tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83653441548581795132024-03-28T16:25:01.908+00:00Her WisdomKaren Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.comBlogger132125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-43179276609601208412024-03-21T13:00:00.001+00:002024-03-21T13:00:00.212+00:00Spring Clean for Your Mind Body + Soul<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1VIFBy2iCMZTiHzIxi7wTZoU-p9bgAQv94PO43GAfTEjrE047GIgCFJ9J5Uv_z_eR6LkPDlOIS-BfnLAP8hNtuwTMxYiT6OnOsOBzbwP9J-voDrb5aLV4pmnDg-jq-lilWyU1Wm6tef4/s1600/Pink_tulips_hand.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1VIFBy2iCMZTiHzIxi7wTZoU-p9bgAQv94PO43GAfTEjrE047GIgCFJ9J5Uv_z_eR6LkPDlOIS-BfnLAP8hNtuwTMxYiT6OnOsOBzbwP9J-voDrb5aLV4pmnDg-jq-lilWyU1Wm6tef4/s16000/Pink_tulips_hand.jpg" /></a></div>
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At this time of year we witness nature give birth to new, fresh life and we often feel inspired and motivated to clean our house and give our environment a bit of an overhaul too.</span></h3><div><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></div>
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But ever considered giving your mind and body a seasonal audit?</span></h3><div><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></div>
<div><span style="color: #444444;">I think a little spring cleaning of yourself is just as important as cleaning out kitchen cupboards, washing curtains and descaling the shower head!! Dusting away cobwebs from the corners of your mind and body will do wonders for your confidence — when I feel good about myself I feel good about having more courage and motivation to positively move forward in life, and the rest of the year.</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;">Introducing my guide to spring cleaning your mind and body:</span></h3><div><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;">Start with a little self assessment — as you would go through your house and have a look at what needs some attention, do the same with your emotional, mental and physical health, what do you want to</span><span style="color: #d9d2e9;"> </span><span><a href="http://365pofw.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/number-5.html#more" style="color: #d9d2e9;" target="_blank">change</a><span style="color: #d9d2e9;"> </span><span style="color: #444444;">or do </span></span><span><span style="caret-color: rgb(217, 210, 233);"><span style="color: #444444;">differently</span></span><span style="color: #444444;">?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);"><a href="https://payhip.com/b/mUZuk" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">VIST THE SHOP: Try our Self Care Planners and Worksheets </span></a></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><b>Here's what you can ask yourself to get a good picture of what needs a bit of TLC:</b></span></div>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;">How are you feeling lately? What's making you sad or upset, what's giving you joy or leaving you feeling uplifted? Take note of the things in life that are leaving you feeling a little off - could it be</span><a href="http://365pofw.blogspot.co.uk/2017/02/pofw10.html#more" target="_blank"> <span style="color: #d9d2e9;">a toxic relationship or a friend</span></a><span style="color: #444444;"> who's become an energy vampire? Is there a current situation at work that's bothering you? Maybe your hormones are a bit out of whack?</span></li>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;">Next turn your attention to your mental health and wellbeing, are you getting regular time to invest in yourself? Does your mood seem to be on a constant low? Do you find yourself feeling worried, anxious or obsessive about certain thing? Now make a note of what comes up. It's also worth thinking about your mind and how you want to grow because we're never to old to learn and evolve, is there a class you'd like to take or new skill you'd like to develop or a subject you'd like to learn more about? Or maybe this is the time embark on a new career? Oh and don't forget </span><a href="http://365pofw.blogspot.co.uk/2017/01/confidence-money.html#more" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">your finances</span></a><span style="color: #444444;"> too!</span></li>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;">Finally have a think about your body, and I want you to do this in a positive manner. Is there anything that's been niggling you lately like aches or pains? Have you had a recent smear test or well woman check up? How does your skin look and feel? How does your body move? Are nourishing your body with what it needs or overindulging in things that your body doesn't like? Don't forget to consider things like hydration and water intake and getting enough sleep!</span></li>
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<b><span style="color: #444444;">Ok, so now you've reflected on what's going on with you and pinpointed all the things you'd like to give a little refresh, its time to go to work!</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;">First of all think about any thing you might need to help you spring clean yourself - you wouldn't go to work on your home without the right tools or products right?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;">- Do you need new fitness gear or work out clothes?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;">- Can you invest in a self help book or download some new mediations?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;">- What about picking out some new seasonal work wear?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;">- How about getting yourself a water bottle with a built in filter?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;">It's also good to think through anything you might need to start spring cleaning on yourself and go out get it, and it doesn't have to cost you money, think about how you can borrow or get preloved too.</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;">So, now its time to take action, however I can guarantee you that you will be much more successful if you have a little plan in place to keep you motivated and on track, and I have to confess I do this for spring cleaning my house too!!</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;">Are you a visual person who like to write things down and map things out with pen and paper? Then I have the perfect thing for you to plan your complete seasonal overhaul </span><a href="http:/https://payhip.com/b/mUZukhere."><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span><span style="color: #444444;">.</span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;">When making your spring clean plan think about what you're going to do to refresh yourself — are you going to find out about local classes? Try a new hair colour or </span><a href="http://365pofw.blogspot.co.uk/2016/08/pearls-of-wisdom-number-6-make-morning.html#more" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span>morning routin</span><span>e</span></span></a><span style="color: #444444;">? Maybe you need to make a Dr's appointment to review a treatment plan or get your blood tested? Maybe it's asking someone to help out with your workload or childcare? Or it could be as simple as trying out some new dinner recipes or a new route to work.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444;">W</span><span style="color: #444444;">hatever you decide be brave and don't be scared to shake things up a bit in life — remember this is the season to rebirth yourself, your ideas, dreams and wellbeing!</span></div>
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<br />Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-68410378213043772142024-03-13T05:30:00.001+00:002024-03-13T05:30:00.146+00:003 ways to find your tribe this spring<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQT65M1aEXR-2bomhv8ixDGi3SIX8T8c7Q2vKCET_Hwz7fgvhyphenhyphenn6UUuhlu2nLSylvq5RSxggSk3mZKCiCr5KohgKXm-r8_8kHUzMh5JV_gjCGMOrIl-E-0ht47mkP_3y7zbqYMsAbKng8k2HqkJWelBTMRRx1qsN5VKcm3wt1_UonXryqvZq4ogxJF6cI/s1436/9d32ef28-84be-4762-99a1-6e72c0f396a3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1149" data-original-width="1436" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQT65M1aEXR-2bomhv8ixDGi3SIX8T8c7Q2vKCET_Hwz7fgvhyphenhyphenn6UUuhlu2nLSylvq5RSxggSk3mZKCiCr5KohgKXm-r8_8kHUzMh5JV_gjCGMOrIl-E-0ht47mkP_3y7zbqYMsAbKng8k2HqkJWelBTMRRx1qsN5VKcm3wt1_UonXryqvZq4ogxJF6cI/w640-h512/9d32ef28-84be-4762-99a1-6e72c0f396a3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As I’ve entered into different eras of my life — career, motherhood, midlife — I’ve found that despite feeling joy and excitement about some milestones, other situations have left me feeling lost, lonely and completely isolated.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I’m guessing you’re feeling that too, which is why you’re here!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well, to help you move from alone to alive here are 3 different way for you to connect with your people and find your tribe this season so you can be fully emerged in your new community and making all kinds of plans by the summer — read on to find yours.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>1. Your Working Woman Tribe</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">If you work from home or work for/run a business by yourself, this ones for you. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I worked from home for over 10 years and although it was great for things like never having to get out of leggings or wash my hair (Hey Dry Shampoo!), and always being available for the school run and class assemblies, I did really, really miss talking to people and having someone connect with daily about work related stuff. Luckily my friend Gemma started a co-working group for local women in business or anyone who worked from home and I found a group of brilliant like-minded women who changed every for me, from there I also went on to join other local groups for women that opened up connections even more.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>What you need to do:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Start connecting with local women on social media who also lone work.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Search for local co-working groups or spaces that you can try out.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Look out for groups in your area that bring people together like Netwalking or Business Breakfast.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Find out if there are any Women in Business Groups you can join.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Check out event pages or platforms local courses, meetings or event days for your niche/area of work.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Where to look:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Instagram, Facebook and Eventbrite are all good places to start searching and connecting. Don’t forget to check out your local library for groups, events and courses and get hold of any local magazines that advertise meet-ups, activities and support.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>2. Your Mum Tribe</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">If you’re a new mum, a seasoned mum or even just thinking about being a mum this one is for you.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">You may know by now that I am a mum of 3 and each time I had them I’ve had the opportunity to connect to some other amazing mums who have picked me up when I was down and celebrated all the joyful milestones along the way. There’s nothing like having another mum in your corner when it comes to navigating the world of parenting BUT it’s not always easy to find your tribe.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>What you need to do:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Ask your health visiter or local school/nursery about local groups.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Connect with families on your street/in your neighbourhood.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Search for mums you resonate with online.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Get in touch with any school friends or co-workers who are parents too.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Find out if there are any local specialised activities like swimming or sensory.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Where to look:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Social media is a good place to start — follow local groups and events and search for activities there. Ask other people like neighbours or your health visitor if they can suggest anything. Check out your local library and school for any free groups. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I realise that the world of mum friends can be scary, we don’t always resonate with the mums we meet, everyone parents differently and other mums can be cliquey or compare their baby to yours BUT it’s worth trying out different things to find the mums you <i>can</i> connect with. There’s nothing worse than being a mum, feeling stuck at home and feeling isolated and alone. If you try a group and hate it you don’t have to go back again. If you meet a mum you like ask them to meet you for coffee or go to the local park one day. You get to pick your mum group, and I promise there will be other mums out there who are in the same boat as you, dare yourself to be brave!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>3. The Passion Project Tribe</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This could also be for anyone who has a hobby, interest or activity they do regularly and wants to connect with others who are the same, sound like you? Then keep reading.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Now I realise that many people have a passion like running, sewing or painting that they are quite happy being by their merry little selves with. But I’m guessing you're reading this because that’s not you and you want to find others who share your love for whatever it is you love! For example In the last 6 months I’ve been determined to move my body more so when I discovered a local Networking with like minded women (pictured above) I was thrilled!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>What you need to do:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Check online and local noticeboards for groups, meetings and events.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Find people online who share your passion/activity/interest to follow and connect with.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Ask a friend or family member who also shares your enthusiasm to met up and do your thing together.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Go to local and national exhibitions and conferences that are themed to your interest.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Visit any local historical or cultural museums or centres in connection with your hobbies/passions.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Search for local courses or activities to practice/learn/build on your interests and skills.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Where to look:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Social media, Eventbrite, local and national exhibition centre websites and museum websites. Higher education or adult learning websites for your area. Local magazines and noticeboards and your local library. Sports centres, village halls and local tourist information.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So there you have it, some basic ideas to get you started. Remember finding a tribe takes time, it can start with just one person and it can shift and evolve over time. You might not click with everyone you meet immediately, give it some time though and don’t take it too seriously, plus be prepared to meet people you might not want in your tribe, that’s ok too because we are all different.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Hopefully you’ll try something here and start cultivating connections in the next few months, let me know how you get on and don’t forget to share any more ideas or suggestion below.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><br /> <p></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-85769197046695706102024-03-08T06:00:00.024+00:002024-03-08T07:02:57.694+00:00The Women Who Helped Me Get Inspired...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3wIhb8jmu4T97RPjlM8QiDGXGxCVwH8bxdYYBGTPe2aEGFl6NXvDTlVUBr3H2-tyBLuK5Uu4Pfeq07KG8DkfwoICWPZDauUG7TlDdDae5I9RBp5JfEbPugLw-RPAy9c5Xf19DpH4csR9yq9JRM-Zh5Nko3wlCHLvu6o5BalHysLmo8LCZgCMQ4LmlHGA/s2210/B04A9D58-7D92-497E-967D-7CE7951B9D68.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2210" data-original-width="2210" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3wIhb8jmu4T97RPjlM8QiDGXGxCVwH8bxdYYBGTPe2aEGFl6NXvDTlVUBr3H2-tyBLuK5Uu4Pfeq07KG8DkfwoICWPZDauUG7TlDdDae5I9RBp5JfEbPugLw-RPAy9c5Xf19DpH4csR9yq9JRM-Zh5Nko3wlCHLvu6o5BalHysLmo8LCZgCMQ4LmlHGA/w320-h320/B04A9D58-7D92-497E-967D-7CE7951B9D68.jpeg" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip8KPM42VDkakv6kCtRK9-ecnAA_vwNJab5_DETXEUJxogp8E4N6Cyb7_oa1tqOJvVAzgrFgn017OSmzAo5tt6o7kb7g9kjx-aLWN7MRrNo24OYsbh75I-_2RWgP-kpPvUxzrlCFPJjojaAsVC6lHHdJcuxUwl3eIx2wQhE-1pn3pEZfCZ_vA0h1oDj9Y/s453/IMG_5221.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="453" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip8KPM42VDkakv6kCtRK9-ecnAA_vwNJab5_DETXEUJxogp8E4N6Cyb7_oa1tqOJvVAzgrFgn017OSmzAo5tt6o7kb7g9kjx-aLWN7MRrNo24OYsbh75I-_2RWgP-kpPvUxzrlCFPJjojaAsVC6lHHdJcuxUwl3eIx2wQhE-1pn3pEZfCZ_vA0h1oDj9Y/w320-h318/IMG_5221.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p style="border-color: var(--chakra-colors-content_alpha_200); border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; cursor: text; margin: 0px 0px 8px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="color: #444444;">Today is </span><a href="https://www.internationalwomensday.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">International Women's Day</span></a><span style="color: #444444;"> and the theme for 2024 is #inspireinclusion.</span></span></p><p style="border-color: var(--chakra-colors-content_alpha_200); border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; cursor: text; margin: 0px 0px 8px; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">With that in mind I want to take a moment to look back honour and remember the women who have had a profound impact on my life. From key moments of empowerment to the everyday lessons taught and learned, these incredible women have shaped who I am today. They have inspired me, challenged me, and supported me through friendships and relationships that are truly inclusive and genuine. From strong leaders to nurturing role models, these women have shown me the power and importance of female empowerment. In this post, I want to share some of experiences that have influenced my journey as a woman over the last 20 years, and celebrate the positive influence these women have had on me and how they have inspired inclusion in the world around them.</span></p><p><b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">The friends from afar</span></b></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">As someone who has moved around a lot I have collected many friends from all over the place, with even some of my most cherished friends all the way over in Canada. These are the hardest friendships to have but have also been the most treasured and impactful as these friends have introduced me to new cultures, new ideas and opinions and a new way of life. Like what it means to start again, to find who you are in a new country and adapting to foreign way of life. I also discovered what healthy friendships looked like, in the best ways and sometimes not so good ways, and how to handle myself with grace and own my mistakes when I made them.</span></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">I’ve taken these shared moments with me every time I’ve moved on to a new home, remembering what I learnt from them and integrating this into my life. Over the years we have caught up and reconnected, these friendships are like a subconscious skill, like when you learn to ride a bike, shift gears in a car or type on a key board — it may not be something you do everyday but you never forget how to. Of course I don’t see these friends every day, they are not a part of my weekly routine, we don’t always get to share our celebrations or our loses but the flame of our friendships still burns. </span></p><p><b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">The good (and the bad) bosses</span></b></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">I truly believe that when we work for a woman, we absorb so much influence that shapes how we want to show up in the world. It influences all kind of relationships around us, the ones with others, but also the ones with ourselves. Now I’m pleased to say that right now I work under a kind and understanding boss, who’s open to my ideas, encourages my growth and is compassionate when life gets tough or as I tend to do, make a bit of a fuck up! This kind of manager is something I wish for all women.</span></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">Previous to this I worked for a well known parenting website and up until my last 6 months there I was also lucky enough to have a great manager, she was no nonsense but very fair, she got that I was flakey (because I am!) but encouraged growth, ambition and saw me through some of my toughest moments as a working mother when I had several miscarriages and pre and postnatal depression, again with kindness and compassion. These women have inspired me to embrace who I am and not get hung up on my flaws, and their belief in me has had a ripple effect on what <i>I</i> believe in too. When you have women like this at work then work becomes a place where other women can feel this way about themselves too.</span></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">I’ve had some pretty shitting bosses too, and even more disappointing they were mostly women. These were the times when I experienced bullying, shaming and judgement way beyond constructive criticism. Looking back I can say it was a culture and I wonder if they experienced that from the people above them as well? When you don’t know better you can’t do better but unfortunately this behaviour towards me bred doubt, fear and anxiety — emotions and beliefs I carried around with me for years. The impact of working for a woman who constantly knocks you down can hang around for a long time, it can break a person spirit. There is a way of working with someone where you can get the best out of them and what I experienced wasn’t it. But it did shape me, it did eventually make me stronger, more determined and actually more compassionate myself to include and nurture the other women around me.</span></p><p><b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">The school gate mums</span></b></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">Ok, if you’re a mum with a primary school aged child or beyond I know you would of experienced the gossipy mums in the play ground, the cliquey mums who only want to talk to you if they really have to and the look down their nose at you mums who think they are better than you and that their child couldn’t possibly be passively aggressively bullying your child at break time. We’ve all had that unfortunate pleasure of dealing with them!</span></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">I’m talking here about my school gate mums who I have found a kindred spirit with, my twin flame mums who laugh with me at how disorganised we are, and who then remind each other if it non uniform day or if we need to bring in an empty cereal box. The mums who wait for me when they see I’m stressed at drop off or hug me in the playground when I’m crying (being a SEN mum is hard some days). Mums that help each other out with childcare and school holiday outings, mums who like to get tipsy with me (you know who you are!) when it all gets too much and mums who like to meet for coffee, walk and talk all the stresses of life away.</span></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">These women have shape my perception of motherhood and how I show up for my kids and myself daily. These are also women from all kinds of backgrounds, cultures and beliefs which makes these friendships better not only for me but my kids because they are rich with diversity. These are the women that include me when I’ve been excluded on the playground, that see my me and my kids for who we are with all our neurodiversity and have been a daily reminder of how we are all a village.</span></p><p><b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">The online tribe</span></b></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">Say what you like about social media, and a lot of it is rightfully bad, but the one good thing that’s alway been a positive in my life is the connections I’ve made with women that I would never know existed without it. I have some incredible friendships and an amazing support network just from following other women online and getting to know them. Not to mention all the women I don’t know but who’s online presence is positive, relatable, informative and of course inspiring and inclusive. There are some incredible women in out in the world doing so many important things to make it better place and I love social media for being a window in to their world. The women I know and don’t know there have given me tools to practice continuous growth, educated me on matters I didn’t understand, challenged my bias and opened my eyes up to new ideas and possibilities. </span></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">The online world can of course be tricky to navigate and women more than men are subject to trolling, abuse and being shamed. We are also bombarded with a flawless ideal of motherhood or being a successful girl boss and the worst, how perfect we should all look, achieve and acquire in our lives which is so dangerous and quite frankly exhausting to consume and keep up with. That’s why I love the online tribe I’ve curated for myself these are all women, known and unknown, who lift me, empower me and fill me joy and if I don’t feel this I don’t follow — simple as that!</span></p><p><b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">The little women in my life</span></b></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">So last but by no means least is the younger women in my life, the two that live in my home, that grew in my tummy and are looking to me to learn how to be a woman themselves in this world. These two girls have arguably inspired me the most. Everyday I’m challenged to be the best version of myself by being their mum, it’s not been an easy road for me, I really thought motherhood would come naturally and it hasn’t. A lot of my own childhood experiences are tied up in what it means to be a mother and this shapes what kind of a mother I want to be to them. It also moulds what kind of a woman I want to be in this world and constantly inspire the version I show up as for them. </span></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">Special mention is deserved for my boy too, he also informs and inspires the kind of woman I want to be and how I want him to see women himself. All 3 of my children are gifts, a cliche I know but for me this means not just the precious, special type (which of course they are) gifts of learning too, which has much meaning and influence on my life and who I am. Gift of letting go, the gift of being wrong, the gift of learning grace, the gift of being patient, the gift of embracing change and the gift of constantly evolving. As they change so do I and I love it, everyday they inspire me to show up as best I can and for me this is the true humbling reward of choosing the path of motherhood.</span></p><p><span style="color: #93769f; font-family: helvetica;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);"><a href="http://www.her-wisdom.co.uk/p/blog-page_22.html" target="_blank"><i>For more inspiring women check out: HER WISDOM Interviews</i></a></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #444444; font-family: helvetica;">I’m so very lucky to have so many women surrounding me that inspire growth, positive change and inclusivity. That empower me to always strive to be my best and others around me. That care about lifting others and teach me to keep lift others too. If I could leave you with a few words of wisdom it would this, my favourite quote from Oprah Winfrey...</span></p><p><b><i><span style="color: #444444;">“Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher!"</span></i></b></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-76667243284026149312024-02-06T10:50:00.000+00:002024-02-06T10:50:27.011+00:00HER WISDOM - Anna Dunleavy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5VMXNoboaEBkU4jvBMKOQU4pY68bUSw7LxpQSTASm9MgmGsYlczffY35FDlv8kAG5ELvcQT75d9DjwPrV12Prwye0AOjYVJzhf3ZsSgxwOrAPnDq0DLHAvI4oSnWDixzp02LCHHr1NGgVvyPQa6aswCJBFXnJjz3BV_FD1lDGbVu5UmmjUp402vZs6YQ/s6016/AnnaDunleavyNottinghamSelfBeliefCoachPhotographerBrandPhotosAisteSaulytePhotography-347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4016" data-original-width="6016" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5VMXNoboaEBkU4jvBMKOQU4pY68bUSw7LxpQSTASm9MgmGsYlczffY35FDlv8kAG5ELvcQT75d9DjwPrV12Prwye0AOjYVJzhf3ZsSgxwOrAPnDq0DLHAvI4oSnWDixzp02LCHHr1NGgVvyPQa6aswCJBFXnJjz3BV_FD1lDGbVu5UmmjUp402vZs6YQ/w640-h428/AnnaDunleavyNottinghamSelfBeliefCoachPhotographerBrandPhotosAisteSaulytePhotography-347.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">This month Anna Dunleavy joins in on the HER WISDOM series, she is a photographer and coach originally from Poland but has found her feet here in the UK and is following her passions and crafting out a meaningful career for herself.</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Anna shares with us how she stays grounded in difficult times, her comfort TV show and how women inspire her to follow her dreams. So now, on to the interview...</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>How do you begin your day? What are the things you do to get started?</b></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I usually start my day with a shower and a cup of coffee. There’s no set routine as such, but I tend to have breakfast with my husband, and start slow, before heading upstairs to my little office around 10am. Once a week, I’ll start my day with a wild dip, and it’s a great way to wake up and spend some time in nature before the day really gets going. In lockdown, I used to spend time journaling each morning, and it was a nice way to ease myself into the day.</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>Share your favourite piece of wisdom and why it means something to you.</b></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">This too shall pass. When we’re going through a difficult time, those words can be comforting. Knowing that everything is constantly changing, and nothing truly remains the same. As in nature, we go through cycles; we ebb and flow just like the tide. At the same time, these words also remind us to live in the moment - nothing is permanent, so it’s important that we pay attention, and stay present.</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>What is your go-to thing when it all gets too much?</b></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I usually turn to old TV series or movies, you know, the ones you’ve seen multiple times. There’s a real comfort in knowing the familiar story, and what’s about to happen. Gilmore Girls is often my go to. If I’ve had a stressful day, a walk always helps. I don’t always feel like it, but I know I’ll feel so much better after stomping it out for a little while. Fresh air and nature are a powerful combination!</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>Who are the women that inspire you?</b></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I always look up to women who go out there and do what they love - whatever that might be. You can tell when someone is really passionate about something, and that’s hugely inspiring to me. I grew up thinking that a job was just a job, and whilst sometimes that’s true, my eye is always drawn to those pursuing things that light them up.</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity? </b> </p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">This is a tricky question! The topic of identity has been on my mind a lot lately, but I’m not sure I’ve arrived at any conclusions yet. I’ve been reconnecting with my Polish roots, and last summer, I visited my home town for the first time in years. So I guess you could say that my roots make up my sense of identity. I think I’d call myself an observer, and my move to the UK definitely contributed to that. Perhaps it’s no wonder that I ended up doing two jobs that require me to observe, and really see people - both through photography, and coaching.</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>If you could spend 5 mins with your younger self what would you tell her?</b></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I’d tell her not to worry so much about what other people think. I think I missed out on experiences and opportunities because I was worried about how I might be perceived by others, and what they might say. I’d tell my younger self that life is short, and to live it fully. People will always have an opinion, so don’t let this stop you from having fun.</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>What does confidence mean to you, what builds yours? </b></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Confidence, to me, isn’t loud or overly external. It’s a quiet, grounded knowing that you’ve got your own back. You feel steady, centred, surefooted. It’s the feeling that you can support yourself no matter what comes your way. </p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Taking action definitely helps me to build confidence - the more I do something, the easier it gets. But I also think that looking after our wellbeing is crucial, too. For me, time spent alone, being out in nature, finding ways to ground myself through gentle movement, are all ways that help me build quiet confidence. When I’m stressed or stretched too thing, that’s often when this sense of feeling grounded disappears.</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>What's challenging you right now?</b></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I recently started a part time Masters in Applied Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology. Juggling this alongside full time work is a struggle at times, but I’m enjoying the course so far, and love the stretchy challenge it provides. My background isn’t in psychology, but it’s an area I’ve always been interested in, so it feels good to finally dive a little deeper!</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>Tell us more about your latest or next project.</b></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I guess you could call it a project of sorts: my Substack newsletter. I’ve recently set myself a goal to write at least once a week, with the caveat that I get to decide if I want to publish it or not. It’s a little labour of love, and I’m excited to see where it takes me. I always encourage my clients to follow their threads of curiosity, and this was mine!</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Connect with Anna on Instagram, Substack and her website below:</p><p style="color: #353535; font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">IG: </span><a class="gmail_plusreply" id="m_-3848157905101181743plusReplyChip-0" style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">@anna_dunleavy</a></span></p><div style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.annadunleavy.com&source=gmail&ust=1707301317440000&usg=AOvVaw18u2CS2Q_HZa8MBUvGmBBd" href="http://www.annadunleavy.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #444444;">www.annadunleavy.com</span></a></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://annadunleavy.substack.com&source=gmail&ust=1707301317440000&usg=AOvVaw2PokMlLO3Zy6oB6cJg0iKH" href="https://annadunleavy.substack.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #444444;">https://annadunleavy.substack.<wbr></wbr>com</span></a></div>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-13038083597161031102024-01-23T08:00:00.001+00:002024-01-23T08:00:00.248+00:00How I stopped abandoning myself for others<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGyiNl0GiDgw2t7Oh_VsMALie8KxJR6oAPIskI5pF0SQJ_BooUBFzxaxvsF1HJ-gvXi_2DceIz0aw73iDathkn9y3NxD-O7ZVRfrQBR24YolynRDDMj6gWlA4QALGSE-QyqgSz8yczBSsz0wt6qpyGBUZ4nN6VnxZAUwBIypGzA9oPQ6lo-G_znBQzOfY/s6016/365%20Pearls%20of%20Wisdom-55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4016" data-original-width="6016" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGyiNl0GiDgw2t7Oh_VsMALie8KxJR6oAPIskI5pF0SQJ_BooUBFzxaxvsF1HJ-gvXi_2DceIz0aw73iDathkn9y3NxD-O7ZVRfrQBR24YolynRDDMj6gWlA4QALGSE-QyqgSz8yczBSsz0wt6qpyGBUZ4nN6VnxZAUwBIypGzA9oPQ6lo-G_znBQzOfY/w640-h428/365%20Pearls%20of%20Wisdom-55.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>I feel like this is a conversation I’ve had a on repeat lately and every time I talk about this topic, the person I’m chatting with shares their own tale of self abandonment, mainly stemming from a difficult childhood, so it seems like a lot of us are really feeling this struggle.</p><p>If you’re a regular reader here — and by that I mean you regularly read when I randomly and sporadically post — you’ll know I’m in my mid-forties, and although I’ve known in a tiny corner of my mind that abandonment, and consequently, fear of rejection was an issue for me, I’ve only really chipped away at tiny portions of it, and most of my adult life I’ve abandoned the idea of delving too deeply in — oh the irony!</p><p>Last year though I had some counselling due to my brother suddenly dying earlier on the year and it’s really lifted off the lid of some deep issues. All at once I was confronted with some really big feelings and with that I was able to identify some trigger words that were controlling how I thought and how I behaved, ultimately this was showing up in every corner of my life, so no wonder everything felt like such struggle.</p><p>Having someone to talk to who has spent years study psychology and human behaviour but is completely impartial to your life is incredible because their neutrality allows you to safely visit the sides of you that lay in the shadows. My counsellor was very softly spoken, patient and so compassionate but she also, in the most gentle and caring way, pushed me to go beyond what I thought my feelings were at face value.</p><p>As our sessions unfold these key words kept coming back — shame, rejection, failure — and honestly they have been ruling my life. You know when at the start of each new year we’re all encouraged by social media to pick our word of the year, one that will inspire and motivate us to live out those 365 days to our best ability? Well these are the anti word of the year, these are the intention executors, these 3 words were the heavy stone around my neck, weighing me down, causing me to continually drown in my own low self worth.</p><p>Now counselling certainly helped me to identify these words/feelings as my biggest blocks, it helped me name and acknowledge them, plus my counsellor was good and she talked me through and supported me to explore some strategies that could start to change how I dealt with them when they came up in my life BUT it was me that had to do the hard work of showing up, confronting them and putting in the practice of continuing this work daily. </p><p>I have to say it was easy actually to face my feelings when I was sat in the chair talking, what was harder was unpacking what was said, what I discovered after the session ended. It was also hard to actually do something about it, to change the decisions I made, adjust my behaviour, set boundaries with others and myself and take accountability for all this.</p><p>I had all this new information and insight, I had strategies and because I spoke with a few trusted others about it all, I had some really lovely core support from loved ones. So what was I going to do about it all? </p><p>Honestly there is not a simple answer here, there’s no 3 step plan or a to-do list because the situations that bring up shame, rejection and failure catch off guard and will continue to be present in life forever and a day. But I did know that I wanted to do things differently, and more important I was ready and don’t think I had truly been before. I also came to realise and actually believed that I deserve better. </p><p>A pivotal moment came when something in life dramatically went wrong when I was about 4 weeks in to my counselling sessions. I played a key role in the disaster and instantly my old negative behaviour resurfaced and I fell apart. My self worth was on the floor, I couldn’t function properly and it was impacting me daily. The key moment came when I acknowledge that I could bear to look in the mirror at myself because I felt so much shame, I convinced myself that I was a failure and thought everyone would reject me. But something inside me said why? Why are these things true?</p><p>In that moment I forced myself to say out load what I felt and questioned whether they were real. I also felt so much anger at myself because I had ruined the nice week I had planned for myself and then I started question that too. You see the shame, rejection and failure I was projecting on to myself said you are not worthy of feeling good about yourself, you are not worthy of enjoying yourself, you are not worthy of happiness and joy, you are bad, wrong and useless, you mess up, you get things wrong and now you must suffer for it.</p><p>I let myself feel all of that, I said it out load, in fact I said to someone else that I loved, that I thought would judge me too and it felt scary to be that open and raw. It was intense. But doing this helped me to do a few really important things, when I picked this apart I discovered that firstly, two things can be true at once - I can mess up, like we all do, and still be worth of joy, love and compassion. This may sound strange but it felt hard to accept at first but I kept pushing myself to acknowledge and believe it. Secondly it helped give me perspective, and I have to say that this came from talking to someone else. One night when I was still in the first few days of struggling my husband calmly said that it was ok, it was ok if all the worst case scenarios came true, it was ok if I was wrong, if people judged me and disliked me, it was if life fell apart and I lost everything, we would managed, I would manage, I would be ok because I had could figure it out, there was always a new path to walk down.</p><p>At first I didn’t really believe him, but he kept reply with the same message, it would be ok, I can figure this out, he would still support me. I realise then that I had never, ever had anyone in my life say to me it’s ok to mess up, its ok to get things wrong, I will still be here for you. And then I cried hard, I cried deeply, for the me now and for the me of the past and a big shadow lifted.</p><p>Now I understand that having a kind and caring person to get me through it was something I was very lucky to have. But still it wasn’t easy to believe those new truths, I had to work hard to reinforce them and only I could do that. I know too that if we all look closely we <i>can</i> find that person for ourselves, we just have to be brave enough to reach out. </p><p>What I did figure out though, all by myself, is that getting things wrong, failing at something, being let down by others or not being chosen, isn’t something that has to define you. Shit happen’s in life and it is awful sometimes but at some point I learnt that I was a less worthy person because of it. I learnt to associate failure and rejection with shame and I let it define me, how I showed up in my day to day and what I believed about myself. Those beliefs caused me to abandon who I was, especially when it came to other peoples influences in my life, it shaped my world and had been dictating my path for as long as I can remember.</p><p>It really was a lightbulb moment to see my behaviour for what it was, it blows my mind to understand it all now. Its still a working progress though Christmas and New Year have given me plenty of opportunities to slip back in to my old behaviour patterns. I’ve had to work hard to dismantle the shame and not default to this feeling but I can tell you its working, I am being much easier on myself and I can see the progress I’m making by my choices and actions. </p><p>My faults and mess ups don’t define me, I can be shit and still have fun (as long as I’m not hurting anyone or breaking the law right?). I actually feel so much liberation at times, I do slip a little into old ways and I’m sure some major things will come up that will really make me wobbly but by even just writing this all down here I can remind myself that my shadow self is no longer in control, that I don’t have to abandon all that’s wonderful about me when life gets tough.</p><p>You may also like to read the post <a href="http://www.her-wisdom.co.uk/2022/03/navigating-past-and-managing-regrets.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Navigating the Past and Managing Regrets</span></a>.</p><p>Photo: <a href="https://www.byemmajane.co.uk" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">By Emma Jane </span></a></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-1416877507219326522024-01-16T11:35:00.003+00:002024-01-16T12:02:13.717+00:00The Art of Stepping Out: 3 effortless ways to move from your comfort zone<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_WQfQxRF_aVFeiZNXipSXPAAQinfNHS7xT5r6GZmqZiLBwjkMwpHI1LyVbcMW88nCgpfTDN6e3zQaKDKfarQVmWL5K0riuM1hsOJzkgjXDcJnhd7Rl9ZTpmG2reEl3xjZygEAFWdPduhY8gcE4ibjilasX-atTcfT6Ke_BWLiQA2UEK1pgsroQ4ZXr7I/s7168/david-hofmann-XmD4gx8jsXE-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4784" data-original-width="7168" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_WQfQxRF_aVFeiZNXipSXPAAQinfNHS7xT5r6GZmqZiLBwjkMwpHI1LyVbcMW88nCgpfTDN6e3zQaKDKfarQVmWL5K0riuM1hsOJzkgjXDcJnhd7Rl9ZTpmG2reEl3xjZygEAFWdPduhY8gcE4ibjilasX-atTcfT6Ke_BWLiQA2UEK1pgsroQ4ZXr7I/w640-h428/david-hofmann-XmD4gx8jsXE-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>You can decide to do something new or different at any time, any place, any where. For instance you don’t have to wait to the 1st of January to start a new habit and you don’t have to get a university degree when you’re young, you can choose to do anything when<i> you</i> <i>feel </i>ready BUT, it’s not the decision to do something that’s actually the hardest part, more often it’s the doing, the action, because that requires most people to step away from what feels familiar and make a change and that can be scary. </p><p>Our comfort zone keeps us safe, often it helps us to be organised, stay in a routine and helps us to predict what will happen in most situations. It’s cosy, we know who we are, and we can be that person, feel good about ourselves and expect others to see us in a positive light too. That comfort zone represents what feels achievable, protecting us from mistakes or being wrong, it even keeps us from danger, helping us to weigh up risks and take the road more travelled, because it’s easy there isn’t it?</p><p>However, what if you decide you want something different, to be someone different or do something different? You have to step away from what you know, that familiar feeling that makes what you do and how you show up so easy and comfortable, you have to let that go and start to trust that what you do instead will turn out ok AND even harder, you have to prepare yourself in case it doesn’t...</p><p>That feels hard, right? That feels overwhelming...</p><p>I’ve found that getting out of your comfort zone is mostly about getting out of your own way but in a world where we are constantly on show it’s hard to not catastrophise before you even take the first step. The funny thing though about comfort zones is once you are out of them it’s often ok, in fact a lot of the time your life becomes even better.</p><p>So how exactly can we make that first step, and let’s be honest the hardest one, easier to take?</p><p>Well, here are 3 simple, effortless ways to try...</p><p>Ok, I’m going with the easiest one first, start small by making little changes to your day. Eat something different for breakfast, go to work a different way, try a new lipstick or hairstyle. Read a book instead watching tv, take a bath instead of a show, try a different brand of toothpaste, shop at a different supermarket or learn something about a new to you subject. If even any of this feels hard then just write a list of all the small changes you could make in your day and start with just one simple difference. Tell yourself you only have to try it once or for a few seconds, you can always revert back if you want.</p><p>Once you start challenging yourself to make little adjustments in your day, it will become familiar, your trust muscle will build and so will your confidence to handle change and try something much bigger.</p><p><span>Another simple way to support yourself to step out of your comfort zone is through self efficacy. This means to believe in your ability to do the things you want to do, to succeed in a task or action. The best way to build self efficacy is to remember or write down, as this helps even more, a memory of when you did something that felt hard or new as a reminder of what you are capable of.</span><br /></p><p>Here’s an example, when our eldest daughter was 3 we visited Muskoka for a few days with our friends while on a visit to Canada. The weather was ok, not too chilly but not baking hot either but my friend and some of her cousins decided to jump in the lake. After watching all the adults do it our 3yo decided it looked like fun and wanted to do it too. I wasn’t sure, we told her the water would be cold but she was determined. My friend jumped in first so she could catch her as our daughter couldn’t yet swim. Then our daughter, in her pink and orange frilly swim suit, took a few steps back to the end of the wooden jetty, she was nervous but excited as we counted down but she ran with all her might and jumped as high as her little body could take her, splashing down into the lake where my friend scooped her up and everyone gave her a victory cheer! She was so flipping proud of herself and instantly wanted to do it again! It was an incredible moment when all the adults were in awe of this small girl doing something so brave - I know I could never do it! </p><p>There is a point to me telling you this story though, this moment in her life became a bench mark for self efficacy, as she got older and faced hard or nerve wracking situations through school, hobbies and life situations I would remind her of the time she jumped in the lake when we visited Canada and reaffirm to her that she could do hard things, she could attempt and master new skills and navigate and even enjoy new experiences. Having a story that reminds you of when you stepped out your comfort zone in the past is so powerful in helping you to do it again. And if you don’t have one or can’t think of anything go small again, write down or make a list of micro moments in your day of when you attempt something new or different, go back to the suggestion above, try a new brand of cereal and then keep track of all times it felt ok or turned out fine in the end.</p><p>Finally remind yourself of your why (you can make a note of this too!), everyday think about what is compelling you to do or try something new or different. Allow this to be the focus, because it’s easy to get caught up in the nitty gritty of change, the what ifs or maybes, but if you have a clear solid why to come back to it grounds you in your purpose and propels you forward out of that comfort zone. </p><p>Here are few quick and fun ways to remember your why:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Vision board it</li><li>Journal about it</li><li>Share it with a friend</li></ul><div>And lastly one of my favourite sayings says it all — nothing changes, if nothing changes — stepping out of your comfort zone is often a catalyst to discovery, which often comes from dissatisfaction and wanting to know if something could feel or be different from what you are experiencing in your life right now. Remember it’s you that’s often in your own way, imagine what could be waiting for you if you just stepped slightly to one side? </div><div><br /></div><div>You may also like to read my posts of why you can’t please everyone and why you shouldn’t <a href="http://www.her-wisdom.co.uk/2020/07/why-you-cant-please-everyone-and-why.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span></a>. Especially if stepping out of your comfort zone is hindered by thoughts of what others will think. </div><div><br /></div><div>So let's round it up — change something small in your everyday, remind yourself of when you achieved something hard in the past, remember your why — now, let’s get you moving! </div><div><br /></div><div>Photo by<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"> <a href="https://unsplash.com/@davidhofmann?utm_content=creditCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">David Hofmann</span></a></span> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/silhouette-of-woman-dancing-ballet-XmD4gx8jsXE?utm_content=creditCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Unsplash</span></a></div><p></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-7597810412265910262023-12-21T14:19:00.004+00:002023-12-21T14:19:30.567+00:005 Women share their wisdom to end the year on...<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_E-t7Vfx_y-TGJMnFG-4-3SActy_zmdj0j5ViblJx7wkRSu2Hzv8kq2-N0NhDYeHJ1FMJHvWhiSPl-0dUSVhDA_31Y97VWCnNYEiqkFSGZF3c8wdrXyPdaim8_C8xEzGNM2jqD7tNf7kxUz2B4InxSs1ODHzz5DsRd3MXSA4kWqNuP-SsS3ugfM_iMpA/s4496/tim-gouw-jp2g4xXl5QQ-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4496" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_E-t7Vfx_y-TGJMnFG-4-3SActy_zmdj0j5ViblJx7wkRSu2Hzv8kq2-N0NhDYeHJ1FMJHvWhiSPl-0dUSVhDA_31Y97VWCnNYEiqkFSGZF3c8wdrXyPdaim8_C8xEzGNM2jqD7tNf7kxUz2B4InxSs1ODHzz5DsRd3MXSA4kWqNuP-SsS3ugfM_iMpA/w640-h428/tim-gouw-jp2g4xXl5QQ-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>December is here again, and as the year comes to a close, it's the perfect time to reflect on the lessons we have learned over the past 12 months. In this post I speak with five incredible women from my co-working group and asked them to share some small pieces of advice from lessons that have had a big impact on them this year, to help us end the 2023 on a strong note. </p><p>Each one of them generously offered some valuable insights that can inspire and guide us all as we say farewell to an old year and enter a new one. So, grab a cup of tea, cozy up by the fire, and let these incredible women share their wisdom with you.</p><p><b>“When it all gets too much, place your hand on your heart and feel gratitude for life...”</b></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/vanda_szabo_photography/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Vanda Szabo - Branding Photographer</span></a></p><p><b>“Knowing your values is key, if it’s not aligned, why are you doing?”</b></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/sophieward_wellness/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Sophie Ward - Emotional Wellness Coach </span></a></p><p><b>“Your happiness is your own responsibility so take the time to create own joy" </b></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/gemthemindfullivingcoach/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Gemma Guscott - Spiritual Life Coach</span></a></p><p><b>“Taking time think about what’s really important and meaningful to me has changed how I’m approaching life, it’s giving me space to be more authentic to myself.”</b></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pbjpublishingltd/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Jess Ronan - Publisher</span></a></p><p><b>“When life gets busy don’t give up on the things that matter, take micro moments to keep going, habit stacking is key to your wellbeing!” </b></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/rjfitnessandcoaching/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Rachel Nichols - Women’s Outdoor Coach</span></a></p><p>And as for myself, well this post represents a big part of what has been key to my wellbeing this year — connecting to others. Creating a community of people around you, that you can share your hopes and dreams with, and your fears and grief, is something that can up level your life to that next great step you want to take. </p><p>Feeling alone or isolated is not something anyone should have to endure, and you don’t have to. My wisdom to you to end this year is to go out there and keep connecting to world around you because you never know what you might discover.</p><p>So now all that’s left to say is that I wish you a peaceful Christmas and a restful New Year...</p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-3970362171048791272023-11-16T14:19:00.012+00:002024-03-09T16:47:51.951+00:00HER WISDOM - Jenna Folarin <div><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-7944a7b2-7fff-6d62-1655-e53ac0d86432"><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3N3sEkohwecPcjleFQqcD1h9P_8qtFcZ8TctIgxbieBm4SoJJ4N4fKEtSgj6XkoHCM-EpKNb1JTWOHdQkNdzWKc6m-q4_ASsQGLPjR0Ml6IMt0Gvr-qDMbKkE9m5c_VIKRAOLoHAPnE_xiJDMh5KlUO3YV8NiZmGtF_XAb-nTV9WJ41V4XJT5LtPNo0/s1080/Jenna%20Profile%20Pic%201.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3N3sEkohwecPcjleFQqcD1h9P_8qtFcZ8TctIgxbieBm4SoJJ4N4fKEtSgj6XkoHCM-EpKNb1JTWOHdQkNdzWKc6m-q4_ASsQGLPjR0Ml6IMt0Gvr-qDMbKkE9m5c_VIKRAOLoHAPnE_xiJDMh5KlUO3YV8NiZmGtF_XAb-nTV9WJ41V4XJT5LtPNo0/s16000/Jenna%20Profile%20Pic%201.png" /></a></div><span style="color: #444444;"></span><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #444444;">Jenna Folarin is this weeks HER WISDOM guest and in her interview she shares so many scenarios that we can all relate to. Jenna shares her passions, how her morning routines is designed to nourish her own needs while doing her thing as a mum and how she has found ways to get in touch with her true self again on her journey as a mother and coach. Sit back and enjoy her wisdom...</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>How do you begin your day? What are the things you do to get started in the morning?</b></span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m a mum of three, my kids are 9, 6 and 18 months and to be honest, the mornings are pretty overwhelming! I’m usually operating on not much sleep (my youngest is not the best sleeper!) and just trying to get everyone up, ready and out of the door for the school run.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Saying that, my non-negotiables in the morning are: having a shower as soon as I get up, so I feel ready for the day, having a cuppa and breakfast. They might seem like small things but they are my way of not forgetting about my own needs too as a mum. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I usually put on a playlist, podcast or audiobook while I’m getting breakfast ready and ironing the school uniform and I feel like that makes a difference to my mood.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If I’ve got more help in the morning and my husband is working from home, I take a bit of time to do some meditation on the Calm app, do some crochet, read a few pages of a book or I journal with some oracle cards too.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know that when I do have that extra pocket of time for me in the morning, I’m happier, calmer and more able to enjoy my day. </span><span style="color: #353535; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">In an ideal world, I’d get up an hour before my kids wake up and just have some quiet time reading and journaling..maybe one day!!</span></p><div><span><span><br /></span></span></div><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="color: #353535; font-family: inherit;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">Share your </span></span><span style="color: #353535;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;">favourite</span></span><span style="color: #353535; font-family: inherit;"><span style="white-space-collapse: preserve;"> piece of wisdom and why it means something to you.</span></span></b></span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love this quote from Anais Nin:</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I read this quote, probably 5 or 6 years ago now, I realised that this was exactly how I felt - I had so many unspoken dreams inside of me and I always told myself that I couldn’t bring them to life because of money, time, fear of judgement and a whole host of other reasons. I always wanted to do something more creative, work with women and mums but I just couldn’t see how I’d be able to do that.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It got to the stage where I knew that I had to at least try and make a go of the things that I dreamed of doing, because I really wasn’t happy anymore just ticking the boxes of the things that I thought I should be doing with my life.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The first step I took towards this was while recovering from post-natal anxiety in 2018, I decided to set up a monthly self-care group in my local community for mums to come along without their kids, and have honest chats about motherhood. I ran that for 6 months - it was then I decided that I wanted to work with mums professionally, because of the feeling I got when I was running those groups. I felt like, OK, this, this is what I’m meant to be doing!! So I retrained as a Coach and now I’m a Coach for Mums.</span></p><br /><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>What is your go-to thing when it all gets too much?</b></span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve always been a bookworm since I was little, I’ve always found reading relaxing, it just takes me away from everything for a bit. </span><span style="color: #353535; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">I still love reading now and some of my favourite books lately have been ‘Love Untold’ by Ruth Jones (aka Nessa from Gavin and Stacey) and ‘Again Rachel’ by Marian Keyes (highly recommend the audiobook version.) </span><span style="color: #353535; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also love to crochet - I’m in the middle of crocheting a huge colourful blanket and I find it really meditative and soothing to crochet.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Oh and a nap, I love a nap and it can make everything better, especially if I’m feeling overwhelmed.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Who are the women that inspire you and why?</b></span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Firstly my mum - she inspires me because she’s so strong and independent - she’s had to completely rebuild her life since my Dad passed away unexpectedly 4 years ago and I’m just so proud of her. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mums who run their own businesses inspire me too - so really successful people like Leonie Dawson and Denise Duffield-Thomas, are hugely inspiring to me. They have been around for years in the online business world and they do things their way and show up as themselves, while having their family as their focus, around their hugely successful businesses.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Suzy Reading is a big inspiration to me - she is a Psychologist and author of multiple books around self-care. Her book ‘The Self-Care Revolution’ changed my whole perspective on what self-care was and what it could be, now that I was a mum. That book really ignited my love for self-care and has led me to where I am today working with mums too. She’s so generous in what she shares on social media too and is a really lovely person too.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And finally, I’ve been on Substack for 6 months or so and there are so many creative mums on there, writing about motherhood, running businesses around their families and doing what they love in an authentic way. I’ve made so many lovely connections over there and I find these mums so inspiring.</span></p><br /><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity? </b> </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I see myself as a mum and that is my most important role in my life, 100%. Bringing up my kids to be emotionally literate, to be OK with making mistakes and helping them to build coping mechanisms to deal with life’s challenges is so important to me.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Being a wife, daughter and friend too, these make up my sense of identity too.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My sense of identity has changed a lot since I became a mum. I found that before I became a mum, I almost hid behind the things that I thought I should do - kind of ticking the boxes of what a successful job and life looked like. But motherhood cracked me open, and forced me to become authentic. When I look back now, my post-natal anxiety diagnosis and subsequent recovery was a blessing because it helped me find my new identity. I’d lost touch with who I was, what I liked, what was important to me and what I enjoyed. Once I gave myself the time and space to work all of this out, that’s when my new identity came in, the authentic me. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My parents are part of my identity too -this is especially true since my Dad passed away 4 years ago. I think it’s only when you lose someone that you realise how much they shaped you, how much they taught you and how much of them lives on in you. It’s bittersweet really because you have this amazing appreciation for them, but you can’t tell them.</span></p><br /><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>If you could spend 5 minutes with your younger self what would you tell her?</b></span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The younger me was kind of split into 2 people - the younger me that loved all of the things that I love now - being creative, reading, writing - I liked being in my own little dreamworld really!</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then when I became a teenager, I thought that I had to change myself to be accepted - so I left all of those things behind and lost that connection with myself. I had zero self-confidence and was so worried about what people thought about me, all of the time. This carried on until my early 30’s probably.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, I’d go back to my younger self and say:</span></p><ul style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You are enough as you are - you don’t need to change yourself</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don’t look for other people’s approval, seek that internal validation, intuition and gut feeling instead</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Celebrate your uniqueness, because these things make you you</span></p></li></ul><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>What does confidence mean to you, what builds yours? </b></span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Confidence to me means following my dreams and doing the things that feel like me like coaching, my podcast, writing on Substack and running retreats for mums. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It also means being confident as a mum too, and it’s only now with my 3rd child, that I’d say I’m doing things my way. I feel like I know what I’m doing and I can choose to mother my way, which is more about trusting my instincts and setting realistic expectations of myself, with a huge dose of compassion mixed in there too. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve found that what builds my confidence is taking action - so you don’t need to feel ‘ready’ or have everything in place to take action, you just need to take the action and your confidence will grow from there. Then the more times I’ve taken action and thrown myself in the deep end, the more I have the attitude of, ‘let’s give this a go and see what happens’. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Reminding myself of times when I’ve done hard things before, what my strengths are and celebrating my achievements are also things that boost my confidence. </span></p><br /><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>What's challenging you right now?</b></span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The main thing challenging me is sleep deprivation - my youngest is a very poor sleeper (not helped by his eczema and teething), so I do find the nights hard, especially when I can’t settle him. Even the third time around, the no sleep thing, doesn’t get any easier!</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Also, I love working on my business, but having that uninterrupted time is limited to my son’s nap times, and occasional bedtimes. So I struggle with not having time to really reflect and be creative. But I know that this is just a season in my motherhood journey, and my time will come - so it’s a balance between wanting that time, but also accepting that it won’t be like this forever, and just doing what I can at the moment is enough. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The mental load of being a mum too is hard, just trying to remember everything I need to do for 3 kids can feel like too much sometimes. But then also, the more kids I’ve had, the kinder I’ve become to myself, because I’ve realised I can’t do it all because it’s literally impossible, so if I drop a few balls then that’s ok, I don’t beat myself up about it. That striving to be a perfect mum has long gone…thank god!</span></p><br /><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Tell us more about your latest or next project.</b></span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My latest project is my Mini Retreats for Mum, that I run in Cardiff every few months. The next one is on Sat 18th Nov and details are </span><a href="https://jennafolarin.co.uk/mini-retreat-for-mums/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">here</span></a><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. They are 3 hours long, held i a lovely relaxing venue and I do a blend of mindfulness, group coaching and journaling. I absolutely love running these, because there is something so special about gathering women together, each sharing their experiences and allowing them to be fully seen and heard. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also have my podcast, The Inspiring Mums Podcast, where I aim to inspire mums to make positive changes in their lives, and I also talk to inspiring mums too and share their stories. I really enjoy recording these, and getting to have honest conversations with like-minded mums.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: inherit; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also have my Substack, The Motherhood Connection, and I’m building a lovely community over there - I write weekly posts on the ups and downs of life as a mum of three, behind the scenes of my coaching business and ways in which mums can make changes in their lives too. It’s such a supportive place, and I’ve loved connecting with some wonderful creative mums over there.</span></p></span><br /><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black;" /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">Jenna Folarin is a mum of three and a Coach for Mums. Jenna is on a mission to help as many mums as possible to feel happier and to live a life that feels good to them. Jenna loves supporting mums who have unspoken dreams inside of them and who are desperate to bring them to life, but their lack of self-belief holds them back. As well as coaching, Jenna hosts The Inspiring Mums Podcast and runs Mini Retreats for Mums in Cardiff.</span><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;"><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">I've included all of my links below too:</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;"><span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"><span id="m_8778896970212407767gmail-docs-internal-guid-77ed8566-7fff-4d9b-b4f6-6dfe7b0ece48"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">Substack: </span><a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://jennafolarin.substack.com/&source=gmail&ust=1699955793336000&usg=AOvVaw0883Kx1IWNafRMT2wBQ9DP" href="https://jennafolarin.substack.com/" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">https://jennafolarin.substack.<wbr></wbr>com</span></span></a></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">The Inspiring Mums Podcast: </span><a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://jennafolarin.substack.com/podcast&source=gmail&ust=1699955793336000&usg=AOvVaw2nBjMn02RHQ-RLMkDAvqCB" href="https://jennafolarin.substack.com/podcast" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">https://jennafolarin.substack.<wbr></wbr>com/podcast</span></span></a></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">Instagram: </span><a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.instagram.com/jennafolarin/&source=gmail&ust=1699955793336000&usg=AOvVaw1BN5eexkbtOv6s1-i9DR-d" href="https://www.instagram.com/jennafolarin/" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">https://www.instagram.com/<wbr></wbr>jennafolarin</span></span></a></p><span style="color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">Website: </span><a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://jennafolarin.co.uk/&source=gmail&ust=1699955793336000&usg=AOvVaw2OXwdfYW--a5D1WycdmeXU" href="https://jennafolarin.co.uk/" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">https://jennafolarin.co.uk</span></span></a></span></span></div>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-25597026232469788172023-10-26T08:30:00.003+01:002024-03-09T16:47:20.823+00:00HER WISDOM - Mina Burden<span id="docs-internal-guid-99bb3291-7fff-62de-1598-e405b0fc591c"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #353535;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilqQUnDOPErwwgF0ub5CDf_QEhP0kzQDLh4ZX1Z0-I69eNVfaJD_yjeow5b8rLCrQJ4Pn7_8wZpGi6MSh9GJkH3jdqn1ZFNPuYMkVG-FVVz08jKI9SIjN0nV-WJRO5cxoCAwplhEY2BEH1Lu7ksKEAL7WJQiArGJk7a3d_k4qgg-0DX31abJpt3UM7Zh8/s1535/Mina%20Burden%20Her%20Wisdom.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1448" data-original-width="1535" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilqQUnDOPErwwgF0ub5CDf_QEhP0kzQDLh4ZX1Z0-I69eNVfaJD_yjeow5b8rLCrQJ4Pn7_8wZpGi6MSh9GJkH3jdqn1ZFNPuYMkVG-FVVz08jKI9SIjN0nV-WJRO5cxoCAwplhEY2BEH1Lu7ksKEAL7WJQiArGJk7a3d_k4qgg-0DX31abJpt3UM7Zh8/s16000/Mina%20Burden%20Her%20Wisdom.jpeg" /></a></span></div><span style="color: #353535; white-space: pre-wrap;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p>I’m thrilled to finally bring you a new HER WISDOM interview and this one features a woman who has taken a literal journey over the summer to completely upend her life and follow her dreams of living abroad with her family. I’m so glad to say I got to know Mina Burden a little before she made her big move to Australia, she was a part of the co-working group I go to each month and she has been so missed already! Mina is thoughtful, engaging and the biggest cheerleader, as well as being a mum of 4 and a small business owner. So with that said, on to the interview...</span><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #353535;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><b style="color: #353535; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">How do you begin your day? What are the things you do to get started in the morning?</span></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I (try) to start my day with a walk, 3-5 kilometres and if time 20/30 mins of yoga. The walk happens 70% of the time and the yoga 50. I’ve realised over the years that I often put myself last, so this sets my day off with making time for myself plus I notice it sets the tone for when I get home and get the children ready for school and it all around feels so much better for doing it. </span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-ff997d35-7fff-4e9a-5883-ff0c53668ed5"><span style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #353535; font-size: small;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Share your </span></span><span style="color: #353535;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(53, 53, 53); white-space: pre-wrap;">favourite</span></span><span style="color: #353535; font-size: small;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> piece of wisdom and why it means something to you</span></span></span></b></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">‘This too shall pass’ has been my favourite mantra since my now 12 year old was born and one I’ve held very close over the years. There will always be ups and downs, but by reminding myself of this, especially in the tougher times, has been a massive help.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #353535; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">What is your go-to thing when it all gets too much?</span></b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Yoga, it’s always yoga! For me yoga has always been more about helping my mind than my body, as an ex dancer/dance teacher, I questioned why I should start yoga. Boy was I wrong….. The amount of times it’s helped me mentally. When things get overwhelming I try and tune into my breath and take it from there. The message is often the same: ‘Start where you’re, use what you have and do what you can’.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #353535; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Who are the women that inspire you and why?</span></b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My grandmother is at the top of the list, my grandad persuaded her to move to the UK from Morocco when she had 5 small children, where he then left her to raise 6 children on her own (she had a sixth once in England) in a country where she could hardly speak the language. She is strong, resilient and a force to be reckoned with. She’s warm, caring and inspires me everyday. There are lots of other woman too, but the one I want to end with is one of my best friends who continually rides the waves, constantly going against the grain showing us that it doesn’t haven’t to be like it always is. You don’t have to run a business in the traditional sense, to listen to your body, to say yes to the things that feel good, to set better boundaries. Totally in awe of her too and am grateful every day she is a part of my life. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #353535; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">How do you see yourself and what makes up your sense of identity? </span></b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Ooo, this is a hard one…. I actually have felt pretty lost for the last few years and not sure if I’ve fully got to grips with my sense of identity since becoming a mother. I’m slowly getting it back and trying to find that question out.. I think I’ll have to get back to you next time. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #353535; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #353535; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">If you could spend 5 minutes with your younger self what would you tell her?</span></b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’d tell her to trust, trust that everything is going to be okay, trust that she is right where she needs to be, trust that you’re on exactly the right path.</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #353535; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">What does confidence mean to you, what builds yours? </span></b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Confidence to me means being so secure, mentally in your own abilities. This is a hard one at times because imposter syndrome can kick in quite a bit in my confidence. However, I’m working on it. I’ve recently started journaling and asking myself ‘is that really true’ type questions when I’m having self doubt or a lack of confidence. I also have recently started saying affirmations every morning on my daily walk. Funnily enough, since saying a certain set of affirmations on confidence and being open and available I have received 3 massive opportunities. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #353535; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">What's challenging you right now?</span></b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Getting my yoga business started properly and being consistent with it. In all honesty I wasn’t sure what I really wanted from it. It’s only been the last week that I’ve been much clearer. But now it’s making that happen. I’ve repeated certain patterns over the past that are still holding me back a little. I’m scared I’ll repeat them again, plus I have a bit of a perfectionist syndrome, so I struggle to put stuff out unless it’s how I think it should be. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #353535; font-style: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Tell us more about your latest or next project.</span></b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I spoke about my yoga business, that’s my latest project. We’ve recently (10 weeks ago) moved to Sydney from England. So it’s about finding what I want it to look like here. The more women I speak to, the more I realise they, like I spoke about in the first question, don’t put themselves first. I would love to create small retreats, rest and restore two hour type retreats, exactly for this. And then to grow into full blown weekend/week retreats exactly for the ladies that need some me time the most. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Mina is a mother of four amazing girls, who recently embarked on an exciting journey from England to the vibrant city of Sydney. She has a massive passion for movement and mindfulness and is a qualified dance and yoga teacher.</span></p><p style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Now calling Sydney home, she’s ready to embrace a new chapter and share her love of yoga with the local community. You can follow Mina’s journey on Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/minaburden/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">@minaburden </span></a></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /></p></span>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-64522318753750331882023-07-18T12:17:00.003+01:002023-07-18T12:17:35.242+01:00Failing Forward: Embracing failure as life lessons<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5tDhnGVPiuud2VkiZ37US5ZXHK2u5HjHI04vOYAbwFseW4-lYorun8jwwxGhJWuVJzP-OOPCLbiqg9dlRYmqS6U6Iv6ig6ZoQoa8Ld4DoQtywc0RX5QGuoNeadA8YyLREGU6R01NXGUroSzl5iLSy-amK3q4QCzjeSS1GQnkxkBdoRgy-EiwLsHSlJMg/s4812/the-blowup-UN4PadDppAU-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3072" data-original-width="4812" height="408" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5tDhnGVPiuud2VkiZ37US5ZXHK2u5HjHI04vOYAbwFseW4-lYorun8jwwxGhJWuVJzP-OOPCLbiqg9dlRYmqS6U6Iv6ig6ZoQoa8Ld4DoQtywc0RX5QGuoNeadA8YyLREGU6R01NXGUroSzl5iLSy-amK3q4QCzjeSS1GQnkxkBdoRgy-EiwLsHSlJMg/w640-h408/the-blowup-UN4PadDppAU-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b>Remember the last time you failed at something? </b></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b>How did it make you feel?</b></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">I’m pretty sure your answer is something between a bit rubbish to absolutely devastating! It can be crushing right? I know that feeling well because I’ve failed a fair few times myself, in fact a recently I paid A LOT of money for a course that I only completed one unit of and gave up on, so I failed the course and I failed my bank account, it was a costly failure BUT it actually worked in my favour too.</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">So failure then - can it be a good thing?</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Well, I'm here to tell you that actually, not only is it good for you, but there is so much incredibly useful information in your failure that will lead you on to bigger and better things if you’re willing to look a little more closely at what happened. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Because by changing your perspective you can learn from it. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;">You see f</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;">ailures are like little pots of gold, they bring new insight into how you can live your life, bringing you closer to being successful in whatever it is you want to achieve. Every failure you encounter can be one step towards being more wiser, focused and clear about what you want, who you are and what you life is all about. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><b>So, are you ready to embrace failure?</b></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Yes, I know it's not easy, but the good stuff in life never is! When we get things wrong or make a mistake we are often left feeling that we aren't good enough or that we are flawed and incapable of succeeding. We reinforce this thinking by playing out negative stories in our head, we run a dialogue of self doubt and unworthiness that leaves us feeling weak, often too scared to try again, or try something different. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;">We tend to put our mistakes and short comings down to our lack of ability and believe that we don't deserve any better, that the failure we have experience is the end of the story, that its final, a done deal. Then we are left feeling scared and vulnerable so we decide to bury the experience and pretend it never happen, or often as I see many people do, wallow in the sadness and misery of it all instead.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;">But I have great big juicy <b>BUT</b> to throw in here now!</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">You can change this all, right here, right now - let me talk you through it...</span></b></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #444444;">Think of something recently that you feel you failed at or was a huge mistake on your part.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Write down all the negative feelings and thoughts you have about this situation and that apply to how you feel about yourself.</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Now tear that up and toss it out, light a match to it, use it for cat litter even!</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Now I want you to sit down, take some deep breaths, if it helps put on some calming music, light a candle, snuggle in with a bowl of your favourite ice-cream — anything that relaxes you and makes you feel good.</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Pen in hand I want you to think about and write down why you think things unfolded the way they did...</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">What were the factors out of your control and how can you let them go?</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">What can you take responsibility for?</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">What would you differently next time and why?</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">What has this situation made you realise you want to feel more of?</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">What has this situation made you realise you want to feel less of?</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">And this may feel a bit of a challenge but there is one if you look hard enough — what's the silver lining in all of this?</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Now take all this information about yourself that you've just poured out of your brain and use it <b><i>positively</i></b>, either to move on peacefully to a better place or to try again.</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Last of all, to really, really let this moment of failure become a good thing for you - I want you to let it go!</span></b></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">I want you to be kind and compassionate to yourself, I want you to forgive yourself, I want you to acknowledge and maybe even accept that we all make mistakes, we are all human after all which means none of us are perfect and that mistakes and failure are inevitable and a part of life. </span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">You have the power though to flip them on their head and make them so valuable by letting yourself learn from them, pick yourself up and come back fighting!</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">I have truly learnt to embrace my mistakes, in fact I cherish them because what I get out of them is so powerful and instrumental to my success and my journey forward. I almost look forward to them, which I know sounds crazy, because I know the lessons I learn can totally empower me to be the best version of myself and shape me into the person I really want to be and I'm hoping that you can get to a place where you can feel the same!</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">Remember that any change in habit or self care/help mindset doesn't always come easy, when we are trying to create change in ourselves and our life it can take some practice so if this doesn't feel natural or achievable at first don't give up, keep trying to look at your failures as a positive, empowering guide to how you want things to be different next time — yes?! Good!</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><b>Now it's your turn to tell me something </b>— did you try this out? If so let me know, you can leave a comment here or share on your social media channels — don't forget to tag me in!</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;">I love emails too and you can reach me at herwisdom@gmail.com</span></div><div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-33960913222194028372023-07-13T14:04:00.001+01:002023-07-13T14:04:34.569+01:00Is making your bed the key to better wellbeing?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDOjyp5K99ivL1XdllNiD4he1DVvl4XjccBf0t15vUkTgmVCWHgxIphAV30xTyuCWhYQj8n68ZXS7DaW4BQrwAwWRKWw4-LePvzHMMoqo-UM3OA4GnaAtluqcsotl70X4ksL1aTFu6IfNzMmiwrnqRFOBOmitCNZOltKzyKa2cYzmnr0QgxKM9I6U8zrQ/s3917/Jaxonbed.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2938" data-original-width="3917" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDOjyp5K99ivL1XdllNiD4he1DVvl4XjccBf0t15vUkTgmVCWHgxIphAV30xTyuCWhYQj8n68ZXS7DaW4BQrwAwWRKWw4-LePvzHMMoqo-UM3OA4GnaAtluqcsotl70X4ksL1aTFu6IfNzMmiwrnqRFOBOmitCNZOltKzyKa2cYzmnr0QgxKM9I6U8zrQ/w640-h480/Jaxonbed.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><b><p><b>For as long as I could remember I didn’t make my bed - </b>not as a teen (much to my mums despair!), not as a student at college, not as young women in the world, not even as a wife and mother. I just couldn’t be bother. I also think part of it was because I still had that defiant streak in me rebelling against my mother!</p></b><p></p><p>Anyway, I can’t remember when but at some point in the last few years I decided to make a change and made making my bed a daily habit. But why though? </p><p>It’s actually quite simple, making my bed made my room — the space where I could relax and escape from the world — feel special. You see my bedroom or more specifically my bed, is the place I feel the most comfort, it’s the place where I go to cry, read, listen to meditations and snuggle with my loved ones. It’s also the place I get dressed and get ready, it symbolises my privacy as well as a space to explore who I am what I want to wear and how I want to express myself. Obviously it’s a place that I share with my husband too and our room and our bed as a couple equals intimacy, laughter and memories of newborn babies and late night films tucked up with a cup of tea.</p><p>My bed has soothed me when I felt down, its held me when I’ve felt so depressed I couldn’t get out of it. It’s also cradled me through the flu, sickness bugs and recovery of 3 c-sections. It’s where all my children, my dog and 2 cats like to sneak on to when I’m asleep or not watching and it’s been bounced on, spilt coffee on, puked on and had many a mothers day breakfast in bed on.</p><p><b>I love my bed, it’s my sanctuary.</b></p><p><b>So, does making your bed cultivate better wellbeing?</b></p><p>Well, for me the answer is yes, it definitely does. Making my bed creates a little bit of peace and calm in slither of my rather busy and chaotic home. It reminds me that there is a haven ready and waiting for me whenever I need it and gives me a sense of accomplishment whenever I pass by my bedroom door. But rather than just projecting my own experiences and basing this post solely on what makes me feel good I turned to my Instagram friends to see if they felt the same way, here’s what they told me:</p><p>Out of the followers who responded to the poll “Do you make your bed in the morning?” 75% of them responded yes, with the other 25% equally split between no and sometimes. To be honest the percentage of people making their bed regularly was much higher than I expected.</p><p>My next question was “If you answered yes, does it give you a greater sense of wellbeing?” and over 50% answered yes, 25% responded that they just like to be tidy and the rest answered with a not sure.</p><p>Now I’m not a maths whizz and I’m certainly not great with percentages but I feel like the results here are pointing towards the idea that making your bed is definitely a positive thing for better wellbeing.</p><p>To back this up even further some of my lovely Instagram follow sent me messages on exactly how it helped. One follower told me:</p><p><b>“It feels more satisfying getting into a made bed at night”</b></p><p>Another said:</p><p><b>“I think when things are neat and tidy it creates a space of calm.”</b></p><p>Finally one of them shared:</p><p><b>“It’s my first achievement of the day because usually I can’t be arsed but I always push myself to.” </b></p><p>It certainly seems then that making your bed, a small micro task that takes only a few minutes, can actually have a big impact on our wellbeing. From boosting our peace and comfort to delivering a positive sense of accomplishment making your bed could be a key habit to toping up your daily wellbeing levels. If you don’t already make your bed why not try it for a few days and see how you feel — does it make a difference to your day? </p><p>And if you already make your bed, let me know in the comments below what it does for your wellbeing!<br /></p><p><br /></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-75356277655202858352023-03-17T06:00:00.005+00:002023-03-17T06:00:00.175+00:00Wisdom and Motherhood<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaE8-smIVnjzbw-vEw6BIsuRQm8hl_ywkih9NF1sgJtIHn-zkj98DZhT_3O_3A1j8R5CroatyZor4vf1FNdfGvDiicOWdP45uJekh609pQ5PZcWVZrfFMxg5EgrcOf-DLeEPBeoWLqJqCKQlP1neO7obX1J1x5txBjwsVa3g9dQD_ltc_4utTNYJRr/s3999/markus-winkler-0nqDYVpy7ws-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2666" data-original-width="3999" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaE8-smIVnjzbw-vEw6BIsuRQm8hl_ywkih9NF1sgJtIHn-zkj98DZhT_3O_3A1j8R5CroatyZor4vf1FNdfGvDiicOWdP45uJekh609pQ5PZcWVZrfFMxg5EgrcOf-DLeEPBeoWLqJqCKQlP1neO7obX1J1x5txBjwsVa3g9dQD_ltc_4utTNYJRr/w640-h426/markus-winkler-0nqDYVpy7ws-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>Have you ever wondered how other women navigate the ups and downs of motherhood? Well, as it’s Mother’s Day in the UK this weekend I thought what better than to put together a post on mothering wisdom from the perspective of others. </p><p>Whether you're a mother, becoming a mother or simply have a mother (and of course we all do) the journey of motherhood looks different for everyone, and impacts our children and families differently too. So I asked 4 different women to share their wisdom and insights, keep reading to soak up their words on motherhood, parenting and family...</p><p><br /></p><p><span><i style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">"Motherhood is completely life changing, obviously! My experience is that being a parent has been like holding up a mirror - it’s absolutely shown me who I am warts and all, and inspired me to dig a bit deeper, work on myself. Also you should absolutely trust you gut and go with what works for you and your family - there’s so much advice/books etc and often conflicting.” </i>- Miriam, mum to two children.</span></p><p><span><br /></span></p><div dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><i style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">"Motherhood - what a transformational space. I didn't realise just how much motherhood would be a space for me to grow, transform and bloom alongside watching my daughter do the same.</i><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"><i>” </i></span></span></b></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #222222;">- Emma </span><a href="https://instagram.com/isabella_and_us?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">@isabella_and_us</span></a><span style="color: #222222;"> mum to o</span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">ne child, Isabella, who is five<b><i>.</i></b></span></div><div dir="ltr"><span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div><div dir="ltr"><span style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div><div dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"I think one of the most important things we can learn as mums is that we know what our child needs better than anyone else. We can get so caught up in what we think we ‘should’ be doing or worrying about what other people think about our decisions that we forget that we know exactly what our child needs. When we realise that we are the expert on our child and we are doing what specifically works for them - motherhood gets a whole lot easier!</span>”</i></b></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> - Beth<a href="https://www.instagram.com/bethanthomaswilliams_/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;"> @bethanthomaswilliams_</span></a> Mum to </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Jac 14, Mali 12, Anest 10 </span></div><div dir="ltr"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div dir="ltr"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div dir="ltr"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: large; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">“Motherhood is a rite of passage. It’s an initiation from Maiden to Mother. We’re postpartum for much longer than a few months or even years. We are always postpartum. </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: large; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">There can be so much pressure in our society to “bounce back”, whether that be physically losing weight, getting back into our careers or ensuring ‘nothing changes’ in our relationships. This isn’t realistic or desirable for us. Becoming a mama changes us. It *should* change us. Like all the most beautiful and heartbreaking experiences, who we are shapeshifts and evolves.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;"><span style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> We need people around us who support this so we can be our fullest, new butterfly selves for our babies.” </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">- </span></span><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34);"><span style="color: #222222;">Isabel Dexter, Writer and Coach </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/isabeldexter/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">@isabeldexter</span></a><span style="color: #222222;"> Mother of two under three.</span></span><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;"> </span></span></div><div dir="ltr"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;"><br /></span></span></div><div dir="ltr"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;"><br /></span></span></div><div dir="ltr"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222;">Now it's your turn, what does motherhood mean to you, share your wisdom in the comments...</span></span></div>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-82785606853316500142023-03-14T06:00:00.002+00:002023-06-21T11:40:23.540+01:00My Personal Midlife Wisdom<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN6hrEHl5D3OOg38J-ZfmlZ9KA9-nj1VmWyk-uVkJ2OkBm3v9sjaR69lOd--9q_-9m0ft_djPtp4dqwHrqIBwactgzk65Yn-FZcAbKcGSTkjNbWQ70hXV8NEx95FqgDlebqvVATBGaD8_GwmLB2jcLcA49w2fzlmbwcS5LaLrfpHTIuhr35ZLNfdOi/s1551/D5031658-4C26-47DA-8352-800B52DE22AD%202.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1551" data-original-width="1241" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN6hrEHl5D3OOg38J-ZfmlZ9KA9-nj1VmWyk-uVkJ2OkBm3v9sjaR69lOd--9q_-9m0ft_djPtp4dqwHrqIBwactgzk65Yn-FZcAbKcGSTkjNbWQ70hXV8NEx95FqgDlebqvVATBGaD8_GwmLB2jcLcA49w2fzlmbwcS5LaLrfpHTIuhr35ZLNfdOi/w512-h640/D5031658-4C26-47DA-8352-800B52DE22AD%202.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">Last week I was officially half way through my mid 40’s — yes, that made me 45 and half years old on Friday!</span></div></div><p></p><p>If you asked my husband what nuggets of wisdom I had to share he’d tell you not to bother asking me because, as the person who I am most honest and vulnerable with, I constantly express a lot of regret to him about my past and the decisions I’ve made in my life. But I can also be my most true authentic self with him, so he gets to hear all that and then gently nudges me forward so I can focus on the future instead.</p><p>According to the <span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/lifeexpectancies/bulletins/nationallifetablesunitedkingdom/2018to2020" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Office of National Statistic life expectancy for women is around 82 years</span></a> </span>which means I’m just over half way through my life, and well and truly established in my midlife, which feels a bit surreal to be honest because I still feel more like 35. </p><p>I remember my mum in her mid 40’s and she seemed so different to how I am now - grown up, responsible, mature. But now that I’m here I realise two things, firstly she certainly <i>did not</i> have all her shit together and was incredibly irresponsible in some aspects of her life. Secondly, my life looks completely different to hers in my 40’s because the world is so different now. Healthcare, technology, politics, culture, even motherhood, all different and therefore navigating <i>my</i> journey through this decade is too.</p><p>So where has midlife taken me so far then? Well, let’s dive in...</p><p>Now before we get started it’s important to remember that everyones life story is also different, we all experience different choices and opportunities as we grow older and we all have various family histories that will impact on who we are and what we believe — this is my truth.</p><p>Now when I turned 30 I was a hot mess (you can’t ask my husband about that though because he didn’t know me then!) I was with a younger guy who, quite frankly, was a waste of my time but I clung on to the relationship because I thought that if wasn’t married, pregnant and a home owner by 31 I had failed in life and would never achieve anything... I know, imagine telling our young women now that the definition of success is being married with babies by 30 - yuck! So in a nutshell turning 30 was miserable BUT my 30’s were great and my life transformed. </p><p>Then 40 started to approach, and although I was very aware of the situation the build up was different. I felt full of motivation, creativity and hope. I was a mum of two girls and trying for another baby, felt good in my career and we were on the property ladder, enjoying life. In fact turning 40 was amazing, my husband surprised me with a trip to Seattle and we had the best time away without the girls, exploring a part of the US that we wanted to do together.</p><p>I came out of that birthday feeling like a strong, healthy woman with so much potential and really comfortable and confident in myself and who I was at the core.</p><p>Now comes the next 5 years...</p><p><b>Another baby, and let me tell you having a baby in your forties is no joke. </b></p><p>I honestly never anticipated how hard it would be physically and mentally. I experienced the postnatal period and peri-menopause all at the same time, which was crazy. My body was all over the place but I’ve come to realise now how important it is to look after it. For me being 40 means building physical strength, treating my body with kindness, being patient with it and not abusing it, which also means sorting out my binge eating tendencies and healing my emotions. 3 kids also means being more organised than I ever have been before, which doesn’t come easy to me! My middle one is neurodiverse and through supporting her to organise herself and lessen distractions I’ve been able to figure out some systems for myself, including delegation to others, getting enough sleep and using tools like a <a href="https://payhip.com/b/APgp5" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">daily planner</span></a> and a <a href="https://payhip.com/b/kOX7U" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">colour coded task list.</span></a></p><p><b>Then a world in isolation.</b></p><p>I was 42 and a half when Covid 19 shut down everything we knew and took for granted and after two years of loving my 40’s the world stopped and so did my life (and of course so did everyone else). I felt this really weird grief for my former self, I went from the world is my oyster to isolated homeschooling mum, binging on wine and ice cream and feeling completely lost and hopeless. It sounds quite sad I know and I did feel that way for such a long time but here's what that time taught me. Nothing lasts forever, even shitty, stressful things that are forced on to you. Life keeps changing and therefore so do your circumstances so keep putting one foot in front of the other and talk the hard things through with the people around you, even if you can’t do that face to face. Because those times will also reveal the true people in your life t—at get you, so look out for them, invest in those relationships.</p><p><b>Money isn’t everything but it sure helps! </b></p><p>You know that saying saving for a rainy day? Well, I never did, and I’m paying the price for it now. Throughout my 45 years no one ever really showed me how to take care of my finances or tell me why it’s important that I should. Now in my mid forties I’m finally learning this because we’re in the middle of a cost of living crisis and it feels overwhelming. When I was younger money was just something to pay the bills and buy new clothes with, and although I’m proud that we’ve worked hard to buy a house I’m disappointed in myself with the lack of financial stability I have created for myself as a woman. So these last few years I’ve started to educate myself on this, social media has been really helpful road map in finding financially savvy women I can learn from and moving forward I’ve learnt how vital it will be to pass this wisdom down to my kids.</p><p><b>From support worker to librarian.</b></p><p>I worked as a support worker for a parenting website for 10 years and when I started I was very proud of my job and what it stood for. I had some amazing opportunities to develop my career, met some really inspiring women and did something I whole heartedly believed in. Circumstances changed though, and I guess I did too, one of the biggest things I’ve learnt in my career over the last 10 years is to not let fear or convenience hold you back from jumping into something new. I should of made that jump a long time ago, fortunately I had people around me to support me when I eventually did and I took my time to figure out what was next. Now I’m surrounded by books all day, I have a great manager who whole heartedly supports me to work around my family and I’m developing new skills and potential again, showing me (and hopefully you) that it’s never actually too late to make that jump.</p><p><b>Coming home to my authentic self<br /></b></p><p>So this is something that I’ve only just started to get to grips with. I knew for a while I needed something but I didn’t know what that was. As I came out of the lockdown bubble I messed about with all kinds of ideas to find myself. One was an online course in counselling that I loved but didn’t really have the time or mindset to do, which was a huge financial mistake too and left me feel pretty deflated and a completed failure. Then I started listening to a podcast called<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(217, 210, 233);"> <a href="https://tobemagnetic.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">To Be Magnetic</span></a></span></span><a href="https://tobemagnetic.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;"> </span></a>and I found something that resonated. I signed up for their neural manifestation membership the day I quit my job and haven’t looked back (SIDE NOTE: this is not an advert, I just really fucking love this programme and how it’s changed my life). Having the tools to tap into your authenticity, be honest with yourself, face your demons and stand in your true power has become so empowering. And although I do wonder if I could have done this before, I think being forty has actually helped me to look at some of the difficult things in my life that I may not have been able to before. Finding the right tool has been the key, and being brave enough to try things out and say not for me if it doesn’t work.</p><p>So it all adds up to this, loving my body, nurturing the relationships that matter, investing in my financial as well as my personal wellbeing, embracing change rather than fearing it and connecting to authenticity in every corner of my life has been the foundation of my forties so far and I can’t wait to see what the next 5 years hold! </p><p><br /></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-90995161206487038582023-03-06T11:36:00.003+00:002023-03-06T11:36:51.135+00:00Getting Started<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhowlXGGR0XsYg3MbWpjEPhnTviPzwJMYlqaCR9-MnRL6-Ut6wXUBp9dvzF0XF_d9iW6bB9KqHXc62I8l9IpS4b03EDLctmazE7EQR9Tr9P0l7W9SwoP9xlD-yaQpUbfgt746S8rHuAVY0CFzKn_Qi2NwSc8aqN5ttT1aYo9H1JGUvU6l1WmpRTuwD1/s2245/Marilu%20henner.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1587" data-original-width="2245" height="452" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhowlXGGR0XsYg3MbWpjEPhnTviPzwJMYlqaCR9-MnRL6-Ut6wXUBp9dvzF0XF_d9iW6bB9KqHXc62I8l9IpS4b03EDLctmazE7EQR9Tr9P0l7W9SwoP9xlD-yaQpUbfgt746S8rHuAVY0CFzKn_Qi2NwSc8aqN5ttT1aYo9H1JGUvU6l1WmpRTuwD1/w640-h452/Marilu%20henner.png" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div>I’m not a traditional perfectionist, I don’t obsess over every little detail in life, but in the past I have often let the idea of everything being perfect stop me from getting started with things, and quite honestly from continuing and finishing them as well.<br /><p>For example, for the longest time I would come up with excuses to not workout if the living room was messy, or the kids were at home, or if I only had a 10 minute window. Or I would put off going out if my hair was dirty or I didn’t have the right top on. I am relieved to tell you though, that I no longer do either of those now, along with many other things I used to put off because the circumstances didn’t feel perfect.</p><p>BUT, (and this deserves a big one!) perfectionism did stop me from getting started with Her Wisdom.</p><p>Although I did actually begin making some small changes towards this a couple of years ago, there was always something stopping me from really committing to it, I would take a step in the right direction but then always come up with a reason why I couldn't follow through with my plans, I’m too busy, the house needs my attention, the kids are home from school - blah, blah, blah!</p><p>When I turned 45 last year I gave myself a pep talk about making this next year different but even then I still didn’t get started.</p><p>So here I am now, over two months into the year and I’ve actually, finally started now — yay me! But why is it different this time?</p><p>Well, I think I may have finally learnt that valuable lesson — it doesn’t have to be perfect, you just have to flipping start! AND (yes another big one), more importantly than that previous lesson, not only will life circumstances hardly ever be perfect when you get started, they’ll continue to keep being imperfect as life rattles along. The imposter syndrome will always be there, a family emergency will crop up, you’ll feel unwell or not have the right resources or enough money, so just keep putting one foot in front of the other.</p><p>Embracing the many obstacles along the way is the best thing I could have done for myself and it’s taken a long time to truly do that, and I still have to stop myself sometimes from using perfectionism as an excuse but I’m letting that shit go now, and it feels good, exciting even!</p><p>Getting relaxed about the timing of my life being just perfect before I take action has freed me up to achieve more, experience more and generally just enjoy things for what they are, now doesn’t that sound like a better way to go about life?</p><p>Now, three things to help you get unstuck with getting started:</p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lq7w2QVdIjs" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">This YouTube video</span></a> of Ella Mills interviewing Caggie Dunlop for her podcasts focuses on perfectionism, feeling lost and finding our true self and how this helped Caggie to get started on a new phase in her life.</p><p>I love TED Talks and<a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/charly_haversat_perfectionism_holds_us_back_here_s_why" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;"> this one</span></a> by Charlie Harversat, a recovering perfectionist, hits the nail on the head when it comes to what holds you back on getting started.</p><p>Author and scholar Piers Steel has written <a href="https://procrastinus.com/piers-steel/purchase-the-procrastination-equation/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">a brilliant book called the Procrastination Equation</span></a> all about the science of procrastination with tips and ideas on how to stop putting things off and start getting things done. My husband bought this book for me a few years ago and I still dip in and out of it.</p><p>I hope you find these little nuggets of wisdom helpful to get you started on whatever you’ve been putting off lately.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-38771534764519303292023-02-14T12:29:00.000+00:002023-02-14T12:29:05.202+00:00A Second Life...<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnu2v6j4xb6D4qC50k2Wc9z2RoOZx56x7LPdneDl7dDTbFNlH5PQsQZeKyOK6gUuUMatt6Y-Ve94fT7hW4INL2S2S8hkzR-oTOxd-XMBcIlWu6VcAvP0E0KUnbvuOtozqNsW11CH8yMpk4muGRAZE6rLumBdqrJLUKLGGelo7v9V9z2D1dlWenSDX3/s2240/Her%20Wisdom%20Header.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1260" data-original-width="2240" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnu2v6j4xb6D4qC50k2Wc9z2RoOZx56x7LPdneDl7dDTbFNlH5PQsQZeKyOK6gUuUMatt6Y-Ve94fT7hW4INL2S2S8hkzR-oTOxd-XMBcIlWu6VcAvP0E0KUnbvuOtozqNsW11CH8yMpk4muGRAZE6rLumBdqrJLUKLGGelo7v9V9z2D1dlWenSDX3/w400-h225/Her%20Wisdom%20Header.png" width="400" /></a></div>Podcasts are my thing, a way to take in information ideas. I love reading too but I don’t often get the time and when I do it’s normally in the evening when I get to bed early and after one or two pages I always, always fall asleep.<p></p><p>So podcasts are my thing and I have a few in particular that I always listen to. One of my favourites is Second Life, hosted by Hillary Kerr (co-founder of Who, What, Wear) where she chats with women mainly in the fashion/beauty/wellbeing industry who have pivoted in their career path to live a second life. Its always really insightful and I love hearing these brave, tenacious women talk about how they transitioned from one career to the next — you can listen <a href="https://www.secondlifepod.com/"><b><span style="color: black;">here</span></b></a> if you fancy giving it a go!</p><p>As I was figuring out what podcast I wanted to listen to on my drive to work a few days ago I realised with complete clarity and joy that in fact my blog was now starting its second life!</p><p>(Side note: I know it’s not the done thing to have a blog anymore, and I did indeed look at the ultra cool and popular option of starting a Substack and a few other various online writing platforms but decided in the end that <i>I do love</i> my blog here and was happy with what I already had, plus being cool and popular has never been my thing!)</p><p>Finally it all made a bit more sense to me, because I’ve been mulling over this post for a few weeks now but didn’t really know what to say. I wanted to write an update post about the changes I’m making but a traditional “update” post just didn’t seem right. So feeling lost for words I’ve held back because everything I tried to write just came across as a bit blah...</p><p>So here I am now, with a bit of inspiration from one of my favourite podcasts introducing you to <b>Her Wisdom</b>. </p><p>And why am I now giving my blog a second life?</p><p>Well, this new direction has been percolating in my head for a while, with many attempts to get it going but never really anything coming of it. I’ve lacked vision, definition and focus. It’s been half hearted and we all know that’s a one way road to know where. I knew I wanted to focus on my interview series Her Wisdom as they have by far always been the most popular posts and I knew I wanted to transition the name eventually but never really did, waiting for the time to be perfect, or for me to have more money or energy (or confidence) to throw at it. Of course there never is a right time to start something is there?!</p><p>So one day last months when I was too ill to get off the sofa, and with no more excuses left I used that sick day to just do it - I changed the name, designed a new logo, bought a domain name and sorted out a Instagram page. By the end of the day relief swept over me - why hadn’t I just gotten on and done this before? I also had a massive amount of clarity, like a veil was lifted and I could see exactly what I wanted so clearly. </p><p>How crazy to think that a name was the obsticle that was blocking my creativity all along.</p><p>And what can you expect from this space moving forward?</p><p>It’s simple really, more of Her Wisdom.</p><p>Last week I rewrote my about page a little to reflect the change in direction:</p><p><span style="font-family: Lato; font-size: 14.3px; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 14.666667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>"</b><i>Here you’ll find this online space a home for wisdom, guidance </i></span></span><i><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 14.666667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">and ideas </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 14.666667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">to support you to overcome those </span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 14.666667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">obstacles</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: inherit; font-size: 14.666667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I've combined my vocation and my passion for personal wellbeing to create a dedicated place for any woman looking to be expanded and inspired by other women</span></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 14.666667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">’</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">s experiences. Through the efficacy of their wisdom and stories you can get even more curious about yourself, develop the confidence and motivation to unlock your super powers and</span></span></i></span><i><span style="font-family: Lato; font-size: 14.666667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> cultivate a life that feels fully </span><span style="font-family: Lato; font-size: 14.3px;"><span style="font-size: 14.666667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">authentic</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></i><span style="font-size: 14.666667px; font-weight: bold; white-space: pre-wrap;">”</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s one thing we can all do to create a better future and that’s to share our wisdom on the things that have made our lives better. Growing up, and as a young adult, I massively lacked female role models who were strong, compassionate and empowered. I don’t have sisters, I struggled with friendships and my female (and male) bosses were bullies. I never found a mentor in a teacher or a colleague and I constantly connected with people who were living with problematic behaviour patterns. </span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Since my 30’s though I’ve found a new way to connect to some incredible women in this world. Through the power of blogs, social media and podcasts, plus not forgetting good old fashioned books and magazines - I still love to hold an actual piece of writing in my hands - I have been able to discover and learn from other women’s stories and experiences. This gateway to others perspectives has filled a gap that was missing in my life and given me a chance to find my tribe, not to mention keep in touch with the women who matter to me.</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I’m not the only one lacking in the right support, or missing out on spending time around other women who have found their way and have valuable insight to share. As a support worker who has mainly worked with women over the last 15 years I have seen so many others who are lost, who don’t know who to talk to or where to start. </span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">This is my why, this is my mission, to deliver you wisdom from the women who have forged a path in front and are ready to pass down their knowledge and insights so you can do the same.</span></p><p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Their stories are powerful, get ready to embrace change...<br /></span></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-12497033821352234392022-09-28T13:00:00.000+01:002022-09-28T13:00:01.922+01:00Autumn Updates<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY4Nd2ogPDh4vmZDwHtfENfTIPxaeoIaen-jY92H6vaIaDZj-zX7Xw622TaH1g1UB7DKYVAw2xizvTJkEXBwz0ahWYkQWg4n3EDXCJfXIXHuDnlyvjIt3MI11W7Z4VAd-5DSTOWdreathhTBjLHDOdbeBw34fVPcLzYHbX8Qg0H6k06U9VuNNKyo6z/s2734/Karen%20Update.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2734" data-original-width="2320" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY4Nd2ogPDh4vmZDwHtfENfTIPxaeoIaen-jY92H6vaIaDZj-zX7Xw622TaH1g1UB7DKYVAw2xizvTJkEXBwz0ahWYkQWg4n3EDXCJfXIXHuDnlyvjIt3MI11W7Z4VAd-5DSTOWdreathhTBjLHDOdbeBw34fVPcLzYHbX8Qg0H6k06U9VuNNKyo6z/w544-h640/Karen%20Update.JPG" width="544" /></a></div><p><br /></p>It’s been waaayyy too long right?<p></p><p>So, I’m kick starting this new season with some updates on life, plus sharing my wisdom I’ve learnt over the summer months. It was messy and complicated and draining and littered with joyfulness all at once and with all those things comes life lessons and opportunities to grow, and you know I am always passionate about sharing these with you so that we can actually all grow and learn together.</p><p>I guess the main biggest updates are firstly, my new job at the library is going so well, I love being surround by books and people who love reading books and as a bonus I’m getting to use all the marketing and social media skills I have learnt by blogging here over the years and so here’s the first piece of wisdom I want to share. Don’t dismiss anything you’ve done or learnt over the years, shout out to the world about the things you are good at and are passionate about, even if you don’t think they’re relevant because you’ll be surprised by what path they may lead you down.</p><p>Secondly, and few people have asked me about this recently, I am no longer studying on my counselling course. We paid a stupid amount of money for me to do it and I’ve quit. I really had to wrestle with this one, especially because I loved doing it and I knew that it’s something I could be good at BUT, I couldn’t find the time or headspace to do it, working and being a parent has to come first. I also believe that despite being a government backed online learning organisation, I was mis-sold the course and that the qualification I would have ended up with wouldn't actually qualify me to work as a counsellor and isn’t recognised by any professional counselling bodies which contradicted the course description on the website (interestingly the course title, content and qualification has since changed on the website since I started).</p><p>As you can imagine this has been a bitter pill to swallow and I’m wracked with guilt over the time and money this has taken from our family (shout out to my incredibly supportive husband who always encourages me to what’s right for me) however forcing myself to continue would have had bigger implications in the long run and not only did I know that it was the thing in my life that had to give but also I knew that it was actually ok to let it go. So here’s the next piece of wisdom, always, always, do your research before you take on anything important - especially if it’s going to cost you money - and secondly allow yourself some room and grace to fail in life. You are never going to get things right all the time and actually accepting failure makes it easier to handle and to move on from. I’m now actually proud of myself that I found the courage to give up, the relief has been liberating!</p><p>Moving on, it’s been a HARD season of parenting. Over the summer we’ve transitioned our eldest from primary to secondary school and it’s been so much more emotional for all of us that we expected. Our middle one has had a bumpy journey too, she has a sensory processing disorder and was assessed and flagged for dyslexia last term too. It’s made her self esteem dip and I’ve had to work hard to get everything she needs actually put in place at school. The good news is that I’m finally getting the support she needs, and her recent adventures in to the world of Brownies has made all the difference, seeing her thrive there has been wonderful. Last of all my darling boy, our youngest, has not had the best start to the month with a nasty case of gastroenteritis that ended up with an over night stay in hospital. He’s also not loving preschool, so lots of tears every morning which is breaking my heart. On a positive note he’s finally got his speech and language session every week, although he’s improved so much over the summer anyway.</p><p>With all this going on with them individually and Dave and I drastically changing our work routines we’ve all felt the pressure and life feel’s like a massive juggle right now, so if you’re stuck in a parenting rut know you’re not alone. I’m holding on to the lovely memories made over the holidays though like Wren’s birth trip to the safari park, the endless days of swimming in the back garden pool, BBQ’s with friends, sleepovers and a rare date night out for Dave and I at the local beer festival - it’s not all been bad!</p><p>Looking to the future I have a bit more time on my hands now, although it hasn’t felt like it lately, now that Quinn in childcare 4 days a week. I turned 45 this month and I feel like it’s time to start getting on with my life a bit more. I’m ready to dust off some old ideas and projects, take some bold leaps forward and start to slowly create the vision of my life that I’ve been hiding away for so long.</p><p>I know life updates aren’t my usual post here, and if you’ve gotten this far, well done!</p><p>I appreciate everyone who sticks around and still takes the time to read my blog posts, my goal now is to transform this space over the next year into the next version of what I want to put out into the world, to be more helpful in your journey of learning and growth, to bring you more wisdom and insights into other women’s lives so that you can keep expanding yours into the vision of what you want for yourself too.</p><p>A final note - things I’m loving lately:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><a href="https://www.ted.com/podcasts/how-to-be-a-better-human"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">How to Be a Better Human podcast </span></a> </span>- from TED.com</li><li>Autumn fashion and recycling old clothes, Pinterest giving me all the inspiration lately.</li><li><a href="https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/80220679" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Fate: The Winx Fairies Saga</span></a> - this is a live action version of the Italian made fairy cartoon that my girls loved to watch when they were a bit younger, unfortunately it’s rated 15 so they can’t watch it!</li><li>Gorgeously warm and sunny days in September - what a joy!</li><li>Running with our pup, I’ve download the <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/running-and-aerobic-exercises/get-running-with-couch-to-5k/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">NHS Couch to 5k</span></a> app to help me kick start my fitness after a summer of ice cream and inaction.</li><li>I’ve absolutely LOVED read the Glucose Revolution book from the <a href="https://www.instagram.com/glucosegoddess/?hl=en" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Glucose Goddess</span></a>, as a family we’ve all started to implement her hacks, honestly they're life changing!</li></ul><p></p><p>So there you go, life, love and wisdom lately! I promise I won’t litter the blog with lot’s of personal updates moving forward but I will post them from time to time because human connection is so important, and of course I’ll be sharing any creative updates too.</p><p>I’m always open to feed back and would love to hear from you, email me at 365pearlsofwisdom@gmail.com if you want to let me know what you want to see more or less of, if you’re interested in writing a guest post or just for a chat!</p><p>BTW - you can also find me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/?hl=en" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span></a>.</p><p><br /></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-30537310663548942532022-07-06T15:46:00.009+01:002022-07-06T15:46:52.778+01:00Share your wisdom, make a positive change!<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhidbrLZS4frIYSM3kZ-IbpIyIVoBVmup8nYbOINuMC8IgP5yFMEccD20In5yIK070xGC12G9mkOIqOfnt8uxWb6x65rz2tPBsH-vuNfsOS6T2__a6V0ZzylFCzTCPcvTZCCfzuJ63U8fpQtUN7XP1IjoUGSoRUBzyaIIEvGQDgff6Hz4XXDVbh2Ter/s1600/Mindful%20Mantra-15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhidbrLZS4frIYSM3kZ-IbpIyIVoBVmup8nYbOINuMC8IgP5yFMEccD20In5yIK070xGC12G9mkOIqOfnt8uxWb6x65rz2tPBsH-vuNfsOS6T2__a6V0ZzylFCzTCPcvTZCCfzuJ63U8fpQtUN7XP1IjoUGSoRUBzyaIIEvGQDgff6Hz4XXDVbh2Ter/w640-h428/Mindful%20Mantra-15.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">So here I am then back in April 2018, I was speaking as part of workshop that was being run for the Mindful Mantra Day Retreat that I was honoured to host alongside my dear friend <a href="https://drjemma.co.uk" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Jemma Andrews-Adiamah </span></a>(I also didn’t know it then but I was in the very early stages of pregnancy with my little boy too!). It was an incredible day and we had some fantastic women come along to participate and learn more about self care and wellbeing.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">For me though these moments in my life are more that just a chance to show off my knowledge and experiences or talk too much (which is what I do when I’m nervous...) and network with others. They are a chance to ignite something powerful in another because it’s moments just like this that I feel truly in my authenticity, I let that shine through and that can be absorbed </span>by<span style="font-family: georgia;"> everyone around me . Sharing what I know has the potential to positively impact someone else and create a ripple effect beyond - isn’t that incredible, to be able to make such a difference in someones life?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">This kind of situation isn’t just exclusive to me though, we all have the potential to have an amazing impact on someones life. Whether we are imparting wisdom, being a positive role model and taking on a mentoring role in another's life, sharing what’s been good for you is one of the best gifts you can give, and it’s free too!</span></div><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br />Think back to a time when you felt lost, unsure or confused, did you have someone else there to guide you? And wouldn’t it have been great if you didn’t? Or maybe you’ve gotten stuck in a rut with an idea, needed some fashion inspiration and had a wobble in self belief? Being able to look to someone else who you admire or embodies those things can make all the difference in moving yourself forward.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">So now you can see how this really works, when you share your wisdom with others it creates a chain reaction, they go on to do better, others around them learn and do better and then they go on to influence and impact the people around them too and so on!<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Know that you don’t have to stand up in a room in front of people and talk either, maybe your social media posts are inspiring other, perhaps you can teach a class in your community, and if there are children in your life maybe you can embody leadership for them. It doesn’t really matter what you do, it’s grasping the opportunities when you see them because one thing I know for sure is that when we have a tribe of people around us leading the way, inspiring us to connect deep within ourselves, we find those self belief levels shoot up quickly. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">So what can you do then to cultivate this then? </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Well, I definitely believe that being real with other helps, I always share the bad days as much as the good days because we live in a world that’s far from perfect so of course bad happens and again coming from a place of authenticity naturally encourages that in other people. Get curious about where and how you can help others too, where are there gaps in your community, friendship group or work place that you could be a mentor? I have often shared a lot about my infertility journey in the past because I know my story has supported and will continue to support other women reading it and going through a similar thing. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">That’s also the final thought I want to leave with you, that there may be times where the wisdom and experience you share might not be obviously impacting others but know that you never know who might hear it then or in the future, and that what you share may be the catalyst to someone else being able to make a positive change to their life and future. </span></div><p></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-25662775749828693932022-06-16T16:13:00.003+01:002023-06-21T12:04:38.710+01:00Podcasts to inspire your goals!<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcRXh_htg-mYWwdXSIrMprK3xi1RoIbRD-ayCV2_3pw2PJ3qWXub2-Klo9A53qL5bl_5Onnwd26t2war0qr5U8JOQF-VLg58WER4tvQbX4yXz-PkqygIBD8-tHkqLikXcDJwzZR8LqBFNW0JbhWaseiaxi2hgMznWiD34WDOQkosqJ0PHATOi3fyGN/s6000/vika-strawberrika-Jbwp-Gd8GHM-unsplash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6000" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcRXh_htg-mYWwdXSIrMprK3xi1RoIbRD-ayCV2_3pw2PJ3qWXub2-Klo9A53qL5bl_5Onnwd26t2war0qr5U8JOQF-VLg58WER4tvQbX4yXz-PkqygIBD8-tHkqLikXcDJwzZR8LqBFNW0JbhWaseiaxi2hgMznWiD34WDOQkosqJ0PHATOi3fyGN/w640-h426/vika-strawberrika-Jbwp-Gd8GHM-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Last week a friend of mine asked me what my top podcast listens were lately and this got me thinking about some of my favourites I’ve been listening to lately.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">And not only did I shared them with my pal but I'm sharing them here too because I think you’ll find so much inspiration and wisdom when you give them a listen. Each podcast is one that champions women's achievements or experiences and gives many ideas on how all of us can navigate the path towards what we want and care about.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">So, here are my top 5 recommendations for podcasts to inspire you to reach your goals...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: x-large;">1. Expanded by To Be Magnetic</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirRFGq5EoWcK_qXYkLHa6Fg0n5xcLVf4OP_bcLPYctvkr_IdMbBjYbssq6GYTpnpzpE3CQyFkRM3gwiGuAbL_OqMeauQwwMmSf1q5GYn1FPhM-VxZ2AbE0LuHbHM5syF_quje9bHnfEiswBlpz2PAZ5KsG3wS3nqXC21FOXspbq69gx1wPew0XfbuT/s300/PodcastArt_Final.jpg" style="clear: right; display: inline; float: right; font-family: georgia; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirRFGq5EoWcK_qXYkLHa6Fg0n5xcLVf4OP_bcLPYctvkr_IdMbBjYbssq6GYTpnpzpE3CQyFkRM3gwiGuAbL_OqMeauQwwMmSf1q5GYn1FPhM-VxZ2AbE0LuHbHM5syF_quje9bHnfEiswBlpz2PAZ5KsG3wS3nqXC21FOXspbq69gx1wPew0XfbuT/w200-h200/PodcastArt_Final.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>This podcast from Lacey Phillips of <a href="https://tobemagnetic.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">To Be Magnetic</span></a> is one of my top favourites. To be completely transparent I am a paid member of their Pathway programme so of course I love it but this podcast alone is so inspiring and packed full of stories and ideas to get you started with manifesting. TBM come at it from a <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(48, 48, 48); letter-spacing: 0.36px; white-space: pre-wrap;">neuroscience, psychology and epigenetics point of view which I find so refreshing and realistic and feature some incredible guests and experts who have some wonderful stories to tell that will empower you to really start looking at your own life and how to makes steps towards your goals. New episodes come out every Friday and you can find them all <a href="https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span></a>.</span></span></div></span></div><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: x-large;">2. Reclaiming Mum</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpMqhqI_1yJwWT5nuumtyAxN_HEafOCOseieWPIAESHew2aqSD6IE9ZXnPNcR3wvigsQzPYWcaETdoQqn30Nb5usdhsIxI0IpEb9F41B9CfAYmWehjiVQXvjB9hsDW-bn9YobU7kvxbCpmLo6SrRhPHQ5vysSyU6T6zhxhJa5-kuBkcOYzoZETNBCs/s885/Jemma%20-%20Podcast.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><img border="0" data-original-height="885" data-original-width="885" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpMqhqI_1yJwWT5nuumtyAxN_HEafOCOseieWPIAESHew2aqSD6IE9ZXnPNcR3wvigsQzPYWcaETdoQqn30Nb5usdhsIxI0IpEb9F41B9CfAYmWehjiVQXvjB9hsDW-bn9YobU7kvxbCpmLo6SrRhPHQ5vysSyU6T6zhxhJa5-kuBkcOYzoZETNBCs/w200-h200/Jemma%20-%20Podcast.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Jemma Andrew-Adiamah’s podcast is a wonderful slice of the motherhood pie and focuses on the never ending juggle between being a mum and having space for yourself to fulfil your own needs, wants and passions. Jemma is an empowerment coach and now a mum of 4, she knows all too well how that journey can be filled with barriers and hurdles that most mothers find themselves having to overcome but her experiences, and that of her amazing guests gives inspiration and practical action on how to break them down. She’s currently on maternity leave after having her twins but there are 28 wonderfully nourishing episodes already available to binge on and you can click through <a href="https://drjemma.co.uk/podcast/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span></a> to find them and get started.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: x-large;">3. How To Start Over</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnalXB11EEKEmkJMwy_afIXYpCY8ONNG2_kpJHdlh0BG6BQcag1DLybChnBwYvjiZDSty6xVpcJOWoZT_7b_9guoAhKPFAM3tdqLqlOXxQjb1jnNVe0jffVc8vBOw-RKO3Oyxvarp_cGct-NZq1v2_L0wb19ic1McpdGjOTdSZvgOGoZ-gZj3nMr5v/s320/original.jpg-2%20Small.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="320" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnalXB11EEKEmkJMwy_afIXYpCY8ONNG2_kpJHdlh0BG6BQcag1DLybChnBwYvjiZDSty6xVpcJOWoZT_7b_9guoAhKPFAM3tdqLqlOXxQjb1jnNVe0jffVc8vBOw-RKO3Oyxvarp_cGct-NZq1v2_L0wb19ic1McpdGjOTdSZvgOGoZ-gZj3nMr5v/w200-h200/original.jpg-2%20Small.png" width="200" /></span></a></div></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Journalist Olga Khazan host this season of the podcast which features both male and female guest and already has some great episodes on parenting, relationships and midlife. This podcast explores the kind of changes in life that so many of us go through and how starting over again can be difficult but rewarding too. If you find yourself at a point in your life where you’re facing something new and unfamiliar this is the podcast for you. So far there are 3 episodes available in this season with more to come, I recently listened to the first one and loved it and can’t wait to get stuck into the others too, and you can find them yourself right <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/how-to-build-a-happy-life/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span></a>.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: x-large;">4. Woman’s Hour </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDJDqBW7cU2J411HrwN0j-fil9EdoTBFHt8nUscM9zOMQa0zKu0hsa81SZzSEx49usZCX5RXWHTpUHgRLFzerPo2vo8OCwp9rIUFODtfm75-1rw-mZ1jZwEPTEaavTTBuwuPpYSCLLBtkjpAnG-W2Q35lhJc21BZ3CGV1y8x5LJYZLsm-oHwYcPyLd/s367/Woman's%20Hour%20Podcast.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="367" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDJDqBW7cU2J411HrwN0j-fil9EdoTBFHt8nUscM9zOMQa0zKu0hsa81SZzSEx49usZCX5RXWHTpUHgRLFzerPo2vo8OCwp9rIUFODtfm75-1rw-mZ1jZwEPTEaavTTBuwuPpYSCLLBtkjpAnG-W2Q35lhJc21BZ3CGV1y8x5LJYZLsm-oHwYcPyLd/w200-h196/Woman's%20Hour%20Podcast.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">As a student I always listened to Woman’s Hour on the radio when I was at home studying, it was a real comfort to me to listen in to the guests and the topics and always feel so seen as a young woman myself. I rarely ever get to listen to Woman’s Hour on the radio these days so discovering the podcast has been a real treat (plus there are two other additional Woman’s Hour podcasts on cooking and late night chat). This podcast is a great way to keep up on the diverse, worldwide topics and events that impact women on a daily basis, with really thoughtful guests bringing interesting and relevant conversation, getting you thinking more deeply about your own point of view — listen <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/4swWTdctq1BLsXd7qBzTbDt/womans-hour-podcast" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span></a>.</span></div><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">5. Second Life</span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: xx-large; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnzQuUjWMoOT8WWfCWqhxi8MMD48bPn-xQY-5or6eG87fBBlOvfa23LQOP7HvRPYR4NELF1QDdxDL_VZorWL-UdQqVXi3oGkWIUK6MErzBA-T3h2tQlgsMhXfXYg3LlaSgFXjiyq5zfD8eOhLpP08CNAbXOmEysFF-TfehOiF3GJ19eMuIiD-TCKk1/s993/Second%20Life%20podcast.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="993" data-original-width="993" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnzQuUjWMoOT8WWfCWqhxi8MMD48bPn-xQY-5or6eG87fBBlOvfa23LQOP7HvRPYR4NELF1QDdxDL_VZorWL-UdQqVXi3oGkWIUK6MErzBA-T3h2tQlgsMhXfXYg3LlaSgFXjiyq5zfD8eOhLpP08CNAbXOmEysFF-TfehOiF3GJ19eMuIiD-TCKk1/w200-h200/Second%20Life%20podcast.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">The Second Life podcast has been a firm favourite of mine for a few years now, I am continually inspired and empowered by the women that Hillary Kerr, co-founder of the fashion website and brand Who What Wear, features on her podcast. Spotlighting women who have pivoted on their career path, this podcast is packed full of brave and inspiring women who decided to make a change when it came to their work life and will show that any can be possible if you dare to make the transition. It’s definitely one of my most favourites to listen to when I need a boost in motivation or feeling a bit stuck. You can listen to all episodes right <a href="https://www.secondlifepod.com/episodes" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span></a>.</span></p><p>So there you go, my top 5 and I hope you find one you like here too. Plus as a little bonus I’m sharing one resource that I use constantly that inspires me to map out and achieve my goals and can help you reach your personal and self care goals as well. Check out this <a href="https://payhip.com/b/mUZuk" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Lifestyle Bundle of daily and monthly planners and self care worksheets here </span></a>that I created to help me get track. I’ve gone from being completely chaotic, because I’m so easily distracted, to feeling more calm and focused on what I want and need, and making sure I get self care time when I need it.</p><p>Main photo: by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@vika_strawberrika?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Vika Strawberrika</span></a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/podcast?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><br />Unsplash</span></a></p><p></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-40260863351774212972022-06-08T12:26:00.002+01:002022-06-08T12:27:30.447+01:00Cultivating a connection to others — the why’s & the how’s<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_cet1jAQRwnPtFjVHWytY9czI70BYPyge_2AkqSEIGGi_yAskIfy7jyhJ7SEv_hEj5Z7j_ealcPJI5ThXCgB0c5IyXrmadegWCRQj-9HBIPJ21rdITPD-_iKAOoEBguVZDAmGxYHNAbbxhSo6DlCdp5hTS7NLe_JAnmYz9Md03pm0Nrqaylyfvaej/s5341/priscilla-du-preez-dyTxwGriLoY-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3561" data-original-width="5341" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_cet1jAQRwnPtFjVHWytY9czI70BYPyge_2AkqSEIGGi_yAskIfy7jyhJ7SEv_hEj5Z7j_ealcPJI5ThXCgB0c5IyXrmadegWCRQj-9HBIPJ21rdITPD-_iKAOoEBguVZDAmGxYHNAbbxhSo6DlCdp5hTS7NLe_JAnmYz9Md03pm0Nrqaylyfvaej/w640-h426/priscilla-du-preez-dyTxwGriLoY-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p><b><span style="font-family: helvetica;">We’re pretty much half way through this year and, for me personally, it can be a smart and useful idea to look back over the first 6 months and reflect on what’s happened, how that feels and then take a few purposeful steps forward.</span></b></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">As someone who’s easily distracted, I often get to June and wonder where has the time gone and why haven’t all those big plans I had back at the start of the year come to life yet...? So checking in with myself now helps to recalibrate any plans and goals I have, setting me off on the right track again.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">So now, this has been my self care theme for the last week and it’s not escaped my attention that one particular area of my life has given me so much insight recently, and if I’m being honest it’s not just something I’ve been thinking about lately but a situation I’ve been mulling over for quite a while now.</span></p><p><b><span style="font-family: helvetica;">The subject of relationships and friendships has always been a rollercoaster for most of my life, there are so many layers in this for me but one thing that I’ve managed to unpack lately is the presence of people throughout my life that actually reflected back who I was deep down at my core.</span></b></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I know, especially in the earlier days as a teenager and young adult I had a real lack of positive, healthy relationships and not many role models to learn from either. A lot of this was connected to my emotional and mental health, how I viewed and navigated relationships with others and my need to be seen and acknowledged — needless to say most of this ended up manifesting itself in a negative way.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Now I’ve been lucky enough to start turning this around in the later half of my life, and in the last few year I’ve been able connect with some gorgeously authentic people from the most unexpected places and I’m really starting to feel seen and heard by others for who I really am. But this has taken quite some nurturing on my part, especially with my history of unhealthy, toxic relationships, with some lightbulb moments and deep, reflective self care.</span></p><p><b><span style="font-family: helvetica;">So at this point then I really feel the need to share a few secrets with you about what I’ve learnt along the way, ones that I think could really change your relationship dynamics too...</span></b></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">First off, <i>and this is so important</i>, <b>your relationships with other people can show up in many different ways and they don’t all have to be incredibly intense and meaningful </b>— and it’s you who gets to choose how someone in present in your life.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">For example not every friendship has to become a life long best friend, you can have your parenting buddies you go to the park with, your friend who you workout with, a group of people you share a hobby with or a neighbour you walk the dog with. Having friends or relationships that focus only on one common area of your life can be liberating, that’s where you put your energy when you're with them, making your time together more simple and easy going and you’ll see that you get more out it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Another good relationship practice, that can feel tricky to do but so worth while, is to manage your time with difficult relationships in a way that’s better for you. There’s always going to be some toxic person in your life that you can’t easily walk away from — an annoying family member or a difficult colleague for instance — you might not be able to completely remove them from your life but you can reframe how you show up around them. Remember their negative energy or words is a reflection of something in them not you, no-one has the right to bully or pressure you into something that doesn’t feel good and most importantly you can choose to take a break from any situation that makes you feel sad, angry or shameful, gifting yourself the space to step away can be so healing and you deserve to have that. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I’ve also written more thoughts on navigating toxic relationship <span style="caret-color: rgb(217, 210, 233);"><a href="https://365pofw.blogspot.com/2020/08/navigating-toxic-relationships-and-how.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span></a></span> and being a people pleaser <a href="https://365pofw.blogspot.com/2020/07/why-you-cant-please-everyone-and-why.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">here</span></a>, where you can get some more insights and ideas on managing these types of difficult situations. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Last of all then, seek out and find the people who really do resonate with you at the core of who you are and everything that you stand for because we all need those people in our lives. These are people who mirror your goals, share your values and encourage you to dream big. These are people who have achieved what you want to achieved, lived in a way that you want to live or are creating their life in a way that excites you. It’s not about copying them or wanting to be exactly like them, it’s about taking inspiration, sharing ideas, sparking creativity and having someone on your side who get’s exactly who you are at your most authentic and cheers you along the way - these are the relationships you need to connect to and cultivate, and then I promise that these are the relationships that will change your life.</span></p><p><b><span style="font-family: helvetica;">You need to remember though not everyone can or will show up like this for you in life, and that’s ok. You don’t need a ten fold team of ride or die besties, in fact one or two is sometimes better. Also your people might come into your life in the most unexpected way — maybe as a mentor or someone you meet at an event or on your travels to the other side of the world! </span></b></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">And if you’re reading this and think you have no one like this in your life right now please don’t feel out of luck, there are many ways to connect to new people. Social media is the obvious and easiest one, follow people that resonate with you or inspire you and start chatting, if you’re shy start small and don’t be afraid to unfollow if you need to. Also you can start to look for new ways to connect to others in your community too, like groups or clubs. And if you’re feeling bold and brave then maybe it’s time to find a new job or new neighbourhood where the people are more inline with who you are or what you want expand into.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Human connection, the right connection, is just so good for our wellbeing, even if you’re an introvert a small group of people around you who honour that will give you the space to be who you really are. When we invest in our relationship with people, the ones that lift us higher, then we invest in ourselves and that’s something that everyone is worthy of. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@priscilladupreez?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Priscilla Du Preez</span></a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/friends?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Unsplash</span></a></span></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-77103757990656713022022-03-22T14:43:00.000+00:002022-03-22T14:43:02.652+00:00Navigating the past and managing regrets<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjwwx0S4Ctgzp6fldcp0aYGpa3nmCwve4aW_af_jB8_HVqfCtVgC4gqjHUwewLFdo-1hPCUdJb0KqnH5MugBZskyl5EpbdpQ8qXCIA2MoZbrwLvQYmN6Txv5Hwh4emMP7f5eDnOUujDRST0Ls9No0fb2tzMGxFDIIqjF3xK9s-bQVcuyLKrFd96tpO/s5343/anthony-tran-vXymirxr5ac-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3562" data-original-width="5343" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjwwx0S4Ctgzp6fldcp0aYGpa3nmCwve4aW_af_jB8_HVqfCtVgC4gqjHUwewLFdo-1hPCUdJb0KqnH5MugBZskyl5EpbdpQ8qXCIA2MoZbrwLvQYmN6Txv5Hwh4emMP7f5eDnOUujDRST0Ls9No0fb2tzMGxFDIIqjF3xK9s-bQVcuyLKrFd96tpO/w640-h426/anthony-tran-vXymirxr5ac-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;">Photo by </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/@anthonytran?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: black;">Anthony Tran</span></a><span style="text-align: start;"> on<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span><span style="text-align: start;"><a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/woman-sad?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="text-align: start;">Unsplash</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p>If there were a kingdom named Dwelling in the Past I would be crowned it’s queen because I've spent a lot of my thinking time there. In fact I've spent too much time there and, no surprise here, it constantly stops me from moving forward, routing my thoughts and beliefs to the royal throne that has become my brain.</p><p>I play out stories in my head of who I am, where I am and what I’ll become, all informed by my past, and I get trapped in those stories sometimes daily. Again, it won't surprise you to know, that I am continuously trigged by people, events and situation from my past too. Some days I feel so trapped by it that I drown in those feelings and have to continuously find ways to pull my self out, it's fucking exhausting and I’ve known for a while that it needs to stop for the sake of everyone and everything around me.</p><p>That’s not to say that I think or want to dismiss my past, put it in a box and pretend it didn’t happen. It could be so easy to do this and say to myself “Oh well, never mind, what’s done is done!”, but to me this would also be the easy way out because I wouldn’t have to take responsibility for my actions or face any trauma. </p><p>I get why people do disassociate from anything painful in their past because for one, I’m guilty of doing this a lot through my life, and even more so because you do need to have, on some level, some support and courage to start facing the things that feel hard and so many people just don’t have this in place. </p><p>Now for me I've felt a shift happening in the last 18 months, certain situations in my life have thrown up big triggers from my past which has bought about behaviour from me that was just wearing me down, impacting my family and screwing with my mental health. But I guess what’s changed this time is somewhere in my mind I’ve decided I can’t keep going through this all the time, plus I’ve had some really supportive conversations with friends and family lately and I’ve been able to push myself to get curious about why I feel the impact of my past and what can I do about.</p><p>I can tell you too, that changing the way I’m approaching this has felt like a massive relief. It’s not been instant though, because I’ve had to figure out a way that I can unpack it all and look after myself at the same time while I do that. This is an ongoing process and I do know that it always will be but I do feel like I’m on the right road now.</p><p>Getting curious about my past, and how it impacts me now, has been so key to making it all work though, I can say that this was the first big step. I didn't feel too overwhelming either which is important when you start to work on yourself and any difficult thoughts and feelings. Secondly, it’s been equally important to only have these conversation with people I trust, and with people who have the emotional time and energy to support me through it. I’m dealing with a lot emotional trauma and some mental and physical trauma too and some people in life just aren’t in the right place or mentally equipped to help manage that.</p><p>The final step is to refocus what the past means and exploring this has been the real game changer (and actually how I let it define me too). For me this looks like taking the memories that bought shame and resentment and trying to see if I can learn any lessons that impact me positively now. It’s also acknowledging those words that I've attached to the past that make me feel less than, like failure, rejected and never good enough and working through the trauma that’s associated with them. To make this easier I examine the good bit’s too, like when I didn’t fail or feel rejected or believed that I was good enough, by doing this it’s starting to build up a picture in my mind of the best part of me, like a resilience bank that I can dip in and out of. Having this part of the puzzle in place is creating a big shift for me now, it’s slow but I just keep working on it.</p><p>It’s important to be clear though that doing this work isn’t an overnight magic wand, in fact I believe that as people we need to be constantly working on our personal growth to show up as our best authentic selves. I can also tell you from experience that you will still find yourself being triggered, especially when you start facing whatever is upsetting you. I can’t stress enough that having support at this time is important, and if you don’t have it in the people that surround you in life then seek it elsewhere, asking for professional support is brave, sensible and the most responsible thing you can do for yourself, I know I have hugely benefited from counselling in the past.</p><p>Over time these stories about the past are starting to change for me now, sometimes I make huge leaps in progress and other times it’s slow or I get triggered again by something and I struggle to see a way forward again. There’s a famous quote though that I love from Henry Ford that goes like this “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. This reminds me that if things aren’t working then it’s time to try something new and this is normally the shove I need to switch gears and figure out what I can do next.</p><p>Change is good, change in how we approach life and wellbeing is good, change feels hard and uncomfortable a lot of the time but this change in how I’m now navigating my past and managing any regrets, frustrations and trauma is leading me somewhere that may just finally set me free. </p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-44388614459249958062022-02-23T13:54:00.000+00:002022-02-23T13:54:44.920+00:00Facing your fears, embracing uncertainty.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEixwUxNPDM43ichrq8pWhHxWDZokv9lNleo7NAKWDJzzzyrRIfvOYuOCdG4CREIHPwGA2dALA-aLAgeiXGabNqR3I8jpAUOolFCyBXINdYozQ1AH7hRMjHVhuR0goB_OE4gjWxckYeI3DKPPpCkH7UlVsjJNdTmSiT7h2qLlFxFYg8qq0uakxq-TSs2=s5019" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3346" data-original-width="5019" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEixwUxNPDM43ichrq8pWhHxWDZokv9lNleo7NAKWDJzzzyrRIfvOYuOCdG4CREIHPwGA2dALA-aLAgeiXGabNqR3I8jpAUOolFCyBXINdYozQ1AH7hRMjHVhuR0goB_OE4gjWxckYeI3DKPPpCkH7UlVsjJNdTmSiT7h2qLlFxFYg8qq0uakxq-TSs2=w640-h426" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div>As I transitioned into adulthood I went from being an awkward teenager to a confident young women who travelled the world and thought anything was possible. Don’t get me wrong I my self esteem got knocked down plenty of times along the way — a cheating boyfriend, failed job interview, fall out with a friend — but I pushed myself to keep striving for a life I had always dreamed about and felt like anything could be possible, I would pick myself up from a fall and find myself brimming with hope and optimism again.<div><br /></div><div>But recently I’ve felt the grip of fear creeping into my mind, my emotions have been all over the place, my body has felt heavy, all of a sudden I’ve become someone I don’t recognise. Where I had always leaned into this “Fuck it, let's go for it!” or “Why the hell not me?!” attitude, fear of failure and making mistakes have become my constant companion, and where I always believed I could achieve anything this doubt of whether I can ever be good enough has now settled in my thoughts and I’ve massively struggled to push it away.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now I’m not one to worry about what others think about me, I’ve learnt to grow a thick skin over the years and I know truly that I’m not for everyone and they also are not always for me. But my goodness fear of what other will think of me is also permanently lodged in my brain right now and driving my all my good intentions to the outer limits. </div><div><br /></div><div>Fear has taken over and I don’t like it anymore.</div><div><br /></div><div>However there’s nothing like a new year to you a kick up the arse and thankfully that’s what seems to have happened. I’ve always taken January as a slow, quiet month where I don’t rush into any decision or plan making and that’s exactly what I did this and graced myself some time and space to mull this whole fear thing over.</div><div><br /></div><div>I came to several conclusions which have helped me unpack this feeling and get to the root of it and if fear is plaguing you lately you may recognise some of these. </div><div><br /></div><div>Low self worth - this has been a major problem for me especially since giving up work and although I’ve done tiny bits of freelancing here and there I’ve really lost a part of myself and who I identify as which has impacted my self esteem. </div><div><br /></div><div>Here’s the other big one, my age! Yes, being in my mid forties is playing tricks with my mind and emotions I feel like a clock is ticking, that I’m getting too old to be successful, relevant or build a valuable career - and I know you are shaking your head at me right now!</div><div><br /></div><div>Finally, regret and rejection are massive barriers too. Regret, that’ll pick the wrong job, course, or path and that I’ll waste more time trying to figure out what I should do with my life and rejection, that people will laugh at me, scoff at me and generally look down on me if I try something new.</div><div><br /></div><div>You may have noticed that there’s a common theme here and that all my fear is tied up in what I want to do for work and career moving forward. </div><div><br /></div><div>So here’s where I am at now.</div><div><br /></div><div>I personally see that I have two choices - continue to let fear rule my life and be sad, disappointed and unauthentic to my true self OR find and do what I need to shift this horrible feeling push forward again with my fingers and toes crossed that the right thing will happen.</div><div><br /></div><div>It’s not easy though right? You can have all the good will in the world but overcoming fear is HARD.</div><div><br /></div><div>So which one am I choosing?</div><div><br /></div><div>Well, thankfully it’s the latter and you know what it’s not as hard as I thought it would be to get started. </div><div><br /></div><div>The number one thing that helped was knowing my why, and for me it’s my children. I don’t want them to see me crippled by fear in this way anymore and actually I didn’t want my life to be defined by it either, so I guess I’m doing it just as much for myself too.</div><div><br /></div><div>So now it’s time to take action and I think that’s the most valuable thing I can give you to take away here. </div><div>TAKE ACTION. </div><div><br /></div><div>It doesn’t have to be a big step, it doesn’t have to loads of things because overwhelming yourself with pressure isn’t helpful but you should nudge yourself out your comfort zone if you can. My action was firstly telling people I felt fear and why (please choose people you trust to do this with), I realised I felt quite isolated so I arranged to get coffee with a few friends and signed up for an online writing group which has been not only helpful to explore my fear but connect with some incredible women who have resonated with and inspired me.</div><div><br /></div><div>Finally, and this is the hardest one, I’ve really worked on being ok and not knowing the answers. This has been tricky for me because I need to have to grasp on who I am to feel my best self and I’ve really lost that lately so just running with it pushes my personal boundaries. But if it’s not working then it’s time for a change so I’m being brave now. My way forward with this is to just figure out what makes me tick, what I might be good at and where I could start. It still feels so uncertain but what harm will it do if I try out some different things - it could be exciting right?</div><div><br /></div><div>I don’t have it all figured out, that scares me because I feel like I should but the only was to beat that fear is to look it in the eye, gather my army of supporters and put one foot forward at a time.</div>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-71570810260299309352022-01-25T16:39:00.002+00:002022-01-25T20:42:33.002+00:00Lessons in life from my new puppy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjjqKQU67gTsaIZzSp3ZZ1v1df_Vg1XTZhurU14N25wzPnwE1DC5ts2ElJy-7S5Z3OxCpcWNnLuQFWMmLN968Sci4xU6sJVkbFYKjhIoaN9It-pwayEGGqijTpEFBPGEHYQUlQFcK0VN58TuI9Z0bMqzyzbItNToEtVfeQsPyyBhK7xjlDG_rwjaUcG=s2000" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjjqKQU67gTsaIZzSp3ZZ1v1df_Vg1XTZhurU14N25wzPnwE1DC5ts2ElJy-7S5Z3OxCpcWNnLuQFWMmLN968Sci4xU6sJVkbFYKjhIoaN9It-pwayEGGqijTpEFBPGEHYQUlQFcK0VN58TuI9Z0bMqzyzbItNToEtVfeQsPyyBhK7xjlDG_rwjaUcG=w640-h512" width="640" /></a></div><p>Whilst in the depths of suffering from shingles, and a week before Christmas just gone, my husband and I decided to make the crazy, spontaneous decision of getting our family a puppy...</p><p>It started off as a normal Saturday, Dave took our middle child to swimming lessons, I got up with the other two kids, put on a load of laundry, drank several cups of coffee and tried not to itch the clusters of pox that were coming out on the right side of my back. But by mid morning we were toying with the idea of a puppy after Dave randomly came across a for sale ad online for puppies just down the road from us.</p><p>After much begging from the kids and a few text conversations with the owners later we were pulling out of our drive and on our way to meet him, and by 2pm we were dog owners and on our way home again with a scared, barking pup and our kids crying in the back seat because they didn’t like the noise.</p><p>That night, and for next two weeks to follow, my husband slept downstairs to comfort him and let him out for toilet breaks and we binged watched puppy training videos on You Tube, spent a ton of money on puppy food, toys and equipment. </p><p>It very quickly dawned on us that, despite Dave growing up with dogs, we were completely unprepared for the chaos and attention that having a new puppy brings. We also realised that the following weekend was indeed Christmas, and we had to now figure that out with a new bouncy and excitable member of the family who liked to chew anything he got his teeth on.</p><p>Needless to say our Christmas and New Year celebrations were filled with lots of doggy fun peppered with some “What the hell have we done?!” moments too.</p><p>He’s now 14 weeks old, is much bigger and bouncier, but has become such a beloved member of the family and spending the last 5 weeks with our new pup has also reminded me of a few important lessons...</p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">It’s OK to regret your decisions.</span></b></p><p><span>This goes for especially when you thought you were making a good one. Yes, that’s right, two days after we made the rash, spur of the moment decision to get our puppy I was flooded with feelings of regret. It was harder still because I knew some of the people we had told over the last few days about getting him thought we were a bit silly, so I had their voices in my head saying “I told you so!”.</span></p><p>So how did I manage that feeling? Well, I knew it was a decision I couldn’t take back so instead of languishing in the regret I decided to own it. Yes, we didn’t think it through but we could make the best of it and so we did. Like I said we read and learnt everything we could to be good dog owners and with Dave’s hindsight in having dogs before he was able to reassure me that the chaos of the puppy days don’t last forever and to be honest he’s constantly changing already.</p><p>The lesson for me here was to really throw myself into living with the decision, acknowledge my feelings and plan forward so I could see how the situation would change and evolve, the regret I felt now was temporary because life keeps changing. It was a good way to shift my mindset and leads on nicely to my next lesson.</p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Everything is temporary, good or bad. </span></b></p><p>As I said, the first few crazy weeks were temporary but felt hard at the time. We were lucky because pup had had his first vaccination before we took him home so we only had to wait a few weeks to get his next and then be able to take him out but my goodness he was a handful in the mean time. There’s a reason people look at you like you’re mad when you tell them you've got a boarder collie because they are full of energy that knows no bounds. His home is in the kitchen and he comes out through the day to play, go into the garden and then to settle with us in the living room at night but he needed more than this after the first week of settling him in and it was hard for all of us. Plus getting him used to being on his own, leaving the house, toilet training, jumping and biting at the kids and the sleepless nights it honestly felt like we had a newborn all over again. </p><p>But like a baby, he’s changing really quickly and so is life with him at home. Dave was really adamant that we were going to have boundaries from the start and that’s really paid off. He’s not allowed upstairs or on the sofa, we taught him to sit, lie down and make in the garden all within a few days and his nipping and biting has really calmed down. He still jumps up but he’s just very excited to see people and now that he can have his 3 walks a day (yes he does because we both work from home and that’s why we’re actually perfect pup people!), he sleeeeeeps so much now!</p><p>The lesson here is to lean into the hard bits, take the small wins and trust that your situation won’t always feel like this. A good way to remember this is to look back at something in your past that felt hard or uncomfortable and recongnise that your situation changed, your feelings changed and life changed. It’s a nice nudge to try to celebrate the good stuff also because unfortunately life can be shit times too. </p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Change is good for the soul.</span></b></p><p><span>I’ve talked about change so many times in past blog posts but here’s a doggy spin on it. So if you haven’t realised by now our pup has created a lot of change in our life these last month, again we didn’t really anticipate how much, but I can honestly say it’s been for the best. We’ve had to completely change our morning routine, especially since he’s been going out for walks and he’s made my husband a morning person which is something i’ve been trying to and failing at for years! </span></p><p><span>We’ve had to rethink our trips out and our plan to go away for our wedding anniversary this year but instead I’ve been researching dog-friendly cottages and get aways and found some gorgeous places. As I’ve already mentioned he now allowed to go out for walks and although my husband does it 100% at the moment it’s been a good change to his routine and we’ve all joined him at various times through the week and I’m for one loving the extra excuse to get my steps in.</span></p><p><span>The lesson is that although change can feel overwhelming, strange and annoying even, it can bring about news perspectives, encourage new, positive habits and if you’re lucky present you with better circumstances in the long run.</span></p><p>In weeks we’ve had him so many have said to me that getting a dog was the best thing they’ve done for their family and I couldn’t agree more but I must confess I am not a dog person so this has been a massive step for me and I’ve had to really take some time to get used to it. I think he may truly be the only dog I love but that’s enough, that’s all he needs from me and he’s all I need too. </p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-66810956159827329462022-01-05T11:27:00.006+00:002024-03-09T16:44:53.836+00:00January loading...<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg8YvXitHaWV5gw9qvFseZEayCaK0gUezUgsn8IfOuIqC13XopYcXS5T0kE8tlnL_BcVT71itkFnir3ASLC_aggGeJBkQIrV3rPRkFsW-qJ-gGgInewLCl1WYfCtwauEVAamHdtu5KFXU2LfdzJYQTNtMvfcT0rgaM17r7b9s1TuX0XDMk0B9fJV6v2=s5000" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3748" data-original-width="5000" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg8YvXitHaWV5gw9qvFseZEayCaK0gUezUgsn8IfOuIqC13XopYcXS5T0kE8tlnL_BcVT71itkFnir3ASLC_aggGeJBkQIrV3rPRkFsW-qJ-gGgInewLCl1WYfCtwauEVAamHdtu5KFXU2LfdzJYQTNtMvfcT0rgaM17r7b9s1TuX0XDMk0B9fJV6v2=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div>Instagram is one of my favourite places to hang out online and it’s been a wash with words of the year, intentions and even some resolutions sneaking still over the last few days (it’s not the done thing to set new years resolutions anymore!).<p></p><p>Over the past few years I’ve found myself seeking out and setting my word for the year, dreaming up something empowering that set the tone for the coming 12 months, but invariably I end up forgetting all about it by April and the meaning and intention behind it get’s lost in my mind as life unfolds. </p><p>I don’t set resolutions either, and although they are frowned upon by most people now because it’s considered that they set you up to fail, I think they <i>can</i> be valuable and helpful to some people, because hey, we’re all different, however I<i> am</i> one of those people who have lost site of mine by the end of January. </p><p>But here we are at the start of January again and I’ve spent time over last week considering how I’ll approach the year ahead - will I choose a word or should I sent an intention? Or should I try a list of goals or create a mood board? So many possibilities right?</p><p>But in the end this is what I’ve concluded... it’s to do absolutely nothing!</p><p>Yes, I’m not going to settle on anything right now because one thing life has taught me these last few years is that can be completely unpredictable and what I think at the start of the year can be completely different to how things are going for me by the summer, even by the end of January to be honest.</p><p>I don’t want to leave my year ahead completely to fate though so I’m doing one thing only and that’s committing to being present in the month. So what does that look like?</p><p>Well, I’m going to only think about, plan for and invest in the current month we are in. For January that means using this month to set our family up for the year ahead. I’ve always kept our calendar clear for this month most years and it works really well because we get so much prep done without being distracted by things outside our family.</p><p>The house needs a clean because I was too ill with shingles over the festive season to do much, plus we went crazy and got ourselves a cute but active little puppy who has energy to boot so we’ve thrown ourselves into focusing on him and training him to live happily in his new home with us.</p><p>I need to get some clutter cleared too and my health needs getting back on track, these things take time and I don’t want to rush anything so I’m giving myself this month to just focus on those few things. I also have some big decisions to make around my ongoing education, work and childcare, these are also life commitments that I don’t want to rush into so taking my time this.</p><p>Already I feel relief around just committing to the month ahead, the pressure is off and I feel really focused for the first time in ages, plus when February rolls around there’s a whole new month to play around with, an open book, a clean slate and that feels exciting too. </p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-54150105275530996202021-10-01T06:00:00.004+01:002021-10-01T06:00:00.211+01:00Transitioning into Autumn<p><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnxA_ue2MCfGpUxwiehs5Sk_SbkJ-5e7IwDFB82LYLnNcpy16GdUuoaDJ_b2I88jCp90qHQUBUz3yihENXYlnNiJKZso1xFowxr3HudtIOjHonaOU31D_OAq6YNiMHcBVZpg1u7pQTtRY/s2048/IMG_4686.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnxA_ue2MCfGpUxwiehs5Sk_SbkJ-5e7IwDFB82LYLnNcpy16GdUuoaDJ_b2I88jCp90qHQUBUz3yihENXYlnNiJKZso1xFowxr3HudtIOjHonaOU31D_OAq6YNiMHcBVZpg1u7pQTtRY/w640-h640/IMG_4686.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Did you know that moths apparently symbolise transformation and inner wisdom, and have a connection to the moon, feminine energy and using your intuition…?</span></span></p><p></p>
<p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Well, these are all things I've learnt from an internet search on these small creatures this morning.</span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">There are so many of them fluttering around our house at bedtime lately, with darker nights and the windows still cracked open they’re finding their way in and I’m finding myself chasing them around with a cup and book trying to scoop them up and deposit them safely outside while the girls jump around on their beds screaming at them to be gone.</p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I wonder if they’re here to remind me to transition myself into this new season too? </p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">If you’ve been around here for a while and read other posts you’ll know that I have a spiritual side to me that resonates with symbolism like this. </p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Autumn really is upon us now, as the month changes so has the weather, the temperature and the leaves around us, all turning into something different, something new to get used to. </p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">It can be so easy to feel miserable about it too, I don’t know about you but I really flow better in the warmer months, so when the season does change I can feel a little bit of those winter blues coming in even before the winter is really here. </p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">So maybe, just like my little fluttering bedtime visitors are telling me too, I should allow myself to transition into the next season. and they have definitely come my way in the last few weeks. </p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">My inner wisdom also tells me that autumn doesn’t have to all be about the cold, the dark and the dismal. It can be about recognising the beauty around me as the colours in nature and my life change. It can be about making plans, ones that can be filled with joyful memories or help to protect and heal me. It can be about doing that one final thing before this year ends and a new one starts again. It can be about trusting in myself, believing that I can roll with whatever is thrown at me<br /> (and ask for support and guidance when I feel unsure!), and that who I am now will be a different version of myself that has lived and loved more and created and undone things and evolved in many ways by the end of this season, and isn’t that a wonderful thing to look forward to and witness!</p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Maybe those moths might seem like a nuisance at bedtime but they are the universe way of telling me to move forward confidently into the next season of the year, and of my life too.</p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8365344154858179513.post-34167848163568552892021-09-17T06:00:00.001+01:002021-09-17T06:00:00.180+01:00Birthday Wisdom<p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigDcfE9560vfGNAkc9QTDC4xyyYTk2PeP9-NhvAkcEhbyeSBeTtiqeWXgMmR8EBd3F37-MIlH3kkelDJ63HGP9PBeiF2rKJiibeKw_wrq1_Uh1YOiMszea-CEBObnExqky7RciPJdjo0w/s2048/s-o-c-i-a-l-c-u-t-ww8hljWABIE-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigDcfE9560vfGNAkc9QTDC4xyyYTk2PeP9-NhvAkcEhbyeSBeTtiqeWXgMmR8EBd3F37-MIlH3kkelDJ63HGP9PBeiF2rKJiibeKw_wrq1_Uh1YOiMszea-CEBObnExqky7RciPJdjo0w/w640-h426/s-o-c-i-a-l-c-u-t-ww8hljWABIE-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="text-align: start;">Photo by </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/@socialcut?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="text-align: start;">S O C I A L . C U T</a><span style="text-align: start;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/birthday-cake-candles?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="text-align: start;">Unsplash</a></span><br /><br /></span><span style="text-align: start;"></span></td></tr></tbody></table>Today I turn 44, and generally I’m a big fan of birthdays. I like celebrating other peoples and going that extra mile to make them feel special. I’ve also always like mine too, a day where <i>I</i> can feel special and bask in attention from others — that’s the extrovert in me!</p><p>Secretly I can find them triggering too, because on the most part they remind me of all the things I am not that I thought I would be and all the dreams and goals I thought I would achieve that I haven’t.</p><p>Turning 21 was underrated for me, I had just moved back to my home town, most people I knew had left and it was just me and my mum who was going through a tough time.</p><p>Turning 30 was lonely and terrifying, I was in an on/off relationship with a boy who was emotionally and mentally unavailable that was going no where. I had some questionable friendships, no family around and my career sucked. Plus I had this idea that I should be married with kids by 30, I clearly wasn’t and it clearly wasn’t on the horizon either, I felt a broken failure and if it wasn’t for my sister in law, who surprised me with a fancy dinner and a tarot reading, the day would have passed by unnoticed.</p><p>But turning 40 was everything though! My husband, who is normally useless with any kind of celebratory day surprised me with a trip the Seattle, he also arranged for the kids to be looked after and time off work with my boss! The school mums rallied and surprised me with dinner and drinks out AND my family went the extra mile too. That birthday was magical and just what I needed from a milestone birthday, and even though I was turning the big 4-0 I felt truly at my best in that moment.</p><p>Back to 44 then, and I’ve felt those mixed feeling rising to the surface all week. Since turning 40 lots of things have changed in my life, another baby, quitting my job of 9 years, my body rapidly going from being postnatal to premenopausal and, like the rest of the world, battling through a world pandemic. I’m not exactly where I thought I would be almost half way through this decade and that unnerves me a lot.</p><p>You see as much as a love my special day I've also always used it a yard stick in my life to measure success and worthiness, as you can imagine this is often a recipe for disaster for me. </p><p>So what of today then? Well, I’ve been thinking long and hard about this all week and I’ll be honest with you I’ve had a bit of a wobble. I’ve fixated on all the things that are lacking which unsurprisingly have been very bad for my mindset, plus having a September birthday doesn’t help when the weather changes and the nights and mornings get darker leaving my mood and motivation at a low point too.</p><p>Let me tell you though this birthday tale of mine, full woe and despair isn’t over, because I’ve decided to give it a happy ending. What if I could step out of myself for a minute, let all that ego crap go and put my own jumped up expectations on hold? What wisdom and comfort would I give myself today?</p><p><i>You are not defined by your years or the things you haven’t done,</i></p><p><i>You are not defined by who you were, what you said or what you did,</i></p><p><i>You are not define by how you lived in your mind or in your body,</i></p><p><i>And you are not defined by the people who did or didn’t surround you.</i></p><p><i>You are made by your strength, your tenacity, and your courage,</i></p><p><i>You are made by your compassion and your desire,</i></p><p><i>You are made by the things your survived and the love you created,</i></p><p><i>And you made by every little step towards being the truest, most authentic version of yourself,</i></p><p><i>Whoever she may be.</i></p><p><i>There is always time to journey to and discover her,</i></p><p><i>Because she's always there waiting for you.</i></p><p>Today I’m going swimming with my youngest, he’s been asking for “Swimming pool, swimming pool!” all week. My eldest returns from her school residential this afternoon and we’re going to order the biggest takeout curry we can and snuggle in with wine and presents and laughter and hugs and I know I will go to bed with my heart full and my birthday wisdom on repeat moving me forward into another year ahead.</p>Karen Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03692151257252765910noreply@blogger.com0