ve met, gotten to know and has touched my own life in a truly inspiring way.

Today I’m introducing to you Holly June Smith, life coach, celebrant and mother and someone I first met almost 4 years ago at a blog conference. I attended a wellbeing seminar that Holly was running for bloggers and her confidence and wit caught my attention straight away, I knew this was someone I could learn so much from.

I was lucky enough to go on and have some one to one coaching sessions with Holly and she taught me the importance of how to prioritise the things that mattered most to me rather than trying to focus on the “should” and “coulds” in life! 

It’s been such a pleasure to watch Holly grow her business and her family over the years and I know her wisdom will be just as insightful for you as it has been for me — enjoy!

How do you begin your day? What are the first 3 things you do to get your day started?
Begrudgingly. I am not a morning person, I always want more sleep but my girls wake around 6am. I try to make the mornings easier by letting them do what they want until breakfast, even if that’s just watching TV. I make myself coffee, take some Vitamin D, tidy up a few things and prepare for the day but very gently. When my girls were smaller I would just lie on the sofa with them, but I’ve come to realise that anything I can do in that first hour sets me up better for the rest of the day. Once they’re off to nursery it means I can focus on my work rather than the house.


Share your favourite piece of wisdom and why it means something to you.
Will this matter a year from now?


I used to be a huge worrier. What would people think? Would something go wrong? Will I look stupid? Would my actions and decisions cause conflict in my work or personal life? Asking myself “Will this matter a year from now?” is a chance to reset, because the answer is almost always NOPE. It reminds me how small some of these worries are in the wider context of my life and helps me crack on.


And if the answer is YES, then I know that thing needs my full attention.


What is your go-to thing of comfort when it all gets too much?
My bed, Grey’s Anatomy, some cheese and some chocolate. I take recuperation very seriously.


Who are the women that inspire you?
SO MANY. Everyone has something inspiring about them. Inspiration for me isn’t about the books someone has written or the number of followers they have on social media.


I’m inspired by women who are boldly stepping out of their comfort zones, no matter how small those steps are. I’m inspired by women sharing their stories and using their voices for good. I’m inspired by women who are dreaming big and honouring their desires. And I’m inspired by women who are doing whatever it takes to just get by. Modern motherhood has so many pressures and demands, we mustn’t add to those by feeling that everything we do has to be inspirational or instagrammable.


How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity?  
With two kids and two businesses, it’s very easy to put those before my own needs and loose track of my sense of myself. I work with so many mothers who are stuck in that “well who am I now?” phase, it’s so tough when we don’t get much time for ourselves.


It’s important to me to remember that I am not just one or two things. I’m a sister, a partner, a friend, a writer, a lover of cheese and walks in the woods and cosy socks. I’m interested in so many things, I never want to make myself small. There is so much available to us, I’m always learning and love the power that comes with recognising that I am still becoming myself. I can’t wait to see what I’ll be like in the next 10 years.


Do you have a favourite dish or recipe that makes you feel good or gives you a much needed boost?
POTATOES. Literally anything made of potatoes. One of my favourite things to make is a tray of roasted baby potatoes with whole cloves of garlic, fresh rosemary, lots of butter. I’ll eat them like popcorn.


What does confidence mean to you, what builds yours?
For me confidence is all about staying true to myself. I want my work and my life to feel good, and enjoyable. And when it’s not, that’s when my confidence takes a hit and makes it hard to know what to focus on.


One thing I say to my clients is “capture the evidence of your brilliance”. By that I mean listen to compliments people give you and really hear them. Take screenshots when people give you feedback, ask for testimonials, find the evidence that what you’re doing is working, no matter how small. And praise yourself too, don’t only depend on external validation.


I’m not immune to having the “everything I do is garbage” wobble, but I have evidence that proves to me that there is value in what I have done before, which reminds me there is value in what I am yet to do.


Also sleep helps me a lot. I’m up with the girls 2-5 times a night, and sometimes lack of sleep is the biggest challenge of all. 


What's challenging you right now?
Lack of time. Not the usual “my kids need a lot from me” lack of time, but the “oh I literally want to do 45 different things with my life and I’m only one person” lack of time.


In my work I see private clients, I run group coaching programmes, I teach workshops and create courses, I speak at events. I do a lot for free through my Instagram and my newsletter, but I wholeheartedly believe that access to coaching should not be a luxury. It’s important to me to create things that can reach as many women as possible.


And yet I have much bigger aspirations that I wish I had more time for; a podcast, retreats, a novel, my own TV show.


I also love being a mum. I never want my work to take me away from that, so I am often gently reminding myself “Hey Holly, you’re just one lady, take a minute to breathe.”


Tell us more about your latest or next project.
I’ve literally just this week decided I’m going to explore this possibility of having my own TV show, somewhere online where I can show up weekly and share whatever is on my mind. I don’t know how, I don’t know where, I don’t know when, but I’m excited to figure it out and see where it takes me.


Holly June Smith is a life coach who helps people find their sweet spot between productivity and presence, because we all want to get stuff done, but also need to live in the moment. Holly is also a wedding celebrant and lives in Hertfordshire with her partner and their two small girls.


You can follow her online at @hollyjunesmith and https://www.hollyjunesmith.co.uk/

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