HER WISDOM - Chloe Crisp

This month I’m welcoming Chloe Crisp to my HER WISDOM series. Chloe is the founder and Chief Visionary of Keshinomi, an independent jewellery brand based in the UK. She is also a mother to 3 little humans, a certified crystal healer, lover of moon phases, creator of crystal affirmations, and maker of meaningful gemstone jewellery.

How do you begin your day? What are the first 3 things you do to get your day started?

I like to hold on to the dream state for as long as possible before allowing myself to give in to the mind chatter of the day ahead and all the to dos, so I meditate for at least 5 minutes in that dream-like space before getting my butt outta bed. Then it's hot water with lemon to officially kick the day off. I also try to add an entry to my moon journal gratitude list before the kids wake up.

Share your favourite piece of wisdom and why it means something to you.

Be wary of 'experts'. My husband's great uncle said this to me once, I thought he was a bit bonkers for saying it, it just didn't make sense to me at the time - experts are meant to be an authority, right? On the day of Uncle Eugene's funeral, when the Vicar invited us all to quietly reflect on Eugene's life, that phrase came into my head. So I asked what he meant and I got my answer: "experts are narrow minded, unable to accept new ideas or concepts." BOOM! Now I don't trust anyone who claims themself to be THE expert.

What is your go-to thing of comfort when it all gets too much?

It's going to sound like such a tree hugging cliché but... If I can shut myself way and lay covered with some crystals while listening to the sounds of nature then I'm as comforted as a bug, snug in a rug.

Who are the women that inspire you?

My Great Grand Ma! She raised 7 children, by herself, built part of her family home, then raised many of her grand kids, including my mum and her two sisters. She kept an allotment and livestock, which was how she made money, and was rocking the best Church outfit on Sunday (which my mum would whizz up for her on the Saturday night before). I didn't get to spend much time with her but my mum always tells me about her, how 'earthy' she was and how much she loved her and owed everything to her. 

How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity?  

I have to admit, questions 1 - 4 were a joy to answer because my responses just flowed out. I skipped this Q and continued on to 6 through to 9 and again they all flowed. Coming back to this for a second time and I'm still challenged to answer. This is clearly linked to my answer for Q8 - a challenge I'm yet to resolve.

Do you have a favourite dish or recipe that makes you feel good or gives you a much needed boost?

GREEN SMOOTHIE! Closely followed by coffee, turmeric latte... drinks I know, but the green smoothie and turmeric latte actually involve much faffing because I make them from scratch, so I'm bumping them into the recipe category ;-)

What does confidence mean to you, what builds yours? 

Confidence is knowing not everyone is going to like you, and being 100% okay with that. Once you're okay with that then you can stop trying to be someone folks will 'like' and get on with being your authentic self, which is very liberating. I'm still perfecting the art of truly not giving an eff, after all, it's human nature to want to be likeable. 

I build my confidence with colour, I wear my 'power' colour when I need to feel super confident. I've learnt over time certain colours deplete me, such as black, so I avoid wearing those colours. 

What's challenging you right now?

Detaching from the egoic self. Every time I think I've nailed letting go of the ego, its identity and attachment to roles, something else will pop up during a moon cycle for me to learn a lesson from. It's all part of the beautiful journey called life I guess.

Tell us more about your latest or next project.

I'm diving deeper into the cyclical rhythms of nature with an idea for my moon journal. I had the idea at the start of the year, but the information I needed to bring the idea to fruition is only now coming to me, so I'm super excited to get to work on that. It also means I get to dust off my graphic design skills too which makes me happy.

You can visit Chloe’s website and online shop Keshinomi to browse her blog and find your perfect crystal bracelet and you can follow Chloe over on Instagram here.

How to start a Gratitude Journal

Journaling has become a very popular self care practice in the last few years, many of my friends and peers have told me that journaling has been a game changer for their personal wellbeing. However as someone who works within the wellness/wellbeing space it’s never been something that I’ve particularly felt drawn to though, until recently when I reframed it for myself.

I’ve always seen it as a practice for better wellbeing, read most guides or how-to’s on looking after yourself and journalling is always featured there but for me it just felt hard, pointless and just not my thing — yes I did just say all those things!

Now as I said I’ve been able to reframed the idea and started up a gratitude journal a few years ago and focusing in on using it only for gratitude has been the turning point for me, and I also only do it once a month because when it comes to your personal wellbeing practice YOU get to make the rules.

If you didn’t know I’m a fan of following the moon cycles and spend time on a new and full moon focusing my energy on what’s happening for me at that time and how I want to move forward each month. It was when I really started to focus my energy at these times that I felt compelled to start writing down the things in my life I felt thankful for at that time as a way of gaining perspective, building resilience and letting go of the things that no longer served me.

This became a turning point for me and I now really look forward to my bimonthly journal time.

So if you’re on the fence about journaling too or want to try a new focus on yours here are my thoughts on how to get started and how to get the most out of it:

• Dedicate a time and space to it - so when I say time I mean looking at regular slot in your life when you know you can commit, this doesn’t have to be daily if that feels too much (which it does for me), it can be weekly, monthly, yearly even. And when I say space I’m not talking about clearing out a whole room in your house to devoted to your writing practices I simply mean the book your write in by either choosing a blank notebook you already have or picking out a new one to buy.

• When focusing in on gratitude it’s easy to recall the great, exciting events and opportunities that have happened but also remember the micro like a hot cup of coffee, a sunny day or a new plant for the house. Other examples could be finishing a book or watching a film that challenged your opinion or taught you something new. I also include the people in my life I’m grateful for and personal things about myself, like when I was pregnant I always gave thanks for my amazing body for growing a healthy baby or when I listened properly to my child when they were upset.

• Don’t forget to include the bad stuff too, and I know this might feel counter intuitive but learning to feel gratitude for the things that go wrong or makes us feel uncomfortable is an amazing way to learn how about failure and how we manage it and it also helps us to build our resilience and discover what we don’t want in life so we can put in more of the stuff we do want. I would include people in here again but it has to be constructive and not malicious because this just creates a place of anger instead of learning. So for an example I’m grateful for this person because their negative actions/feelings towards me have taught me x y and z or I’m thankful for this person because this negative situation has helped me to understand what’s most important to me.

So hopefully you now have a starting point to help you get going, also remember to take the time to look back at what you wrote occasionally, having a record of what has been a positive influence in your life over time and a memory of what keeps you grounded is a powerful thing to keep by your side.

Hello June! (2020)

Who knew we would be right where we are now - 6 months into the year, in this strange situation, slowly (and personally with much caution as I do not feel comfortable about it!) coming out of a nationwide 10 week lockdown period where life as we knew it was completely turned on its head.

June is officially here and you, like me, may be completely bewildered by how we’ve now found ourselves at the near half way point of 2020.

But here we are indeed and I’m giving so much gratitude for the glorious weather making lockdown life slightly more bearable for us right now!

The last few months have taken it’s toll on my mental health and I’ve had to work extremely hard to stay well, and some days I really haven’t been at all. The last week or so has felt even more heavier with many events and incidents unfolding in the UK and across the world that have left me feeling bewildered, angry, frustrated and powerless, never have I ever needed a dose of wisdom and courage in my life more than I do now.

I’ve felt challenged, in a positive way, to think about what matters right now, truly, along with what is important to me - what are my values, how do I want to intentionally live my life, and what do I stand for?

With such a mixture of thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head lately it’s felt hard to pin down exactly what’s important right now.

Moving forward into this new month though, I feel the need to really lean into the things I’m struggling to understand. I’m constantly consumed by anger lately, for so many reasons, but being an angry person makes for a rubbish mummy, a grumpy partner and an insensitive friend. So instead I want to use that as fuel and take responsibilities for my own actions, I’m often a procrastinator but get tired of things never changing, and of course those two things will never mix.

With this in mind I also feel the need to constructively and thoughtfully raise my voice for the things that concern me or don’t sit well with me in a hope to then be more active and less passive on the issues that I feel passionate about, in hopes that I can keep learning more and raise awareness in others too.

And lastly the need to show more grace and compassion to myself when I don’t meet my own expectations. My ridiculously high standards for myself are part of why my mental health suffers so much and have a long history of never serving me.

This month I’m working on changes I want to make, some are happening today and others will happen over time. Some of the action I’ve already taken is to be more aware of my media consumption, seek out unbiased information and focus in on independent journalism.

I’ve also started conversations at home around racism and culture with my family because I want my children to grow up have a better understanding of the world they live, why it’s important to fight back against hate when we see it and know how lucky they are to live with privilege. My husband and I have already begun to question where we learnt about race and culture to have a better understanding of how and what we learnt as children and unpick some of the racist behaviour we grew up with so we can unlearn this ourselves and be better parents to our children.

This month I am collaborating with some amazing women who are doing really important work around mental health which is so important to me. I often get lost in my own story but feel even more proactive about helping other women to highlight so many other stories through my own experience or by giving them a platform to raise their own voices.

June is now a time step consciously into the next part of this year, I don’t have all the answers, I’m not an expert on relationships, racism, mental health or politics but I don’t want to be passive in my beliefs, thoughts or actions. I don’t want to be passive about my health and wellbeing, or family and friends, or yours either.

I know I don’t have all the answers about making positive changes, I know it’s something I will always need to go back to time and again, but I want to finally pull down my barriers and start looking for them.

Hello June, I’m ready for you.